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Dota 2 is a free-to-play multiplayer online battle arena (MOBA) video game developed and published by Valve Corporation. The game is the stand-alone sequel to Defense of the Ancients (DotA), which was a community-created mod for Blizzard Entertainment's Warcraft III: Reign of Chaos and its expansion pack, The Frozen Throne. Dota 2 is played in matches between two teams of five players, with each team occupying and defending their own separate base on the map. Each of the ten players independently controls a powerful character, known as a "hero", who all have unique abilities and differing styles of play. During a match, players collect experience points and items for their heroes to successfully battle the opposing team's heroes in player versus player combat. A team wins by being the first to destroy a large structure located in the opposing team's base, called the "Ancient".

Development of Dota 2 began in 2009 when IceFrog, lead designer of the original Defense of the Ancients mod, was hired by Valve to create a modernized sequel. Dota 2 was officially released for Microsoft Windows, OS X, and Linux-based personal computers via the digital distribution platform Steam in July 2013, following a Windows-only public beta phase that began two years prior. The game initially used the original Source game engine until it was ported to Source 2 in 2015, making it the first game to use it. As the game is fully free-to-play with no heroes needing to be bought or unlocked, revenue is made from microtransactions, specifically loot boxes, battle passes, and a monthly-based subscription system called Dota Plus, which all offer cosmetic replacements for the heroes and other game elements in return. The game has also been updated with various other features since release, such as support for virtual reality (VR).


??????System Requirements?????

OS: Windows 7 or newer.

Processor: Dual core from Intel or AMD at 2.8 GHz.

Memory: 4 GB RAM.

Graphics: nVidia GeForce 8600/9600GT, ATI/AMD Radeon HD2600/3600.

DirectX: Version 9.0c.

Network: Broadband Internet connection.

Storage: 15 GB available space.

Sound Card: DirectX Compatible.



Despite some criticism going towards its steep learning curve and complexity, the game was praised for its rewarding gameplay, production quality, and faithfulness to its predecessor, with multiple gaming publications later considering it to be one of the greatest video games of all time. Since its release, Dota 2 has been one of the most played games on Steam, with over a million concurrent players at its peak. The popularity of the game has led to official merchandise for it being produced, including apparel, accessories, and toys, as well as promotional tie-ins to other games and media. The game also allows for the community to create custom game modes, maps, and hero cosmetics, which are uploaded to the Steam Workshop and curated by Valve. A digital collectible card game spin-off by Valve, titled Artifact, will be released in late 2018.
Dota 2 has a widespread and active competitive scene, with teams from across the world playing professionally in various leagues and tournaments. Premium Dota 2 tournaments often have prize pools totaling millions of U.S. dollars, the highest of any eSport. The largest of them is known as The International, which is produced annually by Valve and most commonly held at the KeyArena in Seattle. Valve also manages an event format known as the Dota Pro Circuit, which are a series of tournaments held annually that award qualification points based on results for getting directly invited to The International. For most tournaments, media coverage is done by a selection of on-site staff who provide commentary and analysis for the ongoing matches, similar to traditional sporting events. Broadcasts of professional Dota 2 matches are streamed live over the internet, and sometimes simulcast on television networks, with peak viewership numbers in the millions. The game has also been used in machine learning experiments, with OpenAI-curated bots playing against and defeating professional players.



Port to the Source 2 engine
In June 2015, Valve announced that the entirety of Dota 2 would be ported over to their Source 2 game engine in an update called Dota 2 Reborn.[85] Reborn was first released to the public as an opt-in beta update that same month,[86] and officially replaced the original client in September 2015, making it the first game to use the engine.[87] Reborn included a new user interface framework design, ability for custom game modes created by the community, and the full replacement of the original Source engine with Source 2.[88] Largely attributed to technical difficulties players experienced with the update, the global player base experienced a sharp drop of approximately sixteen percent the month following the release of it.[89] However, after various updates and patches, over a million concurrent players were playing again by the beginning of 2016, with that number being the largest in nearly a year.[90] The move to Source 2 also allowed the use of the Vulkan graphics API, which was released as an optional feature in May 2016, making Dota 2 one of the first games to offer it.[91]



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Top 10 DoTA 2 Newbie Tips - List Ogre
*************************************


Never fight uphill
*****************
A classic noob mistake is fighting an opponent who is on higher ground. You are missing 25% of your attacks while you can hardly see anything due to the fog of war. While on the other hand, your opponent, who is on higher ground can see you and knows that 1/4 attacks of yours are gonna miss. Never give that advantage to an enemy. Always be on higher ground or avoid the fight. Just a small side note, buying a Monkey King Bar, allows you to have a 100% hit chance regardless of where you are attacking from.

Detection items
*****************

Staying hidden or exposing hidden units is a big part of this game. I have seen games turn around with a well used smoke or dust. So what are they? Smoke hides you and all units around you for a period of time, and dust exposes hidden units. Dust is just like sentry wards, just lasts less longer and is more mobile. If you are playing against highly mobile invisible heroes, buy dust and expose them before they kill your team, if you are losing or want to surprise the enemy, smoke your team and go in. Just remember attacking something breaks the smoke spell or if you get too close to an enemy tower. Smoke also gives you a movement speed bonus. Smoke is most useful if you want to go to Roshan undetected as its almost always warded and smoke bypasses wards. Since we are on the topic of avoiding the enemy, if you are running away with low health from the enemy, just run in a zigzag motion across the jungle, never in a straight line.

Make tower stop attacking you
*******************************

I mentioned before that having illusions allows you to tower dive if the tower goes after the wrong hero (i.e your illusion), but how do you fool it? You may ask. Well here is a neat little trick, when the tower is raining destruction on you, just right click a creep which is close by, or an illusion of yours or if you are feeling particularly evil, another friendly hero. The tower will just redirect fire towards it. This is not a glitch or something, it’s a feature. Even with creeps, if they are attacking you, just right click your friendly creeps and the enemy creeps will focus on them instead of you. This little trick saves lives. Also you should know that first tier towers don’t have backdoor protection, meaning you don’t need your creeps near it to destroy it. If you see a low health tower, just go and finish it off, don’t wait for your creeps or for an enemy hero to deny it, yes you can deny towers too. It makes you lose that nice bonus gold your whole team gets. Lastly barracks (short form is “rax”) are a priority, destroy the enemy rax and your creeps will upgrade to “Mega creeps” gaining more health and damage. Makes the game much easier.

Wards and courier
******************
If your team doesn’t buy a courier and doesn’t ward, you’re probably gonna lose. Even if you aren’t a support but your team doesn’t buy a courier just suck it up and buy it yourself. Here is a little trick with the courier, you don’t need to go to the base yourself to spawn it. Just buy it while you are in the lane and right click on the courier and drop it from stash. Now anyone can just go to base and spawn it for you, and considering how your team was reluctant on buying one in the first place, its going to be very soon. Now for the wards, they last for a limited time so they constantly need to be replaced. You need to know what is going on in the river and the jungle because they are big blind spots. Without wards you are just asking to be ganked. To ward just buy them and place them on the giant eyes you see. A ward near Roshan is also essential mid game (or early game if they have an Ursa, as he can do a very early solo Roshan, with the right items).

And if you are laning against heroes who go invisible, buy sentry wards ASAP. Sentry wards can also “see” enemy observer wards which you can then swiftly remove, or just keep them there and fool the enemy into thinking you are stupid. If you lose a tower, place an observer ward where the tower fell just to know whats going on beyond your field of view. Also you should know that your field of view is reduced drastically at night time (except for a few nocturnal heroes). Lastly placing wards in the enemy jungle, will not allow the jungle creeps to spawn, hurting his early farm capability. I will go into detail about the best places to put sentry wards in the jungle in another guide.

Rune control
************
Runes are awesome, they cannot be underestimated. They give you a significant edge in battle. I won’t go into the details for each type of rune because its pretty intuitive, I just have some tips for you. Firstly they respawn every 2 mins, keep an eye on the clock. Also keep looking at the map if you have wards in place (more on that in the next point), its also important to know if your lane enemy has picked a rune. If hes glowing blue, get the hell out, he has double damage. Also you can bottle a rune for later use, by bottling which means that when you have a bottle, and you pick a rune it gets stored for later use. It also refills your bottle. Just remember that the rune expires in a few minutes and if you don’t activate it it will just activate automatically at a certain time.

Illusion runes are worth mentioning, they give you two clones of yourself. Use them for scouting other lanes and for fooling the enemy into attacking them. They are also pretty strong and if you have orb effects they will apply to them too. Another advantage is that they allow you to tower dive (going right under the enemy tower for a kill), as they buy you time since the tower will probably attack the wrong hero, if not there is a way to fool the tower (more on that later).


Know your role!
**************


Every hero has a role to fulfill in this game, and if anyone fails to do it, your team will have a bad time. Now the main important roles are carry, support, mid, and ganker. The ganker goes in a gang and kills and harasses the opponents, the mid plays on the middle lane alone and levels up fast and helps his other lanes when he gets an opportunity (TP scrolls are important for him, and a very stressful yet fun role to play in my opinion), the carry is very weak early game so he needs help staying alive but after enough farm, he can wreak havoc on the enemy, its also the hardest role to play because of a difficult early game. Lastly the support, he buys wards, the courier, and keeps his team alive through healing or sacrificing himself so the team can run away. Also its the easiest role to play, good for starters.

The usual format for a normal match in medium skill games are 2 supports, 1 mid, a ganker and a carry. And where the 2 supports make a baby sitting lane for the carry (so 3 on one lane), the ganker goes alone, and so does the mid. But remember adapting is critical, and in many games going 2:1:2 is better. When you pick a hero you see a small icon next to him in the hero selection screen, look at it, it tells you your role. Is it only for reference though, its very easy to switch roles with the right items and some creativity. Make sure you know what you are getting into, if you picked support, you are expected to ward, if you picked a carry, you are expected to dominate your enemies after a certain point, and so on. Also, you should know that picking a ranged hero is almost always easier than going melee. Since I mentioned hero selection, you should know what to skill first. Always, and I mean always level up a stun or slow. That’s like a rule, you need to stun your opponent so you can escape or kill him, depending on situation, but always useful. And for starting items, shield, tangoes, clarities are the way to go. The purpose of the early game is to stay alive. Also never ever buy a bottle unless you are playing mid (there are a lot of exceptions for the mid player, I can make an entire list for them).


Don’t Flame!
************
Look, you are new to this game, so… you are probably bad at it. People will complain a lot, they will curse you a lot, and for your first 50 games, you will be called a “noob”! However, remember everyone starts out like this! It’s a rite of passage! Don’t start flaming everyone, defending yourself or even saying sorry. Actually, you don’t need to say anything! (other than calling missing or requesting ganks). If you start cursing your teammates, you automatically ruin the team’s synergy. Also, you waste time typing rather than last hitting, which, if you remember our first point, is pretty important!

In the end, you will probably get reported and sent to the dungeons called *gasp* Low Priority. Just be nice to everyone and if need be, tell them that you’re new. They’ve all been there, they’ll understand! To be safe, however, it’s always a good idea to try out new heroes on bot matches, rather than going straight to the online arena.


TP Scrolls are your friends
************************

You know what really grinds my gears? Not buying TP scrolls. You need them after the first 15 minutes. I have actually seen many so-called pro-games in which they make this one mistake. “If they do it, why shouldn’t we?” you’ll say. Well, TP scrolls give you two big advantages. First, they give you a way to escape back to base in order to heal up if you are low on hp (an easy trick- quickly press the teleport key twice to automatically go to base). Second, they also allow you to go quickly to other lanes for a surprise gank (“gank” is for gang killing). Also, when you die, just buy a TP scroll to get back to your lane. “But it’s expensive!” you may scream. Actually, it’s not! A TP scroll only costs only one to two last hits! And if you don’t get back to your lane ASAP early game, you will most likely be a level lower than everyone. else – obviously, not good. If you are having trouble staying alive in the lane, buy a Ring of Health from the extremely underrated side shop. It would give you valuable health regeneration. In the end, remember that a bad start is hard to recover from, but TP scrolls definitely help!


The boots mistake
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Okay, I’m gonna tell you something, so listen well! I have seen two types of newbies, some who quickly save up and buy boots as their first item and others who don’t buy them at all. Keep this in mind: Boots are important! But not so important to go for them as a first item. Let me explain! Stat enhancing items are your top priority at the beginning of the game. These include Iron Branches, Circlets or Gauntlets of Strength. And some potions if you are playing a low HP hero.

However, after you get all your starting items, go for boots with the first 450 gold you get! You just don’t have to worry about them in the first 3 minutes. In addition, the small lane side shop sells boots, you don’t need to send a courier to base for it! That same side shop actually sells ingredients for upgraded boots as well (sadly, not for Tranquil and Travel boots).

Don’t auto-attack the creeps
......................................................
We commence this list starting with the most annoying mistake: Don’t auto-attack the creeps! Now, this may seem counter intuitive, but the idea is to always aim for the last hit only! Just get the gold and stay in the same position. Don’t push! (That means going on the offensive) Do this so you can farm up quickly and get some valuable XP (“Farm” means getting XP and gold through creep last-hitting).

One of the critical mistakes new players often make is to push too hard early game! They often go near the enemy tower and then retreat with low health. Sounds familiar? The only thing this so-called strategy does is to give the enemy some free farm. Not only this, but it also allows an enemy hero to flank you from behind and get an easy kill. Since you are so far from the safety of your tower, you will probably die very quickly. Another important concept is denying creeps. What you do is manually press the attack button and kill your own creeps when they are about to die. “Why would I kill my own creeps?! They are my friends!!” you may ask. A simple reason is that, when you deny them, you do two things: you take away your enemy’s chance to last hit while getting the bonus gold. And you deny him some XP. It has more pros than cons.



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Dota 2 is a free-to-play multiplayer online battle arena (MOBA) video game developed and published by Valve Corporation. The game is the stand-alone sequel to Defense of the Ancients (DotA), which was a community-created mod for Blizzard Entertainment's Warcraft III: Reign of Chaos and its expansion pack, The Frozen Throne. Dota 2 is played in matches between two teams of five players, with each team occupying and defending their own separate base on the map. Each of the ten players independently controls a powerful character, known as a "hero", who all have unique abilities and differing styles of play. During a match, players collect experience points and items for their heroes to successfully battle the opposing team's heroes in player versus player combat. A team wins by being the first to destroy a large structure located in the opposing team's base, called the "Ancient".

Development of Dota 2 began in 2009 when IceFrog, lead designer of the original Defense of the Ancients mod, was hired by Valve to create a modernized sequel. Dota 2 was officially released for Microsoft Windows, OS X, and Linux-based personal computers via the digital distribution platform Steam in July 2013, following a Windows-only public beta phase that began two years prior. The game initially used the original Source game engine until it was ported to Source 2 in 2015, making it the first game to use it. As the game is fully free-to-play with no heroes needing to be bought or unlocked, revenue is made from microtransactions, specifically loot boxes, battle passes, and a monthly-based subscription system called Dota Plus, which all offer cosmetic replacements for the heroes and other game elements in return. The game has also been updated with various other features since release, such as support for virtual reality (VR).


??????System Requirements?????

OS: Windows 7 or newer.

Processor: Dual core from Intel or AMD at 2.8 GHz.

Memory: 4 GB RAM.

Graphics: nVidia GeForce 8600/9600GT, ATI/AMD Radeon HD2600/3600.

DirectX: Version 9.0c.

Network: Broadband Internet connection.

Storage: 15 GB available space.

Sound Card: DirectX Compatible.



Despite some criticism going towards its steep learning curve and complexity, the game was praised for its rewarding gameplay, production quality, and faithfulness to its predecessor, with multiple gaming publications later considering it to be one of the greatest video games of all time. Since its release, Dota 2 has been one of the most played games on Steam, with over a million concurrent players at its peak. The popularity of the game has led to official merchandise for it being produced, including apparel, accessories, and toys, as well as promotional tie-ins to other games and media. The game also allows for the community to create custom game modes, maps, and hero cosmetics, which are uploaded to the Steam Workshop and curated by Valve. A digital collectible card game spin-off by Valve, titled Artifact, will be released in late 2018.
Dota 2 has a widespread and active competitive scene, with teams from across the world playing professionally in various leagues and tournaments. Premium Dota 2 tournaments often have prize pools totaling millions of U.S. dollars, the highest of any eSport. The largest of them is known as The International, which is produced annually by Valve and most commonly held at the KeyArena in Seattle. Valve also manages an event format known as the Dota Pro Circuit, which are a series of tournaments held annually that award qualification points based on results for getting directly invited to The International. For most tournaments, media coverage is done by a selection of on-site staff who provide commentary and analysis for the ongoing matches, similar to traditional sporting events. Broadcasts of professional Dota 2 matches are streamed live over the internet, and sometimes simulcast on television networks, with peak viewership numbers in the millions. The game has also been used in machine learning experiments, with OpenAI-curated bots playing against and defeating professional players.



Port to the Source 2 engine
In June 2015, Valve announced that the entirety of Dota 2 would be ported over to their Source 2 game engine in an update called Dota 2 Reborn.[85] Reborn was first released to the public as an opt-in beta update that same month,[86] and officially replaced the original client in September 2015, making it the first game to use the engine.[87] Reborn included a new user interface framework design, ability for custom game modes created by the community, and the full replacement of the original Source engine with Source 2.[88] Largely attributed to technical difficulties players experienced with the update, the global player base experienced a sharp drop of approximately sixteen percent the month following the release of it.[89] However, after various updates and patches, over a million concurrent players were playing again by the beginning of 2016, with that number being the largest in nearly a year.[90] The move to Source 2 also allowed the use of the Vulkan graphics API, which was released as an optional feature in May 2016, making Dota 2 one of the first games to offer it.[91]



---------------------|===============Start
----------------------\------------------------------------
------------------------\----------------------------------
--------------------------\---------------------------------
----------------------------\--------------------------------
-----------------------------|------------------------------
End=======/--------------------------------



Top 10 DoTA 2 Newbie Tips - List Ogre
*************************************


Never fight uphill
*****************
A classic noob mistake is fighting an opponent who is on higher ground. You are missing 25% of your attacks while you can hardly see anything due to the fog of war. While on the other hand, your opponent, who is on higher ground can see you and knows that 1/4 attacks of yours are gonna miss. Never give that advantage to an enemy. Always be on higher ground or avoid the fight. Just a small side note, buying a Monkey King Bar, allows you to have a 100% hit chance regardless of where you are attacking from.

Detection items
*****************

Staying hidden or exposing hidden units is a big part of this game. I have seen games turn around with a well used smoke or dust. So what are they? Smoke hides you and all units around you for a period of time, and dust exposes hidden units. Dust is just like sentry wards, just lasts less longer and is more mobile. If you are playing against highly mobile invisible heroes, buy dust and expose them before they kill your team, if you are losing or want to surprise the enemy, smoke your team and go in. Just remember attacking something breaks the smoke spell or if you get too close to an enemy tower. Smoke also gives you a movement speed bonus. Smoke is most useful if you want to go to Roshan undetected as its almost always warded and smoke bypasses wards. Since we are on the topic of avoiding the enemy, if you are running away with low health from the enemy, just run in a zigzag motion across the jungle, never in a straight line.

Make tower stop attacking you
*******************************

I mentioned before that having illusions allows you to tower dive if the tower goes after the wrong hero (i.e your illusion), but how do you fool it? You may ask. Well here is a neat little trick, when the tower is raining destruction on you, just right click a creep which is close by, or an illusion of yours or if you are feeling particularly evil, another friendly hero. The tower will just redirect fire towards it. This is not a glitch or something, it’s a feature. Even with creeps, if they are attacking you, just right click your friendly creeps and the enemy creeps will focus on them instead of you. This little trick saves lives. Also you should know that first tier towers don’t have backdoor protection, meaning you don’t need your creeps near it to destroy it. If you see a low health tower, just go and finish it off, don’t wait for your creeps or for an enemy hero to deny it, yes you can deny towers too. It makes you lose that nice bonus gold your whole team gets. Lastly barracks (short form is “rax”) are a priority, destroy the enemy rax and your creeps will upgrade to “Mega creeps” gaining more health and damage. Makes the game much easier.

Wards and courier
******************
If your team doesn’t buy a courier and doesn’t ward, you’re probably gonna lose. Even if you aren’t a support but your team doesn’t buy a courier just suck it up and buy it yourself. Here is a little trick with the courier, you don’t need to go to the base yourself to spawn it. Just buy it while you are in the lane and right click on the courier and drop it from stash. Now anyone can just go to base and spawn it for you, and considering how your team was reluctant on buying one in the first place, its going to be very soon. Now for the wards, they last for a limited time so they constantly need to be replaced. You need to know what is going on in the river and the jungle because they are big blind spots. Without wards you are just asking to be ganked. To ward just buy them and place them on the giant eyes you see. A ward near Roshan is also essential mid game (or early game if they have an Ursa, as he can do a very early solo Roshan, with the right items).

And if you are laning against heroes who go invisible, buy sentry wards ASAP. Sentry wards can also “see” enemy observer wards which you can then swiftly remove, or just keep them there and fool the enemy into thinking you are stupid. If you lose a tower, place an observer ward where the tower fell just to know whats going on beyond your field of view. Also you should know that your field of view is reduced drastically at night time (except for a few nocturnal heroes). Lastly placing wards in the enemy jungle, will not allow the jungle creeps to spawn, hurting his early farm capability. I will go into detail about the best places to put sentry wards in the jungle in another guide.

Rune control
************
Runes are awesome, they cannot be underestimated. They give you a significant edge in battle. I won’t go into the details for each type of rune because its pretty intuitive, I just have some tips for you. Firstly they respawn every 2 mins, keep an eye on the clock. Also keep looking at the map if you have wards in place (more on that in the next point), its also important to know if your lane enemy has picked a rune. If hes glowing blue, get the hell out, he has double damage. Also you can bottle a rune for later use, by bottling which means that when you have a bottle, and you pick a rune it gets stored for later use. It also refills your bottle. Just remember that the rune expires in a few minutes and if you don’t activate it it will just activate automatically at a certain time.

Illusion runes are worth mentioning, they give you two clones of yourself. Use them for scouting other lanes and for fooling the enemy into attacking them. They are also pretty strong and if you have orb effects they will apply to them too. Another advantage is that they allow you to tower dive (going right under the enemy tower for a kill), as they buy you time since the tower will probably attack the wrong hero, if not there is a way to fool the tower (more on that later).


Know your role!
**************


Every hero has a role to fulfill in this game, and if anyone fails to do it, your team will have a bad time. Now the main important roles are carry, support, mid, and ganker. The ganker goes in a gang and kills and harasses the opponents, the mid plays on the middle lane alone and levels up fast and helps his other lanes when he gets an opportunity (TP scrolls are important for him, and a very stressful yet fun role to play in my opinion), the carry is very weak early game so he needs help staying alive but after enough farm, he can wreak havoc on the enemy, its also the hardest role to play because of a difficult early game. Lastly the support, he buys wards, the courier, and keeps his team alive through healing or sacrificing himself so the team can run away. Also its the easiest role to play, good for starters.

The usual format for a normal match in medium skill games are 2 supports, 1 mid, a ganker and a carry. And where the 2 supports make a baby sitting lane for the carry (so 3 on one lane), the ganker goes alone, and so does the mid. But remember adapting is critical, and in many games going 2:1:2 is better. When you pick a hero you see a small icon next to him in the hero selection screen, look at it, it tells you your role. Is it only for reference though, its very easy to switch roles with the right items and some creativity. Make sure you know what you are getting into, if you picked support, you are expected to ward, if you picked a carry, you are expected to dominate your enemies after a certain point, and so on. Also, you should know that picking a ranged hero is almost always easier than going melee. Since I mentioned hero selection, you should know what to skill first. Always, and I mean always level up a stun or slow. That’s like a rule, you need to stun your opponent so you can escape or kill him, depending on situation, but always useful. And for starting items, shield, tangoes, clarities are the way to go. The purpose of the early game is to stay alive. Also never ever buy a bottle unless you are playing mid (there are a lot of exceptions for the mid player, I can make an entire list for them).


Don’t Flame!
************
Look, you are new to this game, so… you are probably bad at it. People will complain a lot, they will curse you a lot, and for your first 50 games, you will be called a “noob”! However, remember everyone starts out like this! It’s a rite of passage! Don’t start flaming everyone, defending yourself or even saying sorry. Actually, you don’t need to say anything! (other than calling missing or requesting ganks). If you start cursing your teammates, you automatically ruin the team’s synergy. Also, you waste time typing rather than last hitting, which, if you remember our first point, is pretty important!

In the end, you will probably get reported and sent to the dungeons called *gasp* Low Priority. Just be nice to everyone and if need be, tell them that you’re new. They’ve all been there, they’ll understand! To be safe, however, it’s always a good idea to try out new heroes on bot matches, rather than going straight to the online arena.


TP Scrolls are your friends
************************

You know what really grinds my gears? Not buying TP scrolls. You need them after the first 15 minutes. I have actually seen many so-called pro-games in which they make this one mistake. “If they do it, why shouldn’t we?” you’ll say. Well, TP scrolls give you two big advantages. First, they give you a way to escape back to base in order to heal up if you are low on hp (an easy trick- quickly press the teleport key twice to automatically go to base). Second, they also allow you to go quickly to other lanes for a surprise gank (“gank” is for gang killing). Also, when you die, just buy a TP scroll to get back to your lane. “But it’s expensive!” you may scream. Actually, it’s not! A TP scroll only costs only one to two last hits! And if you don’t get back to your lane ASAP early game, you will most likely be a level lower than everyone. else – obviously, not good. If you are having trouble staying alive in the lane, buy a Ring of Health from the extremely underrated side shop. It would give you valuable health regeneration. In the end, remember that a bad start is hard to recover from, but TP scrolls definitely help!


The boots mistake
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Okay, I’m gonna tell you something, so listen well! I have seen two types of newbies, some who quickly save up and buy boots as their first item and others who don’t buy them at all. Keep this in mind: Boots are important! But not so important to go for them as a first item. Let me explain! Stat enhancing items are your top priority at the beginning of the game. These include Iron Branches, Circlets or Gauntlets of Strength. And some potions if you are playing a low HP hero.

However, after you get all your starting items, go for boots with the first 450 gold you get! You just don’t have to worry about them in the first 3 minutes. In addition, the small lane side shop sells boots, you don’t need to send a courier to base for it! That same side shop actually sells ingredients for upgraded boots as well (sadly, not for Tranquil and Travel boots).

Don’t auto-attack the creeps
......................................................
We commence this list starting with the most annoying mistake: Don’t auto-attack the creeps! Now, this may seem counter intuitive, but the idea is to always aim for the last hit only! Just get the gold and stay in the same position. Don’t push! (That means going on the offensive) Do this so you can farm up quickly and get some valuable XP (“Farm” means getting XP and gold through creep last-hitting).

One of the critical mistakes new players often make is to push too hard early game! They often go near the enemy tower and then retreat with low health. Sounds familiar? The only thing this so-called strategy does is to give the enemy some free farm. Not only this, but it also allows an enemy hero to flank you from behind and get an easy kill. Since you are so far from the safety of your tower, you will probably die very quickly. Another important concept is denying creeps. What you do is manually press the attack button and kill your own creeps when they are about to die. “Why would I kill my own creeps?! They are my friends!!” you may ask. A simple reason is that, when you deny them, you do two things: you take away your enemy’s chance to last hit while getting the bonus gold. And you deny him some XP. It has more pros than cons.



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Dota 2 is a free-to-play multiplayer online battle arena (MOBA) video game developed and published by Valve Corporation. The game is the stand-alone sequel to Defense of the Ancients (DotA), which was a community-created mod for Blizzard Entertainment's Warcraft III: Reign of Chaos and its expansion pack, The Frozen Throne. Dota 2 is played in matches between two teams of five players, with each team occupying and defending their own separate base on the map. Each of the ten players independently controls a powerful character, known as a "hero", who all have unique abilities and differing styles of play. During a match, players collect experience points and items for their heroes to successfully battle the opposing team's heroes in player versus player combat. A team wins by being the first to destroy a large structure located in the opposing team's base, called the "Ancient".

Development of Dota 2 began in 2009 when IceFrog, lead designer of the original Defense of the Ancients mod, was hired by Valve to create a modernized sequel. Dota 2 was officially released for Microsoft Windows, OS X, and Linux-based personal computers via the digital distribution platform Steam in July 2013, following a Windows-only public beta phase that began two years prior. The game initially used the original Source game engine until it was ported to Source 2 in 2015, making it the first game to use it. As the game is fully free-to-play with no heroes needing to be bought or unlocked, revenue is made from microtransactions, specifically loot boxes, battle passes, and a monthly-based subscription system called Dota Plus, which all offer cosmetic replacements for the heroes and other game elements in return. The game has also been updated with various other features since release, such as support for virtual reality (VR).


??????System Requirements?????

OS: Windows 7 or newer.

Processor: Dual core from Intel or AMD at 2.8 GHz.

Memory: 4 GB RAM.

Graphics: nVidia GeForce 8600/9600GT, ATI/AMD Radeon HD2600/3600.

DirectX: Version 9.0c.

Network: Broadband Internet connection.

Storage: 15 GB available space.

Sound Card: DirectX Compatible.



Despite some criticism going towards its steep learning curve and complexity, the game was praised for its rewarding gameplay, production quality, and faithfulness to its predecessor, with multiple gaming publications later considering it to be one of the greatest video games of all time. Since its release, Dota 2 has been one of the most played games on Steam, with over a million concurrent players at its peak. The popularity of the game has led to official merchandise for it being produced, including apparel, accessories, and toys, as well as promotional tie-ins to other games and media. The game also allows for the community to create custom game modes, maps, and hero cosmetics, which are uploaded to the Steam Workshop and curated by Valve. A digital collectible card game spin-off by Valve, titled Artifact, will be released in late 2018.
Dota 2 has a widespread and active competitive scene, with teams from across the world playing professionally in various leagues and tournaments. Premium Dota 2 tournaments often have prize pools totaling millions of U.S. dollars, the highest of any eSport. The largest of them is known as The International, which is produced annually by Valve and most commonly held at the KeyArena in Seattle. Valve also manages an event format known as the Dota Pro Circuit, which are a series of tournaments held annually that award qualification points based on results for getting directly invited to The International. For most tournaments, media coverage is done by a selection of on-site staff who provide commentary and analysis for the ongoing matches, similar to traditional sporting events. Broadcasts of professional Dota 2 matches are streamed live over the internet, and sometimes simulcast on television networks, with peak viewership numbers in the millions. The game has also been used in machine learning experiments, with OpenAI-curated bots playing against and defeating professional players.



Port to the Source 2 engine
In June 2015, Valve announced that the entirety of Dota 2 would be ported over to their Source 2 game engine in an update called Dota 2 Reborn.[85] Reborn was first released to the public as an opt-in beta update that same month,[86] and officially replaced the original client in September 2015, making it the first game to use the engine.[87] Reborn included a new user interface framework design, ability for custom game modes created by the community, and the full replacement of the original Source engine with Source 2.[88] Largely attributed to technical difficulties players experienced with the update, the global player base experienced a sharp drop of approximately sixteen percent the month following the release of it.[89] However, after various updates and patches, over a million concurrent players were playing again by the beginning of 2016, with that number being the largest in nearly a year.[90] The move to Source 2 also allowed the use of the Vulkan graphics API, which was released as an optional feature in May 2016, making Dota 2 one of the first games to offer it.[91]



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Top 10 DoTA 2 Newbie Tips - List Ogre
*************************************


Never fight uphill
*****************
A classic noob mistake is fighting an opponent who is on higher ground. You are missing 25% of your attacks while you can hardly see anything due to the fog of war. While on the other hand, your opponent, who is on higher ground can see you and knows that 1/4 attacks of yours are gonna miss. Never give that advantage to an enemy. Always be on higher ground or avoid the fight. Just a small side note, buying a Monkey King Bar, allows you to have a 100% hit chance regardless of where you are attacking from.

Detection items
*****************

Staying hidden or exposing hidden units is a big part of this game. I have seen games turn around with a well used smoke or dust. So what are they? Smoke hides you and all units around you for a period of time, and dust exposes hidden units. Dust is just like sentry wards, just lasts less longer and is more mobile. If you are playing against highly mobile invisible heroes, buy dust and expose them before they kill your team, if you are losing or want to surprise the enemy, smoke your team and go in. Just remember attacking something breaks the smoke spell or if you get too close to an enemy tower. Smoke also gives you a movement speed bonus. Smoke is most useful if you want to go to Roshan undetected as its almost always warded and smoke bypasses wards. Since we are on the topic of avoiding the enemy, if you are running away with low health from the enemy, just run in a zigzag motion across the jungle, never in a straight line.

Make tower stop attacking you
*******************************

I mentioned before that having illusions allows you to tower dive if the tower goes after the wrong hero (i.e your illusion), but how do you fool it? You may ask. Well here is a neat little trick, when the tower is raining destruction on you, just right click a creep which is close by, or an illusion of yours or if you are feeling particularly evil, another friendly hero. The tower will just redirect fire towards it. This is not a glitch or something, it’s a feature. Even with creeps, if they are attacking you, just right click your friendly creeps and the enemy creeps will focus on them instead of you. This little trick saves lives. Also you should know that first tier towers don’t have backdoor protection, meaning you don’t need your creeps near it to destroy it. If you see a low health tower, just go and finish it off, don’t wait for your creeps or for an enemy hero to deny it, yes you can deny towers too. It makes you lose that nice bonus gold your whole team gets. Lastly barracks (short form is “rax”) are a priority, destroy the enemy rax and your creeps will upgrade to “Mega creeps” gaining more health and damage. Makes the game much easier.

Wards and courier
******************
If your team doesn’t buy a courier and doesn’t ward, you’re probably gonna lose. Even if you aren’t a support but your team doesn’t buy a courier just suck it up and buy it yourself. Here is a little trick with the courier, you don’t need to go to the base yourself to spawn it. Just buy it while you are in the lane and right click on the courier and drop it from stash. Now anyone can just go to base and spawn it for you, and considering how your team was reluctant on buying one in the first place, its going to be very soon. Now for the wards, they last for a limited time so they constantly need to be replaced. You need to know what is going on in the river and the jungle because they are big blind spots. Without wards you are just asking to be ganked. To ward just buy them and place them on the giant eyes you see. A ward near Roshan is also essential mid game (or early game if they have an Ursa, as he can do a very early solo Roshan, with the right items).

And if you are laning against heroes who go invisible, buy sentry wards ASAP. Sentry wards can also “see” enemy observer wards which you can then swiftly remove, or just keep them there and fool the enemy into thinking you are stupid. If you lose a tower, place an observer ward where the tower fell just to know whats going on beyond your field of view. Also you should know that your field of view is reduced drastically at night time (except for a few nocturnal heroes). Lastly placing wards in the enemy jungle, will not allow the jungle creeps to spawn, hurting his early farm capability. I will go into detail about the best places to put sentry wards in the jungle in another guide.

Rune control
************
Runes are awesome, they cannot be underestimated. They give you a significant edge in battle. I won’t go into the details for each type of rune because its pretty intuitive, I just have some tips for you. Firstly they respawn every 2 mins, keep an eye on the clock. Also keep looking at the map if you have wards in place (more on that in the next point), its also important to know if your lane enemy has picked a rune. If hes glowing blue, get the hell out, he has double damage. Also you can bottle a rune for later use, by bottling which means that when you have a bottle, and you pick a rune it gets stored for later use. It also refills your bottle. Just remember that the rune expires in a few minutes and if you don’t activate it it will just activate automatically at a certain time.

Illusion runes are worth mentioning, they give you two clones of yourself. Use them for scouting other lanes and for fooling the enemy into attacking them. They are also pretty strong and if you have orb effects they will apply to them too. Another advantage is that they allow you to tower dive (going right under the enemy tower for a kill), as they buy you time since the tower will probably attack the wrong hero, if not there is a way to fool the tower (more on that later).


Know your role!
**************


Every hero has a role to fulfill in this game, and if anyone fails to do it, your team will have a bad time. Now the main important roles are carry, support, mid, and ganker. The ganker goes in a gang and kills and harasses the opponents, the mid plays on the middle lane alone and levels up fast and helps his other lanes when he gets an opportunity (TP scrolls are important for him, and a very stressful yet fun role to play in my opinion), the carry is very weak early game so he needs help staying alive but after enough farm, he can wreak havoc on the enemy, its also the hardest role to play because of a difficult early game. Lastly the support, he buys wards, the courier, and keeps his team alive through healing or sacrificing himself so the team can run away. Also its the easiest role to play, good for starters.

The usual format for a normal match in medium skill games are 2 supports, 1 mid, a ganker and a carry. And where the 2 supports make a baby sitting lane for the carry (so 3 on one lane), the ganker goes alone, and so does the mid. But remember adapting is critical, and in many games going 2:1:2 is better. When you pick a hero you see a small icon next to him in the hero selection screen, look at it, it tells you your role. Is it only for reference though, its very easy to switch roles with the right items and some creativity. Make sure you know what you are getting into, if you picked support, you are expected to ward, if you picked a carry, you are expected to dominate your enemies after a certain point, and so on. Also, you should know that picking a ranged hero is almost always easier than going melee. Since I mentioned hero selection, you should know what to skill first. Always, and I mean always level up a stun or slow. That’s like a rule, you need to stun your opponent so you can escape or kill him, depending on situation, but always useful. And for starting items, shield, tangoes, clarities are the way to go. The purpose of the early game is to stay alive. Also never ever buy a bottle unless you are playing mid (there are a lot of exceptions for the mid player, I can make an entire list for them).


Don’t Flame!
************
Look, you are new to this game, so… you are probably bad at it. People will complain a lot, they will curse you a lot, and for your first 50 games, you will be called a “noob”! However, remember everyone starts out like this! It’s a rite of passage! Don’t start flaming everyone, defending yourself or even saying sorry. Actually, you don’t need to say anything! (other than calling missing or requesting ganks). If you start cursing your teammates, you automatically ruin the team’s synergy. Also, you waste time typing rather than last hitting, which, if you remember our first point, is pretty important!

In the end, you will probably get reported and sent to the dungeons called *gasp* Low Priority. Just be nice to everyone and if need be, tell them that you’re new. They’ve all been there, they’ll understand! To be safe, however, it’s always a good idea to try out new heroes on bot matches, rather than going straight to the online arena.


TP Scrolls are your friends
************************

You know what really grinds my gears? Not buying TP scrolls. You need them after the first 15 minutes. I have actually seen many so-called pro-games in which they make this one mistake. “If they do it, why shouldn’t we?” you’ll say. Well, TP scrolls give you two big advantages. First, they give you a way to escape back to base in order to heal up if you are low on hp (an easy trick- quickly press the teleport key twice to automatically go to base). Second, they also allow you to go quickly to other lanes for a surprise gank (“gank” is for gang killing). Also, when you die, just buy a TP scroll to get back to your lane. “But it’s expensive!” you may scream. Actually, it’s not! A TP scroll only costs only one to two last hits! And if you don’t get back to your lane ASAP early game, you will most likely be a level lower than everyone. else – obviously, not good. If you are having trouble staying alive in the lane, buy a Ring of Health from the extremely underrated side shop. It would give you valuable health regeneration. In the end, remember that a bad start is hard to recover from, but TP scrolls definitely help!


The boots mistake
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Okay, I’m gonna tell you something, so listen well! I have seen two types of newbies, some who quickly save up and buy boots as their first item and others who don’t buy them at all. Keep this in mind: Boots are important! But not so important to go for them as a first item. Let me explain! Stat enhancing items are your top priority at the beginning of the game. These include Iron Branches, Circlets or Gauntlets of Strength. And some potions if you are playing a low HP hero.

However, after you get all your starting items, go for boots with the first 450 gold you get! You just don’t have to worry about them in the first 3 minutes. In addition, the small lane side shop sells boots, you don’t need to send a courier to base for it! That same side shop actually sells ingredients for upgraded boots as well (sadly, not for Tranquil and Travel boots).

Don’t auto-attack the creeps
......................................................
We commence this list starting with the most annoying mistake: Don’t auto-attack the creeps! Now, this may seem counter intuitive, but the idea is to always aim for the last hit only! Just get the gold and stay in the same position. Don’t push! (That means going on the offensive) Do this so you can farm up quickly and get some valuable XP (“Farm” means getting XP and gold through creep last-hitting).

One of the critical mistakes new players often make is to push too hard early game! They often go near the enemy tower and then retreat with low health. Sounds familiar? The only thing this so-called strategy does is to give the enemy some free farm. Not only this, but it also allows an enemy hero to flank you from behind and get an easy kill. Since you are so far from the safety of your tower, you will probably die very quickly. Another important concept is denying creeps. What you do is manually press the attack button and kill your own creeps when they are about to die. “Why would I kill my own creeps?! They are my friends!!” you may ask. A simple reason is that, when you deny them, you do two things: you take away your enemy’s chance to last hit while getting the bonus gold. And you deny him some XP. It has more pros than cons.



Tag::::>>.


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submitted by RitaPTillery to u/RitaPTillery [link] [comments]

Sable Penumbra

Name: Team: Age: Gender: Species: Aura:
Sable Noble Penumbra*1 DSSC 19 Female Human Aquamarine/Cyan with small stars
*1: As of Update IV, Sable recognized her individuality by separating herself from the Penumbras and was adopted by the Noble family.
Attributes
Mental # Physical # Social #
Intelligence 4 Strength 2 Presence 2
Wits 4 Dexterity 2 3 [12 XP] Manipulation 2
Resolve 2 Stamina 4 Composure 2
Skills
Mental -3 Physical -1 Social -1
Academics 2 Athletics 1 Empathy 2
Computer Brawl Expression
Craft 3 Drive Intimidation
Grimm 2 Melee Weapons 4 Persuasion 1
Survival 3 Larceny Socialize 1
Medicine Ranged Weapons 3 Streetwise
Politics Stealth 1 Subterfuge
Dust 1
Other
Merits # Flaws # Aura/Weapons #
Quick Healing 4 Curiosity Free Aura 2
Fame 1 Low Self Image 2 Semblance 2
Kevlar Vest 1 Nightmares [Removed, 4XP] 1 Weapon 4 (16 XP)
Eidetic Memory 2 Insomnia 1
Dust Infused Weapon [Electric] 1 (2 XP) Dark Secret 1
Fast Reflexes 1 (2 XP) Overprotective 1
Infamous 2
Flaw Details
Dark Secret- Sable is adopted. If discovered, the Penumbra house, by name, would end. Sable would become a laughing stock among some individuals.
  • Art:
Picture of Sable Penumbra, Album of her beautiful 3D model! And other misc., T-Pose/Break Down, Doodle (not done by me), Ascending Prospect and Fallen Diffidence, Celestial Outfit
  • Physical Description:
Sable is short, standing at 5'2. The young woman has green-blue eyes with short, bouncy, and wavy charcoal colored hair with a large majority pushed to the sides. She is rather light, coming in at 117 pounds. Her body type can roughly be matched to the body types in this picture, specifically 'Anna' or a less exaggerated 'Orochi'. Her skin is that of a light complexion, and she has a strand of hair that commonly falls in front of her right eye. Due to her insomnia, she tends to have bags under her eyes, something that contrasts her otherwise spotless face. Her voice is rather meek yet energetic all at the same time, putting a slight emphasis on 'ess' sounds. It tends to crack commonly and emotion is easy to detect in it, though she does have astounding control over it.
'Old' outfit; original default, Code-named 'Eclipsed'. Not commonly worn as of Update IV: She wears well fitted pants with vertical white lines that run along them as well as grey suspenders that hang off the sides. A white metal belt holds them up (her weapon), and a grey dress shirt covering her chest. Sable wears a white tie and a ghost white/light grey sweater over it, with the tie tucked in. Resting on the left arm at around bicep level, two black stripes rest on the jacket's sleeve. Just underneath this clothing item is a thin kevlar vest. Over this rests a grey pocket-vest jacket, usually buttoned only up to her stomach. On her right shoulder is for protection. The metal centerpiece that holds the straps in imprinted with her family logo. This various wear tends to cover and disguise her mid ranged bust and rather frail frame. She also has a necklace/pocket watch wrapped around her right wrist with her family sigil on it. This sigil is a black circle, representing the moon in a solar eclipse, with rays from the sun taking the shape of spears radiating from it.
Around her pant legs (3 each) and underneath her coat are black leather strips, used to keep blood flow and prevent being knocked out by high G aerial maneuvers. Around her wrists are metal white gloves with armor running along each section of the hand and fingers.
For shoes, she wears two metal boots, he shin plate rising almost to the knee. The armor splits at the ankle to allow for movement, and the tip of the boot is pointed slightly to allow for more deadly kicks.
On the right ear, she has one small muted-light blue earring that is but a small circle smaller than her earlobe, while on the left it is a hexagonal crystal about two inches long of the same color.
'Alt outfit', most commonly worn. Code-named 'Celestial':
This outfit represents the new Sable Noble. Rather literally too, as Argo Noble picked out the sweater dress that would become the base. As wear that is far more feminine, Sable now has the confidence to dress in a more attractive manner. Now that she isn't insecure and anxious, she can now keep on the weight that enhances her figure and further defines her curves in what can only be called a very motherly body type. After being in the sun so long, her soft face have gained freckles, making her face look exactly like depicted here. Without 3 layers of vests to shrink her bust, it's shape is shown even if not directly. Her armored metal faulds emphasize her hips, and she wears the gloves and stockings picked out by Amethyst that represent her desire become her own person, and dress more like the beautiful young woman she could become. Her necklace is the constellation necklace made out of an expensive metal as a gift from her boyfriend Zaffre, representing her leaving her emotional shell. Overall, it is a rather literal display of her development.
Casual wear: Most commonly she is seen with a tan draping long coat, short shorts, and a tank top, though sometimes she trades out the shorts for a short skirt. Though more common before she came Sable Noble, she would wear a black frilly outfit that exposed her shoulders.
Sleep wear: Sable, when her sleep schedule isn't constantly interrupted by her chronic insomnia, is generally found wearing a large oversized T-shirt, which is likely from her boyfriend, Zaffre. For bottoms she simply wears patterned pajamas
  • Weapon:
Nægling Arondight's Old Description
Nægling Arondight's appearance
As of Update IV, Nægling has broken and been replaced by Sable's new weapons.
After exploring herself and her own individuality, Sable has designed two new weapons, Ascending Prospect, a rifle-sword-lance-scythe and Fallen Diffidence, a sheathe-shield. The weapon is designed for quick and simply transitions between its forms. The rifle needs no transformation to change into a sword, one must only grab the stock as if it was a handle. To transform it into the form of a lance this stock-hilt extends, allowing it to become a glaive-esque weapon. Finally, the blade swings down, allowing it to become a scythe. The rifle itself is very sleek and light, being made out of lignum vitae. Lignum vitae is a wood that is easier to work with than steel, but even harder than the metal and far less brittle. Metal reinforcements are made with a sturdy black metal, and as the sword and shield are gradually damaged, it will be repaired with the old technique of Kintsugi. The shield itself is small, having a handle which the arm is put through allowing for non-impeding function and easy bashing.
  • Semblance/Aura:
Astral Glissade - 1 point (Minor Action)
When activating, glyphs glow around her wrists as gravity appears to temporarily be disabled. Her hair flutters and her earring jingles, her eyes glowing slightly. Upon activation, a vertical series of runic symbols appear on her back which gives an aquamarine light trail when she moves. Her eyes keep a soft glow as well. She moves almost as if skating along the ground.
Effect: For one turn this allows movement of [Semblance/2] and allows [Semblance] points to be used from defense against ranged attacks. If she does a maneuver that removes her defense, she does not gain this bonus
  • Backstory:
Sable Penumbra comes from a very famous line of huntsman that originated in the kingdom of Atlas. Due to the training she has received ever since she was young, she had very few childhood friends. As a result, she tries to be social to make up for last time, usually coming off as overbearing. The young woman's quirks rest in her genuine attempts to be fun.
Her parents, the Penumbra family, rival and sister house of the Umbra family, are well known and very traditional and wealthy people. They dedicate themselves to the knowledge of battle and war, and are never without their weapon. Her parents, while mostly famous just because the Penumbra house has a long line of expert huntsman, are well known due to the assassination of several very high class Grimm.
The two families, while rivals in huntsman competition, were rather close. The two families would make bets on who would win, sometimes betting on the other families fighters. This friendly rivalry had a positive effect on both, as they had another motive to push themselves to become stronger fighters. They both clung to the old ways of battling Grimm with huntsman, and detested the new Atlesian military handling the Grimm threat. To both, A huntsman was a Grimm hunter first, and a international mercenary second. Atlas sometimes thought the opposite.
This reflects into Sable, if not into her personality. While she is a kind and light-hearted person, she feels odd without her weapon, as she was taught to care for it more than even the members of her own team. This, of course, did not resonate with her at all. She always cared about others, sometimes more than her own safety. Due to her advanced intellect, she completed her weapon's design at age 11, and even built its dust power core. Both her and her parents agree that Vale was a better fit for her training, as they stuck closer to the Grimm Hunting beliefs for the huntsman.
Her favorite pastime activities range from reading books, usually far above the reading level for her age, or tinkering with mechanical objects. Another activity she enjoyed was reverse engineering her toys, as well as the rare video game her father allowed her to play. It was not uncommon for her to share a game of chess with her mother over a drink in the cool breeze.
She also loves to draw, despite being terrible at it. Her mother tended to struggle to hide her laughs, and always complimented her daughter's works. Her and her mother would commonly spend time together, usually over tea and scones that the mansion's servants prepared.
Her secret passion is food. She loves to eat, and appreciates how she almost never effects her weight. That said, that is the only thing she appreciates about her small frame. While a small target, it doesn't have stride length or the muscle mass a true Penumbra house member is expected to have. Her parents usually do not treat her any differently for being adopted, but this is one issue that visibly disappointing them.
Between her, relative to her parents, weaker body and the twitchy behavior she had gained, the image of herself was not a positive one. She was the last member of the Penumbra house, and she wasn't even good enough to have been born with their blood. She received their name only, and should she slip up further, this would be revealed. She didn't see herself as a good huntsman due to having to live in the shadow of both of her parents, and being expected to live up to their heights. It never dawned on her that she was a good fighter, her parents just were great. Indeed, she viewed them as what might be described as far as the bare minimum effort needed to be a true huntsman, and that she wasn't even near them. She didn't think she was strong enough to be as refined as they acted. She didn't think she was good enough. If this is true or not, that remains to be determined.
Her father is Nero Penumbra, and her mother is Melancholia (Melli) Penumbra. They would commonly spend time in the pond garden, Sable reclined on her mother's back as she gently stroked her hair. If she was more hyper, she could roll around with her father Nero in the flower garden (much to the dismay of Melli.) It was moments like these that made Sable understand that her parents did love her, much as she did them. That said, occasionally even in these moments, her father would cause her to enter a surprise spar, be it throwing her into the pound or flipping her when they held hands. Little but persistent things like this, coupled with the fact she didn't learn she was adopted until she was 11, built up her issues with trust.
Occasionally one or both parents would go off for huntsman missions. During this time, one of the servants, Miss Chara Coal, would take care of her. While the servant would commonly tell her parents that they were still doing severe training, usually they would play video games together.
Chara had a daughter, Ash, who was only 6. During these times, Chara would bring the daughter over, and Sable would play with the young girl. Sometimes it was a little stressful, as the Penumbra mansion has sharpened weapons hanging around the house for decoration, and Sable would fear the child knocking one of them down. That, or that the child would slip on the tile.
Chara would commonly tell bed time stories to both Ash and Sable, usually about Vale. Chara came from Vale, and these stories further inspired her to attend Beacon and filled her with a desire to see the world.
While her parents were away, she would always miss them, but this feeling was always conflicting the relief of the vacation from training. Overall, they were confusing times.
It was not uncommon that in the middle of the night when Sable was fast asleep, she would be attacked by the armored men of the Penumbra house as a training exercise to always be prepared. These could be any of the servants of the house.
Her biggest friend as a child was perhaps her 'rival' that she would have to face in tournaments from the Umbra house, Flint Umbra. Their relationship was platonic in nature, but there was something about his mysterious smirk that reached into the depths of her curiosity and tugged at the back of her mind. His humor, which partially played on his large ego, amused her. They could rarely meet on their own, and commonly would have to sneak out of their houses to meet up at the local parks, where they would star gaze. Flint would tell some story about how he took down an adult huntsman, or something of that nature, while Sable would make remarks or jokes about it. That said, her curiosity to see the outside world and Flint, as well as the intellect needed to escape the house, commonly got her in trouble. That said, her father never got too angry, instead beefing up the security in her home so that Sable had to find new and creative ways to escape and see her friends outside of their meetings at the annual tournaments.
These tournaments, held by the combat school she attended as well as other schools of Atlas, was a way to test the strength of each student. In a way, it was like a national Vytal festival instead of international. There would be drinks and fireworks, and all the young students would play around, even with the rather strict aura Altas expects.
She didn't always win these, but between her family and her victories, she became rather famous, even if only among young aspiring fighters.
During times without the need for spars, she would commonly mess around with the other candidates for the tournament. Anything for giggle filled slumber parties with the girls, or in her young age, mud fights with the boys. During this time, she would always have a smile on her face, and a giggling tone in her voice. She could only attend these things with her friends at the tournament, when competitors were expected to sleep in dorms.
That said, there are occasions in her past where she felt uneasy here, expecting those warriors to hop out like they did at night and attack her.
In her studies, she became very interested in the Grimm. Their known anatomy, and the overall mystery of their very existence, it all not only drove her academic studies, but it influenced her drive to follow her parent's path. The dream to fight them more in the field, not in the classroom environment of her previous schools or the rare outings. She wanted to put the instincts to survive programmed into her by her parents to the test. As her interest in the Grimm grew, Sable would ask her parents to regale her with stories of their journeys of being huntsman.
In the end, this inspired a desire to become a huntress. Not only does she enjoy fighting the Grimm, removed from the setting of the Penumbra household, but she also wants to encounter Grimm more, be it fighting or studying. For Sable, Beacon Academy is a road of adventure and curiosity.
  • Personality:
She is very happy, smart, curious, and quirky around people, if not secretly fearful. While not silent, she often struggles with what to say, and as a result of her effort, commonly comes off as either overbearing or silent depending on her mood. Overall, her attitude is slightly inconsistent from the outside looking in. When alone, however, she is paranoid and twitchy, and is easily scared. Sable is generally a very light hearted and caring young woman, commonly not taking things seriously. She fears being alone, and is completely unhinged when she is away from her weapon. She cares for her friends and team, to the point where her own safety is compromised, and rarely prioritizes the mission.
She commonly has nightmares of armored figures attacking her, an event that was common in the Penumbra household. She would be attacked in her sleep to cause her to always be aware of her surroundings. The result, however, was not creating a refined and honed warrior, but a scared and paranoid girl. Despite her love for her father and mother, and their love for her, they have a horrible relationship due to her extensive training, which caused her to develop serious trust issues.
She is a very moral person, and is commonly able to sympathize and see one's reasoning for their actions. As a result, she very rarely takes political stances, despite the faunus situation, and the tense Atlas/Vale relations. Despite having the ideas to care for only your weapon and your name, Sable never grew fond of the idea. Her family wasn't foreign to the concept of dying in battle, but only for their family and ideals they believed in. To Sable, she could only see herself dying to save her loved ones. Anything else, and she'd try to survive.
Sable also struggles with a low self image. As a child of a famous line of huntsman, expectations are placed on her, and have since she was young. However, as a aspiring fighter, she has yet to take her name, at least. While she was very well known to young fighters in Atlas, and her influence surely spreads to Beacon, she at least has less of that stress. Her name is certainly known, but when they hear the name 'Penumbra', they would know of her parents, but not necessarily her and certainly not by sight alone.
That said, with these pressures, she never feels she is good enough. Add on top of this that her fighting abilities are likely more fit for the tactical-oriented field than in the fast paced arena (and how in the arena she likely is to be the underdog, as she isn't the strongest), and she finds herself continuously disappointing her family name. Grades, of course, are not an issue for her. That said, nobody is going to think that she is living up to her family's title because she got an A on a really rough test, even if the rest of the class failed. All in all, after living in her parent's shadow, she never learned to blame the circumstance, instead blaming herself.
Her birthday is July 21st
Advantages
Speed Health Defense Armor Initiative
9 9 3 2/3 6
Attacks
Attack Value
Unarmed 2
Melee 10
Ranged 9
Thrown 6
  • Progression
Update I: Bought Dust Infused Weapon [Electricity]
Update II: Bought Ranged Weapon 3
Update III: Added her Beautiful 3D Model!
Update IV: Bought Weapon 4 and Removed Her Nightmare Flaw, as well as added in her alt, new name, and new weapon.
Update V: Bought Dexterity 3
Update VI: Minor Edits
Update VII: Happy Birthday Sable!
Update VIII: Minor Edits
Update IX: Bought Fast Reflexes
Update X: Obtained Infamous 2
  • Infamous: [Beacon Students, Beacon Staff] Sable ended up shooting an unarmed student and it resulted in an injury. This was determined to not be 100% her fault, but the reputation as someone unhinged, earned or not, has followed her ever sense.
Purchasing this flaw back will require two events to be submitted along with the XP:
  • Sable will need to go to therapy.
  • Sable will need to have a high stakes situation that she manages to calm down without combat.
submitted by DekktheODST to rwbyRP [link] [comments]

House Party 12/4/17 - Part Three

Becca falls to the ground nearly knocked out, Felix smirking, but this celebration is short lived, as Blackwater manages to come up from behind, and rolls Felix up!
1!
2!
3! No! Felix kicks out at 2.9!
Both men scramble to their feet after the pin, as Blackwater grabs Felix first and goes to whip him into a corner! As he rushes straight back at him, but Felix gets his legs off, and kicks Blackwater off! Felix then himself rushes at Blackwater, going for a running high knee! But Blackwater manages to dodge, and pushes Felix away, and straight into Mia!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Paisner: Mia down! Oh christ this can’t be good for SUENO!
Felix looks down for a moment, but decides there’s no use in just standing there, as he turns around, but turns around straight into a bicycle kick from Blackwater! But Felix sidesteps, and as Louis turns back around, Felix quickly scoops him up, lifts him into vertical suplex position, before spiking his head onto his knee with a brainbuster straight onto it!
Crowd: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Paisner: Boah Driver! Blackwater is out! And if they can keep this up until Mia is back up, SUENO could have this!
Out of the corner of his eye, Felix then sees Dutch begin to get up, as Dutch charges at him, but is met with a quick and stiff roundhouse kick to the head! Stunning him, and knocking him to the mat!
Crowd: YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
Paisner: Both of D&B out! What just a few seconds ago looking dire with how we know D&B act, they could actually come out fine from!
Felix then hypes up the crowd further, as he notice D&B had both fell right by eachother, as he calls Andrew into the ring! Andrew obliges and gets in, taking a spot in his corner, as Felix runs off to the opposite corner! D&B then both start to get up, back to back to each other, as both look completely out of it! They slowly kneel up further and further until fully kneeled, as then, SUENO both rush out the corner, and goes for stereo superkicks to D&B! But as the extend their legs, D&B quickly strike, as they drive their forearms into both of SUENO’S groins for double low blows!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Paisner: DAMMIT! OF COURSE!
Both members of SUENO fall to the mat in pain, as Dutch then gets to his feet, stumbling around a bit, as he then see Andrew had rolled near to the end of the ring, and takes his chance to get him out, as he connects with a basement dropkick to dump him out of the ring!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Dutch then signals Blackwater back up to his feet, as Dutch picks the ailing Felix up to his feet, as Blackwater takes position behind Dutch, as Dutch whips Felix into the ropes, before popping him up into the air, as Blackwater catches Felix’s chest with Double Knees on the way down!
Crowd: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Paisner: I’ve been told this is their improved Drunk Driver! And of fucking course, they have to take The Warlords M.I.A. to mock them! Jesus christ!
D&B then notice Mia stirring again, as Dutch rolls out the ring as the non-legal man, while Blackwater crawls over into the cover! As Mia slowly crawls over to make the count!
1!
2!
3!
Paisner: THESE MOTHERFUCKERS!
DING DING DING
Javier: Ladies and Gentlemen, your winners, at 19:03 via pinfall, The Mark Dutch, Louis Blackwater, D&B!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Blackwater gets off of Felix and sits on his knees, ring crew taking Felix out the ring. As Dutch gets back in the ring slowly holding two microphones, Blackwater’s eyes glazing over a bit before being helped to his feet by Dutch. Blackwater continues to cling onto Dutch as he takes the 2nd microphone from him.
Dutch: In case you people forgot what we told you..
Blackwater then speaks as well.
Blackwater: The only tag team worth looking at today is D&B!
Dutch: You go to New York, you sit down at a pizza parlor and ask the pizza person man “who is the greatest tag team around” and they will answer..
Blackwater: D&B!
Dutch: every single time!
Blackwater: All those tag teams out there, from Ammo Club to The Line, they don’t have shit on us.
Dutch: We come out here week after week..
Blackwater: after week..
Dutch: after week and prove each and every time again why we are where we are today!
Blackwater: And if you disagree, too fucking bad!
Dutch: We are the WiR World Tag Team Champions for a reason!
Blackwater turns to Felix and Andrew behind him, now both on the entrance ramp heading to the back.
Blackwater: These fucks can’t beat us because they don’t have what it take anymore!
Dutch: The Warlords aren’t the champs anymore because they don’t have what it takes anymore either!
Blackwater: So for all those tag teams who think that they’re tough shit, step up your fucking game and come and try to take it!
Dutch: Spoiler alert, you fucking won’t.
Blackwater: They’re not stripping us off the title because we’re just worth too much!
Dutch: FUCK OFF, NASDAQ! WE’RE WORTH MORE THAN YOU’LL EVER BE!
Blackwater: And we will be making a fuckton of money, because we are D..
Dutch: ..&B! So watch your fucking back and wash your dicks before trying to step up..
Blackwater: And failing, because we’ll never let go of the titles! We will end you just like..
Dutch: That.
Both Dutch and Blackwater strike their pose one more time as the crowd boos.
Commercial
The camera cuts to the ring, as the crowd murmurs excitedly, the noise filling the arena with a dull roar. There is a moment of silence, as nobody is quite sure what’s coming up next -
Suddenly, an ambulance siren pierces the air, before falling into high energy punk rock! Brendan Byrne bursts out from behind the curtain, holding a microphone, before raising his arms into the air!
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAY! BREN-DAN BYRNE! BREN-DAN BYRNE!
Paisner: Brendan Byrne is here tonight, and he looks focused!
Woodbridge: Byrne took most of last month off, after his AMUDOV victory left him deeply injured, but he’s here and ready to go!
Brendan walks down the ramp, spinning to take in the whole audience, before raising the microphone to his lips as he walks.
Byrne: How’s everyone doing?
Crowd: YAAAAY!
Brendan chuckles, with a little bit of a smirk on his face, before continuing his walk down the ramp.
Byrne: Alright, so I’ve got a couple things to talk about, but first - have you all seen that bloody main event you’re getting tonight?
Crowd: YAAAAAAY!
Byrne: Anthony Daniel Xavier, Funkatron, Charlie Krieger, fucking HEX, Alex Perilmorde, even like... Eric Matthews I guess, there’s a bunch of fucking great wrestlers that’re going to be in that ring!
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAY! ADX! ADX!/FUNKATRON! FUNKATRON!/CHARLIE KRIEGER! clapclap clapclapclap/WE WANT HEX! WE WANT HEX!
Byrne pauses for a moment as the muddled mix of chants and cheers slowly dies down, continuing his measured walk to the ring. He waits, and as the chants die down, he moves over to a smaller fan in the front row, a kid maybe 14 years old, and drops to a knee, offering the microphone to him..
Byrne: How about you, man? Who do you want to win tonight?
Fan: I... um - ADX!
A moderate section of the crowd cheers, with a few playful booes mixed in, as the kid beams in excitement.
Byrne: ADX, huh? He’s a great wrestler, isn’t he?
The kid nods his approval, and Byrne breaks into a grin.
Byrne: He’s fast, he’s clever, and he’s agile - all good things to have in a battle royal. Now personally, I’m rooting for Sloth -
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAY! LEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTT’SSSSSSS GGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOO SSSSSSSSLLLLLLOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTHHHHH!
Byrne tries desperately to keep himself from laughing at the crowd’s antics, and fails miserably.
Byrne: - I mean the zWo has to stick together, right?
At this point Byrne walks up the steel steps, and into the ring, turning to look at the audience.
Byrne: That being said, there’s another reason that I’m out here tonight - and to me it’s a little bit more serious than this battle royal tonight. You see, regardless of who wins here tonight, and regardless of who brings the title home for their WiR Present - sorry, that was cheesy -
Crowd: BOOOOOO!!!
Byrne: I know, I know! Either way, next month I’m going to be facing them at SSDY.
Crowd: YAAAAAAY!
Byrne: But - I’ve got something on my mind. You see, I’ve not had many title opportunities in my time here at WiR - wrong place, wrong time, people attacking champions, booking politics, you know how it is. Someone else was always the next big star, or just forced their way onto the scene. It’s how this business works - If you want to get your hands dirty, you get things, and vice versa.
Crowd: BOOOOOO!!
Byrne: Eh, I can’t really fault them - it’s incentivized. You blindside the champion enough, and they’re honor bound to fight you. If they’re going to fight you, why not convince the booker to put the title on the line, right?
Brendan shrugs
Byrne: So, if I’m going to do this, finally get a one on one shot that’s worth anything, I might as well do it right. You see, whoever’s champ in a month - I’ll get to that. That’s not important right now. What is important, is that I’ve had one title match in my entire career as a WiR competitor - AMUDOV one year ago. And despite how everything went down, I honestly believe I had that match won.
Crowd: FUCK YOU DUTCH! FUCK YOU DUTCH!
Byrne: Yeah, sure - whatever. He took an opportunity and he ran with it. That’s not the real problem here. The real problem is the reason he won it.
Crowd: ... FUCK THE STRAYS! FUCK THE STRAYS!
Byrne: There we go! That’s something I can agree with. And for the most part, the Strays are dead. Ro’s probably partying across all of bloody Europe with Vic Studd - Carl Jones left to find somewhere where everyone will constantly suck his dick - Logan Lee... Well, he’s collecting unemployment.
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAY!
Byrne: But that leaves one more of them - and the one I personally despise the most. You see, Kyle Scott has been missing ever since AMUDOV - and I don’t trust that one single bit. You see, Kyle’s a bloody cunt - but he’s clever. And he came back with a plan. Kruschev might have stopped him from doing whatever he wanted with me - shudder Bloody hell, phrasing.
Byrne steps backwards, obviously a bit troubled by what he’s saying, but shakes it off, pushing forwards, his words almost tumbling out of his mouth.
Byrne: Anyway - He’s gone, but he’s coming back, and given that he seems to want to ruin everything I’ve ever achieved, I bet I know exactly when he wants to come back.
Crowd: BOOOO!
Byrne: So, let’s get this over with. Kyle Scott. We’ve had years of differences. I came here because I wanted to prove that what happened back in London 4 years ago wasn’t a fluke. I haven’t gotten that chance yet. So how about you come out here and we can settle this once and for all.
Crowd: FUCK YOU KYLE/FEEL THE BYRNE!
Silence.
Byrne: Thought so. Well, this is a warning then. Kyle? This month I’m looking for you, and I will find you - because I will not allow you to ruin this for me again.
Crowd: YAAAAAAY!
Brendan drops the microphone, and starts to step between the ropes - only to get blindsided by Ernesto Vargas, who slides out from under the ring and catches him with a snappy pele kick!
Paisner: OH MY GOD!
Woodbridge: Ernesto Vargas, we haven’t seen him in months! And there’s Viktor Ivanov!
Crowd: BOOOOOO!
Byrne staggers backwards, and Ivanov slides into the ring, grabbing him and hooking him up with a half and half suplex, sending him head-first into the ground! Both members of the Red Army slide into the ring and start putting the boots to Byrne, as a rather familiar theme plays. Kyle Scott steps out from behind the curtain, slowly and assuredly, holding a microphone in his right hand, and strolling down the ramp!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Paisner: It’s Kyle Scott! He’s back!
Woodbridge: Byrne’s got to be hating himself for this call-out now!
Byrne rolls over onto his stomach, and slowly starts fighting onto his hands and knees, covering up from the assault, and Ivanov hooks his arms around Byrne’s waist, heaving him up into the air and driving him head-first into the ground! Byrne hits the mat hard, and instinctively rolls out of the ring, right at Kyle’s feet.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Paisner: KARELIN LIFT! RIGHT ONTO HIS HEAD!
Woodbridge: Byrne’s lucky if his neck isn’t broken with that!
Kyle kicks Byrne in the side of the head, and raises the microphone to his lips.
Kyle: Brendan, come on. You’re so self-centered. Not everything is about you.
Crowd: BOOOOO!
Kyle: You did very well as a machine, you know - at least then I didn’t have to listen to your mindless bloody drivel every week. You go on and on about how much you’ve been screwed over and screwed out of title opportunities and important matches. Newsflash: You haven’t! You’ve shown up, week in and week out, and not been good enough.
Crowd: FUCK YOU KYLE! clap clap clapclapclap
Kyle spreads his arms wide, soaking up the hatred.
Kyle: Don’t you see, Brendan? I wasn’t trying to ruin you - I wasn’t trying to break you. I was trying to save you! Brendan Byrne is nothing - he comes out here, postures to the fans, and tries desperately for a title he isn’t good enough for! I gave you a purpose, Brendan. I set you on the path of the people, and you threw it away for some twisted chance at glory.
Kyle smirks and kicks Byrne in the side of the head again.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOO!
Kyle: You see, I don’t care whether you achieve your meaningless glory or not, Brendan. You’ve already given up your chance at true immortality - you’ve already thrown away your chance to write your name next to Marx and Lenin and Trotsky in the annals of history.
Crowd: FUCK THE COMMIES! clap clap clapclapclap
Kyle drops to a knee, looking at Byrne with a strange mix of disdain and disinterest.
Kyle: So, Byrne - I’m not here to ruin you. I don’t care about you. You are one of the many who cannot be saved. Comrades!
Kyle claps his hands, and Ivanov and Vargas step out of the ring, flanking him as the trio walk up the ramp, showered by booes.
Paisner: I... Kyle Scott is back, and he’s - given up on Byrne? After attacking him?.
Woodbridge: Kyle’s insane
Paisner: We know that. But even so, this doesn’t make sense. Let’s - um - fade out for a bit?
The lights then turn off as if on cue, as we see vague shadows of ring crew helping the hurt Byrne to the back, getting him there, as then soon after, the lights come back on. Where we then hear Rise From The Ashes by STRIA plays over the speakers, as we see Robert Warlock walk out from behind the curtain, dressed in an old years old design for a hoodie of his, wearing it as a normal jacket with the hood down. While also dressed in his normal wrestling tights. He pauses at the top of the entranceway, looking to hesitate for a moment, before he begins to walk down.
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Warlock points out to the crowd, and slaps a few hands as he walks down, but general has a more serious expression on his face, seeming ready to talk.
Paisner: And Robert Warlock coming down here to the ring, figure this has to be related to his comments to Romero after their loss in the We Quit match vs D&B at Copyright Strike. That he'd need some time alone to think about things, how they can continue on after such a heartbreaking loss for them. He said he'd have a lot to talk about, and with the look on his face, it seems he indeed does. I just wonder what those thoughts could be..
Warlock gets to the apron, as he quickly slides into the ring, where he calls over Maurice, who comes in and hands him a mic, before Maurice quickly gets back out, and Warlock begins to speak.
Warlock: Hello Reading!
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Warlock: Thank you! Now, i'm sure after i've isolated myself for a while, that some have been wondering what exactly I did during all that time, and well.....not a whole too much really, it was a week of getting lost in my thoughts, future ideas, plans of how to come back better, how to regain the trust of everyone after going back on my word to not quit....and to regain the trust in myself. And after hours of looking through old photobooks, watching old and recent matches of Mine and Steve's. Or just staring up the ceiling reflecting on all of it. trying to learn from all of it, to reach some kind of conclusion of what I could do, what me and Steve could do to come back better, and eventually, I think I found the solution. So, for the first time since our loss at Copyright Strike, i'd like to invite Steve to come to this ring and speak to me, I have some important thoughts for him.
Warlock then signals for Romero to come out, as he waits in the ring for a few seconds, looking out into the entranceway, before...
Misunderstood by D.R.A.M. then blasts over the speakers, as we see Romero slowly walk out from behind the curtain clad in a Warlord's Shirt, and his wrestling tights. As he seems to have the same hesitation Warlock showed walking down, seemingly worried over what Warlock could say, as he looks into Warlock from a distance.
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Paisner: And now, Romero comes down to the ring, and despite his long standing friendship and tag team with Warlock, with Warlock specifically asking him not to contact him, he has as little clue what Warlock has planned as anyone else. Hopefully for him it's good news, because he didn't seem to take the isolation well.
Romero eventually walks down to the ring, getting down there at a solid pace, and grabbing a mic from Maurice as he nears the ring apron. He then stands up onto the ring apron, and steps over the ropes.
Romero: Alright....as for me I don't think I have much to say. Didn't have much time to think, wasn't in the mood to do so, I think it was harder for me to take the separation than you. So, I don't much more, just tell me what you need to tell me man.
The two men look at each other, both pausing for a moment, before Warlock lifts his mic up to speak further, as he paces around a bit as well
Warlock: We've had quite the journey haven't we?...Done a lot in our time. Won the tag team titles in our first IPPV match as a tag team, and in that reign, became the first WiR Tag Team Champions to have more than 2 successful defenses of that title. The single most successful tag title reign back then! On top of the damn world, as the best in it!
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
We see a smile form on Romero's face looking back on all that, while Warlock continues to talk.
Warlock: But......while we'd have some hard times following that, losing those titles, losing to Leaping Explosive Harpies, going to a north korean island and nearly getting nuked, we persevered through all of that and stuck together. And we kept growing as team and as people, taking out The Strays and CJ more times than I can fucking count! And then well....we had some of the performances of our damn lives, we took on BBC, 2/3 falls, the longest title reign of any title here in WiR, 252 days! And through thick and thin, through all the bullshit they would try and pull off back then, WE ENDED IT! Tapped them out, and shook the arena that night! It was an even better day than our first tag title win, 'cause not only did we win the titles, we took them off people that spoiled it's reputation!
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
We see Romero full on laughing gleefully at the memories, as Warlock goes on.
Warlock: And we'd only continue to fight and fight! Taking on D&B, both facing a completely different B than we expected the first time around, and coming back from their attack on us before the match, and defeating them despite the odds!...now....we didn't have the best luck against them from there on out...and well, obviously there's some stuff i'm not proud of there. But still, even in defeat we were still having some of the most acclaimed tag matches this company has ever seen, and did the only damn thing i'm proud of about our We Quit match vs them.....that we finally got the Tag Team Titles a main event! That we finally got those titles their due after all the blood, sweat, and tears we had put in!
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Both men smile at that fact, pushing aside their frustrations with the match itself, and taking in that accomplishment, as Warlock continues.
Paisner: And Warlock putting in perspective the massive amount of success these two have seen, and the reminder of all that seems to have lightened both men up!
Warlock: So yeah, we've done quite a lot in our time haven't we?
Romero smiles, as he nods, talking himself.
Romero: We sure as hell have! And I think, I think there are lanes to go where we can do even more together! To re-build ourselves again!
Warlock: Well....
Romero: What?
Warlock: No.
All of a sudden, the crowd quiets down to a murmur, the commentary team in the background looking at each other confused. As Warlock is back to a completely serious face, while Romero looks confused and concerned.
Romero: Well.....what do you mean by that?
Warlock: What I mean, is that after a certain amount of time, after doing a certain amount of things......you begin to run out of places to go, all that's left is to unrewardingly repeat your previous cycles over and over.......to not have room to broader your horizons, to try new things....since what is there to try when you've done it all?....So I guess what i'm saying is.....it's time we head our separate ways.
Crowd: Collective Gasp
Paisner: W-what....n-no! He can't-he can't be-
The crowd falls into a state of shock, Warlock looking as if he had to force himself to utter those words. While Romero's confusion turns quickly into a shocked sadness, looking to the ground, taken aback by what he just heard, as with his face and hands both quivering, he lifts his mic up to his mouth, and says.
Romero: N---no, no! Come on! You can't be serious man! We've done this 2 years! What's just a little longer to us?!
Warlock: Sigh Listen.......I know it's hard to let go, I didn't come to this decision easily myself, those were some hard words for me to say with all we've been through together......But as a team, we no longer have anywhere to go, so it's on this day, I think it's best for both of us to end it.
Romero: I......I understand.
Woodbridge: 2 years.....and now....it ends.
We see several fans in the crowd, particularly ones clad in Warlord's shirts nearly to the point of tears, as Romero himself looks completely dejected, as he turns away, about to exit the ring, before Warlock shouts-
Warlock: WAIT!
Romero then turns back around, stopping in his tracks, looking into Warlock's eyes, as Warlock speaks.
Warlock: I'm not done yet......because we are not done yet
Paisner: W-what could he mean by this?
Romero's eyes are locked, awaiting for Warlock to elaborate, as Warlock proceeds to do so.
Warlock: You may notice....our next major show, WiR Presents, a little jolly christmas show we're having.....quite a bit like the one we fought, and formed at 2 years ago! And it is there, I propose, we answer the question people always have about tag teams....who's the better man?
Crowd: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Romero raises his eyebrows, his interest peaked, as Warlock continues to talk.
Warlock: We're one and one against each other, I beat you there two years ago, and you beat me in that strange japanese tournament thing. So at WiR Presents! Our christmas show! Where it all began two years ago......is where it all will end! When one of us prevails, and proves ourselves the better man!
Crowd: YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
The crowds sadness over the break-up quickly transforms into an excitement over the possibility of a Warlock-Romero match, as even Romero cracks a bit a smile, Warlock returning an eager smile himself, as Romero lifts his mic up, and says-
Romero: You're on.
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
The two men stare off in the ring for a moment, a new found competitiveness in their eyes, before Romero waves goodbye, as he heads out the ring.
Paisner: By god what events just unfolded! First the break-up of the team, and now both men will re-start their singles careers by facing eachother at WiR Presents! By god what a barnburner that should be!
Romero head back up the entranceway, taking in the excitement of the fans, as Warlock does the same in the ring, as Romero gets to the top of if the entrance, and takes one more look back into the ring, as Warlock and Romero meet eyes one last time, yelling out stuff at each other, before Romero heads through the curtain, and we fade out.
We cut to the scene of former WiR Champion Eric Appelbaum, standing backstage alongside interviewer Chad Hammocks. Hammocks has a mic in hand, ready to conduct an interview.
Hammocks: Ladies and Gentlemen, at this time, please welcome my guest, Eric Appelbaum.
The camera pans over to Appelbaum, as we hear the crowd watching on the video screen cheer.
Hammocks: Eric, at Copyright Strike, you were unsuccessful at retaining the WiR World Championship, how does this loss make you feel as a compe-
Suddenly, Hammocks and the interview is interrupted by Eric Matthews, who barges into the scene with a cocky grin on his face.
Matthews: How does it make him feel? Why are you asking HIM that, Hammocks? Why are you conducting an interview with a LOSER like Appelbaum?
We see Appelbaum look at Matthews, looking pissed off at his brash attitude.
Matthews: Chad, you should be interviewing a WINNER, like ME! I beat Maverick’s ASS at Copyright Strike! While Eric Applesauce right here can’t even beat Joey McCarty! Hahahahaha!
Appelbaum: Matthews, have you nothing better to do than come over here and taunt me? Cause if you wanna chat…
Appelbaum starts rolling up his sleeves and cracking his knuckles.
Appelbaum: I’d be more than happy to “chat.”
Matthews: Take it easy, Appelbaum. I’m just here to remind you of your inferiority, is all.
Matthews starts taking a few steps back, with his eyes on Appelbaum as he walks away.
Matthews: Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a Battle Royal to win, and WHEN I win it, I WILL beat Joey and take that WiR World Title.
Matthews smiles cockily, and turns his back to Appelbaum and walks away.
Appelbaum:....fuckin prick…..
We see Appelbaum walk the other way, as we fade away
Commercial
We cut back to the ring, where we see Charlie Krieger, Funkatron, Barron Blade, Eric Matthews, Alex Perilmorde, Kristi Slater, Scotty Apocalypse, Anthony Daniel Xavier, and Hex all standing in the ring, eyeing up one-another like chunks of meat.
Javier: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following is a 10 Man Battle Royale, for the number one contendership at the WiR World Championship!
Crowd: Wooooooo!
Paisner: We gave you guys some mercy and let these competitors enter the ring during our commercial break, but lets dig right into this match, Mark: not a single one of the competitors in the ring has ever won a singles title in WiR. For one man or woman, this will be the opportunity of a lifetime.
Woodbridge: But wait, Allen: I'm only counting 9 heads in the ring... are we missing someone?
Paisner: Mark, take a look at the entrance ramp.
On the ramp, we see none other than El Hijo Del Sloth, making his painfully slow entrance. Javier doesn't even both to introduce him, instead handing off his microphone to a ringside assistant, before walking away.
Crowd: W O O O O O ! L E T S G O S L O T H ! L E T S G O S L O T H !
Paisner: We don't have to go slow-mo too, do we?
Woodbridge: I don't get paid enough for that shit.
Sloth continues his ever slow shuffle to the ring, and he is eventually, after several minutes, able to get onto the ring apron. Tai Ni Wong, as bored as the rest, chooses to ring the bell far before Sloth is fully in the ring and ready to compete.
DING DING DING
Crowd: Woooooo!
Without a moments hesitation, none other than Eric Matthews sprints towards Sloth, and nails him right across the chest with a lariat! El Hijo Del Sloth flips over the rope and right back outside the ring!
Crowd: Booooooooo!
El Hijo Del Sloth has been eliminated at a time of 00:20!
Paisner: ....Dammit.
Woodbridge: But did you really expect anything else?
The other eight men can only watch as Eric turns around, smirking at his accomplishment. However, none of them look pleased in the slightest.
Woodbridge: Well clearly, none of these guys wanted to see Sloth out so early either!
Paisner: He's a WiR icon, Mark.
Barron Blade, of all people, is the first to step to Matthews! He approaches without caution, and gets right in Matthews face. Eric doesn't flinch in the slightest, and when Blade begins to cock his arm back, Matthews suddenly snaps him right in the jaw with an Uppercut!
Crowd: Oooh!
Blade stumbles backwards, right into the arms of Funkatron! He grabs Blade from behind and quickly pushes him back out with a wrist-clutch Clothesline!
Crowd: Yeaaahhh!
Paisner: OOGIE-BOOGIE!
The impact of the strike is tremendous, so strong that it sends Blade flying backwards and right over the top rope! He hits the mat hard, and the crowd roars in enjoyment!
Barron Blade has been eliminated at a time of 01:03!
Woodbridge: He's outta there!
And with the second elimination, the combatants suddenly kick off and begin to brawl with one another! Kristi Slater starts battering Scotty Apocalypse, as Charlie Krieger, with tears in his eye, squares off against Funkatron. On the other side of the ring, WiR veteran Hex shows his skills against Alex Perilmorde, chopping him hard across the chest. As everyone else duels, Eric Matthews and Scotty Apocalypse lock eyes across the ring from one another, before Apocalypse gives a "try me!" gesture to Matthews!
Crowd: Ooooohh!
Paisner: This is a bold play by Scotty!
Woodbridge: He hasn't found the immediate success he's been hoping for thus far in WiR, and now it looks like he's going to try and really make a name for himself!
Matthews rushes Xavier, and the two lock up in the center of the ring, surrounded by the six other brawling men. Anthony manages to catch Matthews in a Headlock, but just as quickly, Matthews falls backwards, slamming Xavier down to the canvas with a Saito Suplex!
Crowd: BOOOOOOO!
Eric quickly slides back up to his feet and begins madly stomping on Xavier! It seems as if no one will come to Anthony's aid, until suddenly we see Charlie Krieger appear behind Matthews! With his Anthony Xavier T-Shirt, he drapes it over Eric's face and uses it to pull him away from the rookie, before getting a hold on Matthews and driving him into the turnbuckle corner!
Paisner: I think Charlie's hoping for an autograph!
Woodbridge: If there's one thing he is, it's definitely a wildcard.
Meanwhile, Hex is seen barely avoiding Perilmorde's hard and lightning fast fists. He manages to bob underneath a right hook and get behind Alex, before jumping up and grabbing Perilmorde by the skull, wrenching him downwards with a Neckbreaker!
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOO! HEX! HEX! HEX! HEX!
With Perilmorde down, Hex then turn his attention to the Kristi-Scotty brawl. He runs at the two, which gets both of their attention, and then turn around right into a Double Clothesline from Hex!
Crowd: YEEAAAAHHH!
Paisner: Hex is on a quite unexpected roll!
Woodbridge: Maybe he DOES still have it, Allen!
Hex turns again, and sees that, in the turnbuckle corner, Eric Matthews has turned on Krieger and is pounding away on his opponent, switching between fists, kicks, and elbows. Hex hustles over to the two, and grabs Matthews by the shoulder, throwing him away from Charlie. Hex doesn't let up, however, and lunges at Eric, grabbing him by the wrist and Irish Whipping him into the ropes!
Crowd: Oooh...
But as Eric hits the ropes, he hangs on with both arms and manages to prevent himself from flying forwards. Hex, thinking fast, takes the chance and peruses Matthews. He attempts to lariat him right out of the ring, but Eric delivers a quick midsection kick beforehand, stunning Hex. He then kicks upwards, and the tip of his boot connects right in Hex's jaw! He then attempts a -
Superkick! Krieger nails a beautiful kick onto Matthews and it sends him over the top rope onto the ring apron!
Crowd: YEAAAAAH!
Paisner: HE'S GONE!
Woodbridge: No, look!
One boot falls off the apron and Matthews teeters ever close to elimination, as Krieger would drop to his knees, leaving things in Hex's hands. He would charge Eric, but right before connecting, Eric would drop to his back on the apron, pulling the top rope down and forcing Hex to fly right over the top!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOO!
Hex has been eliminated at a time of 3:46
Eric then slides back under the rope and into the ring before Krieger can kick him out. However, Charlie does pounce on Matthews nevertheless, and the two continue to battle it out as we see Scotty Apocalypse getting to his feet from behind them. He starts to approach Krieger with ill intent, but he suddenly drops to his knees, and we see the arm of Kristi Slater slamming him in the family jewels!
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHH!
Paisner: God Damn! That's not pretty!
Woodbridge: Apocalypse just can't catch a break when it comes to Kristi and his nards, Allen!
Infront of Scotty we see Funkatron, sizing up Apocalypse. He then charges towards Scotty, and leaps up for a hellacious Boma Ye! But at the last instant, Apocalypse falls face-first into the mat and the knee connects with Kristi Slater!
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!
Paisner: JEESUS!
Funkatron gets back to his feet and surveys the land: Kristi and Scotty are both down on the mat, and both Krieger and Matthews are occupied with one-another. He sees Alex Perilmorde getting to his feet on one side of the ring, and Anthony Daniel Xavier on the other. His eyes meet Xavier's, and directs his attention towards Perilmorde, the two men making a silent alliance.
Woodbridge: Funkatron and Anthony Xavier, an unlikely duo looking to take on Alex Perilmorde here!
Paisner: This isn't going to end well for someone, that's for sure.
Funkatron and Anthony both charge towards Perilmorde. Alex is able to snap off a quick forearm smash that stuns Funkatron, but Xavier strikes with a quick shot to the knee, and Alex falls to a knee. Funkatron then responds with a hellacious Spinning Heel Kick that sends Perilmorde back to the mat!
Crowd: YEEAAAAHH! LET'S GO FUNKY! // A.D.R! // LET'S GO FUNKY! // A.D.R!
With everyone else down, Anthony and Funkatron begin to circle one-another in the center of the ring. They get closer and closer to throwing fists, until suddenly: Kristi Slater spins Anthony around, just as Scotty Apocalypse does the same to Funkatron! They start laying into the two men, with Scotty able to get a quick advantage over Funkatron.
Crowd: OOOH! OOOOH! OOOOOOOOH!
Kristi, however, wouldn't be as fortunate. She would attempt a step-up Enzuiguri, but a quick sidestep would allow Xavier to avoid the kick. Kristi would hit the canvas stomach-first, and Xaiver wouldn't waste a second in grabbing her in a Full Nelson! He pulls her to her feet, Kristi struggling in pain from the hold.
On the other side of the ring, Funkatron would duck underneath a Forearm, and would nail Scotty with a lightning fast punch to the liver. Scotty is winded by the strike, and Funkatron quickly grabs him by the arm, preparing to Irish Whip his opponent!
Woodbridge: Wait, what's this?
Paisner: Woah, woah! Unexpected!
Funkatron releases the Irish Whip and sends Apocalypse flying towards Xavier. However, Anthony lets go of his Full Nelson and dodges out of the way, as Scotty crashes into Kristi! She is sent flying into the ropes, and Xavier quickly capitalizes, grabbing Slater by the legs and throwing her over the ropes and out to her elimination!
Crowd: Woaaaahhh!
Woodbridge: Kristi is gone! Only six remain!
Kristi Slater has been eliminated at a time of 7:01
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[Table] IAmA: I am Hank Azaria – actor, Simpsons voice guy & Determined to Succeed supporter. AMA.

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Date: 2013-04-24
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Questions Answers
What's yor favorite episode? What's your favorite recording moment? Favorite non-Simpsons television show? Favorite joke on the Simpsons? Long time fan! Edit: eeehuggraa. Favorite episode is cape feare. - favorite recording moment was being moe with mick jagger - hard to pick, i loved the honeymooners, the odd couple, all in the family, deadwood, star trek (the original and tng) - favorite joke is from cape feare, when sideshow bob kept stepping on the rakes.
Hank! Thanks for the AMA. I fall asleep to the Simpsons, and have been every night for the past 5 years. How does it feel to know that there are people like me out there that seriously can't fall asleep without you talking? Why should you be any different than my wife?
When voicing a character for the first time, how much input do you get for how they will sound? How do you decide how they sound? That's a good question. early on, i would really spend hours trying different voices out loud for different characters. then over the years i got quicker and quicker at just instinctively assigning a voice to a character. if i'm really not sure, i'll ask the writer how he hears it, who it sounds like to them, etc. sometimes they'll tell you in the stage direction "should sound like robert stack" or whatever. and then, if they don't like what i'm doing, they're not shy and they'll tell me and we'll adjust it.
Are you allowed to use the voices in interviews or in public etc, or are they "copyrighted" or subject to some contractual terms where you can't use them? I can definitely use them in public on talk shows and appearances, etc. i can't go on another show as moe or apu doing scripted stuff, getting animated, unless we get approval from 99 lawyers which we will never get.
Thanks for the reply! Just wanted to let you know your contribution to the show will go down in history. I like to think you'll be remembered as the Mel Blanc of our generation. You may need to murder Billy West to get there, but I've no doubt in your abilities. I have actually taken out a contract on the life of billy west, so it's funny you said that.
Hi Hank! I've been a fan of yours ever since you were walking Murray on Mad About You. I've never heard of Determined to Succeed. What is it, and why should I support it? DTS is a local LA educational non profit. We take at-risk socio-economically challenged kids in 6th grade who show a willingness to learn and are quite literally Determined to Succeed. we mentor and tutor them through junior high and high school, help keep them off the streets and out of gangs in the summertime, and help them with their college admissions. our first group of students had 100% college acceptance rate. You can help by donating to my Birthday Wish: Link to www.causes.com
Are you really as nice as you seem? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
Loved you in Run Fat Boy, Run. How was it working with Simon Pegg? Simon Pegg is literally my hero. He is absolutely as sweet and hilarious in person as he is on screen. and i really admire his creativity in front of and behind the camera.
Is it true that in the locker room scene you didn't use one of the skin patches to cover up just to get a reaction of pure shock from Simon? How could anyone possibly keep a straight face during shooting if that's the case?! That is true. be careful how you use the term "straight" face.
If you ever became a cop, how often do you think you'd be doing wiggums voice when pulling people over? Probably a lot. it would probably either get me killed or save my life.
Hey hank! Thanks for doing this AMA! I was wondering at what age did you realize your vocal talents? Also, what was it like to be phoebes boyfriend on friends? Thanks again! P.S. Happy birthday! I was mimicking things as early as i can remember. i thought everyone could do it. i didn't realize it was a special skill until i was about 10 or 12. it was fun being on the friends set. it was sort of like seeing some weird 90s version of beatlemania. thanks!
How did you get into voice acting? Was it a chance meeting, or simply sending a demo tape? Edit: my daughter loved you as Gargamel in the Smurfs. It was a chance meeting. i very early in my career did the voice of a cartoon dog called Hollywood Dog for a Fox pilot that failed miserably but i got the audition for the simpsons based on that. and the rest is history.
Thank you Mr. Azaria for doing this AMA! In the Simpsons, there was an episode where Moe pulled a shotgun on Homer for Homer's $600 pants, and Moe said, "Yeah, I rob now." I believe it was a DVD commentary where it was mentioned you had reservations about Moe doing and saying this. As the seasons have continued, do you feel there are still things that are too extreme for Moe? Or has it progressed to a point where you'll let anything go? I'm surprised i expressed any reservation at that. it's an interesting question because you don't want to commit "character assassination" and do something you feel your character would never do; however, a lot of the fun of Moe and many of the simpsons characters is that over time they get more and more outrageous. i think as long as it's funny it's ok.
Agador Sparticus, how much of that character was your creation? That role was originally not supposed to be latin. once they decided to make him spanish, they pretty much let me transpose the dialogue into "guatemalan-ness," for lack of a better term. most of that dialogue was scripted. we rehearsed very intensely for two weeks and all the adlibs that mike nichols and elaine may liked got put in the script, and then we were encouraged to stick to those when we were shooting. i managed to sneak in a few weird touches though like saying "come on, gloria" when i picked up my boombox and things like that.
Hi Hank, thanks for this. Are there any roles you been in the running for but missed out on? I desperately wanted to be joey on friends and even auditioned twice for it after they had already rejected me once.
Are you going to be in the new Godzilla movie? Seeing as the first one very nearly killed my career, i would say no.
Have you ever seen Dan Castellaneta choke Nancy Cartwright on set to get the sound effect right? I have never witnessed it, but there is a lot of circumstantial evidence to prove that it has happened.
Any great Robin Williams or Nathan Lane stories from filming The Birdcage? Thanks for doing this! Everyone knows how witty and spontaneous robin is and he was certainly hilarious during the birdcage. not many people know just how clever nathan lane is off the top of his head. the two of them together was truly like watching some amazing comedy team that had worked together for years. robin is also one of the kindest, most genuine actors i've ever worked with. and when he's not making everyone laugh, he genuinely listens to people and cares about them and takes the time to get to know everyone. mostly i remember fighting not to laugh during takes and ruining the movie. i didn't want to leave the set even when i was done working because it was so funny all the time, on camera and off.
How do you feel about Seth MacFarlane? I'm a tremendous fan of seth macfarlane. both his vocal work and his writing. i'd look up to him if he wasn't so much younger than me. damn him.
Who is your favorite Simpsons character you voice over? Also, who is your favorite Simpsons character you don't voice over? Professor Frink.
That changes over the years. I've loved Ralph Wiggum, Kent Brockman, Krusty the Klown and I get a huge kick out of Cookie Kwan.
When you first started the Simpsons did you think it would take off like it did? Did you find yourself laughing at the jokes while doing their voices or more so after watching the finished episode? No one could have ever predicted the success of the simpsons. anyone who says they did, is lying. we laughed a lot making the show and still do. i often have to run away from the mic so as not to ruin takes by giggling like an idiot.
What was the absolute best parts of working on Mystery Men? One of my favorite movies, btw. That was a surprisingly difficult and not that fun movie to make. i loved hanging around with ben, janeane and bill, but we should have had more fun than we did making that movie. i'm much more fond of it now than i was at the time.
Hank, which Simpsons character would you say closely reflects your true personality? (Ten bucks Professor Frink) That's a really interesting question that i've never been asked before. i would say i'm a cross between carl and comic book guy.
Hi Hank; thanks for doing this AMA! I'm a lifelong Simpson's fan and still watch every episode as soon as I can. Who is your favorite character to voice? Are any of your characters just your 'regular' voice? Do people recognize your voice if you're out in public? My favorite character to voice is Professor Frink just because I enjoy how silly it sounds. they really have to stop me from doing it once I get started. I just want to do more and more takes that get sillier and sillier. no running characters are my regular voice but i use my regular voice a lot in the show, mostly for straight man voices. people don't usually recognize my voice in public unless i'm running around screaming like moe or ordering a coffee as apu, which I don't.
Can I get an all-syrup Super Squishy? If you sign a waiver releasing me from any responsibility for any medical consequences.
Hi, Hank! Have you ever gotten your own jokes included in the show? Yes, many times. i'll always do 2 takes exactly as written and then i start to play around and they use what they like in editing.
Which of the other voice actors is the best cuddler? My money is on Dan Castellaneta. I haven't cuddled with anyone. i've only made out with matt groening, but that was just that one time.
What's the scoop on "Herman's head" Are they ever going to bring it back?? I'm always a little surprised that people liked that show. i guess it was fun, and i certainly loved making it and learned a lot, and was grateful for the job, and loved all the people involved with it...but to be honest, the show was never my cup of tea. i feel bad saying that because i'm glad you liked it, but it is the truth.
How's Minsk? Cold. lonely. also i've never been.
Hi Hank! Which of the Simpsons characters voiced by your fellow cast do you most wish you had been given to act? This is a good question because there are times when, especially with celebrity impressions, i'll feel like they made a mistake assigning it to somebody else. harry, dan and i all do a lot of impressions and it kind of broke my heart that i didn't get to do johnny carson and woody allen. and count dracula, for some odd reason. that said, harry's and dan's versions are brilliant.
Then there are times that i get assigned ones that i feel harry or dan would do better than i would. like they gave me yogi bear, but my yogi bear sucks so dan ended up doing it.
Has Matt Groening ever offered you a guest spot on Futurama? I have done a guest spot. I was zoidberg's uncle harold zoid.
Outstanding work! Big fan. Do you find it hard to keep all the voices separated? Do you find yourself 'in-between' voices sometimes? No, that has never come up. i think you can either do this or you can't, so for me it's kind of the easiest thing in the world to do. but if you can't do it, it's impossible.
What is one role you wish you got at the time, but looking back glad you didn't? Almost every role that you lose out on, especially early in your career, you're kind of devastated by. my ex-wife once, when i was particularly heartbroken over a role i lost, took me by hand to the video store (when they still existed) and pointed out how many roles in many many different movies she didn't get that she was sure, at the time, would have made her a huge star. and i swear that 99% of those movies and roles were all silly, and major disappointments. after that, i really put that kind of thing in perspective and didn't worry about it too much.
Why is Moe's voice so different now from how it was in the 1990s? Link for reference. That's very observant and correct. partially it's because my voice has gotten deeper over the years as the character became more real and gained more layers and depth, i felt it should be less squeaky and more "human sounding." i didn't notice it was happening while it was happening, but i prefer the current moe voice. which do you like?
Im a huge fan of the show Huff. Was that your favorite role? and also why did it end only after 2 seasons? It was not my favorite role, although i loved the show. it was a very difficult role to play because it was so emotionally wrenching all the time. also i felt like all the other characters in the show were so colorful, and i was mostly just listening to them and reacting to their insanity. it ended because the ratings weren't great and les moonves took over showtime and i don't think he liked the show.
Hi Hank. I know you like to play poker, do you come to Vegas to play often? Or do you normally just play at celebrity tournaments and the like? If you do come to Vegas to play, whats your favorite poker room? I have hosted a weekly game at my house for many years now. mostly with the same 20 or 30 guys who come in and out. i play more cash game than tournament poker. i've played in vegas often over the years. i like the room at the wynn and the venetian, but pretty much any poker table in any room makes me happy.
Do you ever crank call people in Moe's voice? That's a really good idea. what's your number?
I know Dan has written a few episodes of "The Simpsons." Do you have any interest in writing an episode before it's all over? I think if it hasn't happened by now, it probably will not. on occasion, i sit in on the writers' session and pitch jokes, but mostly i prefer to do that as i'm recording. they do such an unbelievable job on the show, that i feel i really can't improve upon it. so i focus my writing elsewhere.
Do you think you'll actually look like Rip Torn in your old age? I'll probably sound like him. that question made me giggle.
Is Friends the only time you and Paul Rudd fought over a girl? No, if by "girl" you mean "donut at the craft service table." that's right, paul and i call donuts "girls."
Hank, how much do you make, roughly, per episode of the simpsons? Love your work, thanks for the AMA. I actually don't mind answering this question, but i probably shouldn't answer this question for legal and other reasons.
That said, you can probably google a pretty close approximation of what we all make...
How do you feel the quality of the simpsons has gone from the the beginning of the show to now? do you think the jokes got better or worse? if they got worse, when do you think that the show went downhill? also im a huge fan of yours. Mostly i'm too close to the show and love doing it so much to have an objective opinion. i do what i've always done, which is show up and enjoy making what they've written come to life. the show still really makes me laugh. i've certainly seen online over the years, and elsewhere, people criticizing the show. it reminds me of the beatles anthology. there's this section where people are talking about how the white album isn't so good...that it was too long and that a lot of the tracks didn't work, and you see various people saying it wasn't up to snuff. and then, they cut to paul mccartney who says "yeah, i've heard people don't like the white album, but i say it's the bloody beatles white album. it's fucking great." that's kind of how i feel about the show.
How was it being Kahmunrah in Night at the Museum 2? Is it easy for you to slip in and out of character when playing roles in movies and TV shows? Any tips on training your voice to play different roles? Again, changing my voices is just really easy for me. it always was, and then year after year of doing the simpsons has made me even more of a savant at that skill. sometimes i think all my talent is just centered in 1 cubic inch in my throat. that said, some voices or accents require a little bit of work especially if i'm trying to do like an authentic french or polish accent etc. once i hit on imitating boris karloff for night at the museum, which started off as a joke by the way, it was certainly easy to remain in that character. then once i have the voice, the physicality tends to follow naturally.
The first film I've seen you in was Along Came Polly & what was it like working with Ben Stiller? Also, who's idea was it to use a French accent? That was about the 3rd or 4th time i had worked with ben. i enjoy him personally and professionally. that role was written to be french...in fact probably 98% of what i say in that movie was scripted even though it seems like it was being made up.
Hey hank! Love your work! I was wondering what is your favorite MOEment? There are so many good ones. Which is your favorite? I really like when he's taking the lie detector test and the thing keeps beeping because he's lying about what he's going to do with his evening.
Is an in character Al Pacino scary? Not if you can control the volume, but otherwise kind of. that scene was shot on our mutual birthday, april 25.
Of all the lines you've read, what's your favorite? It's hard to pick. it would probably be a moe line, but it would be like sophie's choice to single one out.
Hey Hank! My office mate and your friend Myra wants to know if your summers at Camp Towanda really were the happiest times of your life? Thanks for the AMA!! Hi myra! and i would say that yes they were.
How close were you to Phil Hartman and if you could bring back one of his Simpsons Characters who would it be? We recorded with phil many times, and i had many a pleasant chat with phil, but i can't say that i was close to him. it's either lionel hutz or troy mcclure. and it always struck me as hilarious that a man who could pretty much do anything with his voice did the exact same voice for both those characters. i'm sure he did that on purpose.
Hi Hank, What is your exercise regime these days? Is it mostly cardio or weights? I'm on my way to a spin class and I bet you thought I was going to ask a Smurf question ;-) Have a great day tomorrow! It's the same as it's been for many years. i run and lift weights. sometimes i chase smurfs.
Hey Hank, you do such a great job on voice acting. How do you prepare before voice acting? Like when you switch between Moe and Apu? Do you do them on separate days or do you do all in one if they appear in an episode? All in one, my friend. sometimes i even talk to myself as 4 different people. occasionally, i will go through the scene one time as moe, and then on another take do it as apu if they are talking to each other. but usually we just let it rip.
If you could meet any character from the simpsons in real life, who would it be and why? Another good question...i think i'd like to hang out with moe and tell him that everything is going to be alright.
If you could get any celebrity quest star on The Simpsons, who would that be? And if you could quest star in any TV show (physical acting or just voice), what would that show be? It would be cool to have bruce springsteen do the simpsons. i'm really in to game of thrones right now, i wouldn't mind jumping in on that insanity. also love american horror story. i love family guy, but i actually just recorded a voice for that show.
Hi Hank, I'm sure you get this question a lot, but as an aspiring voice actor what is the best way to get auditions? Thank you! (My favorite role of yours was Venom) The best thing to do is to find a good voice teacher. most of them are in new york or la, but they certainly exist elsewhere...and create, with their guidance, an audition reel once you've honed your skills. then, get impossibly and unbelievably lucky. that is my advice.
Your organization is a great thing man. I live in Washington, DC and have many friends who are teachers who would love this and would certainly relate. How did you get involved with it? A woman who worked for me left my employ to become a teacher. then a few years later came to me with the idea and i was in immediately...and it's worked out great.
Hi! Thanks for doing the AMA. What do you consider to be your greatest achievement? This is going to sound sappy, but it is by far the raising of my son.
Are you up for le scooba? No.
Hank you are awesome! How does it feel knowing that you are such an essential part of the greatest animated show in history? I experience it as a tingling in my midsection, and it really is quite an honor and remains tremendously fun to do.
Are you planning on reprising your role as Jim Brockmire for The Rich Eisen Podcast this season? I'm certain i will be back with rich eisen soon, and we are very close on making a funny or die jim brockmire movie as well.
How do you feel preforming the same roles for 25 years? How do you keep it from getting stale after so long? Have you ever turned down a role in something else due to your commitment with The Simpsons, that you later regretted passing up on? One of the amazing things about doing the simpsons is that i can literally record it from anywhere in the world, and have...new york, paris, vienna, czechoslovakia, so i have never had to turn down anything because of my simpsons commitment. i never get tired of doing the show. it remains a true joy.
Your work is unparalleled in the voice acting industry. Other than yourself, who is your favourite voice actor? Simpsons or no? I really only like me. no no, my hero growing up was bugs bunny. then when i learned that was mel blanc, my hero became and remains mel blanc.
One thing that separates The Simpsons from most cartoons is the fact that it has the ability to be both absurd and sentimental. What was your favorite sentimental moment in Simpsons history? I find all the lisa episodes particularly moving. it's hard to pick one.
Greetings! Your performance in The Birdcage is one of my favourite acted anythings ever. Thanks for that, and for the many years of Simpsonian amusement. You're just all-around neato. What's your favourite breakfast food? I eat healthily to an almost annoying degree and i pretty much only eat fruit in the morning.
Who was your favourite celebrity to work with during The Simpsons? We often don't record with the guest stars. i definitely remember laughing really hard hearing mel gibson have to say "glaven!" recording with tom petty, elvis costello, david byrne, mick jagger, and aerosmith really freaked me out. i didn't realize until i met those guys what a rock and roll geek i was. i was amazingly impressed watching steve carrell work.
Huff was one of the best shows on TV (at the time), so my questions is when, when, when if ever will Season 2 come out on DVD? I NEED to know what happens! You can get season 2 on amazon, thanks.
For as long as I can remember, the Simpsons has been a part of my life. It is my favorite show of all time and I can't imagine life without it. How much longer do you see the series going on for? At least another couple of years. and hopefully beyond that.
Will Mystery Men 2 ever get made? One of the most underrated genre comedy gems of our time! If it hasn't happened yet, i would seriously doubt it. plus that movie is a cult favorite but it really didn't make a lot of money.
Actually probably the simplest question, how does one correctly pronounce your last name? Is is Eh-zaria or Ah-zaria, or strictly just confined to regional preference? It's uh-ZAIR-ea.
What's on your iPod right now? If the world were about to end in two hours, what would be your last meal? I'm a classic rock guy, so everything you'd imagine that would be on that playlist is on it. also a lot of the music from the 80s that i hated at the time i now have tremendous nostalgic affection for because it brings back so many good memories. god, i eat so healthy that there is so much to choose from for my last meal from cheeseburgers to pizza to fettuccine alfredo. these are all meals i dream about quite literally.
What was your experience like working on Shattered Glass? Did you ever meet Stephen Glass? I never did meet stephen glass. i really loved working on that movie. billy ray is a great writer and a passionate filmmaker. i really enjoyed playing a role so low-key and interesting in a movie that was so fascinating. i don't get to do it that much.
You've done a lot of neat stuff in your career. Anything you haven't done that you'd like to do? Tons. i think that my hero is johnny depp or maybe robert downey jr. i really admire what amazing character actors these guys are. not to mention that they are giant movie stars. i would love to be able to be in the center of movies like these guys are. that said, i love being a supporting actor in films and love doing voice work, but it's always great to have a goal and to shoot for it.
If you weren't already married, would you consider being THE Bachelor? Absolutely not, but i would try to live out some real life version if i could.
Hi Hank! Thanks for doing this, you consistently provided some of the funniest characters and lines on the Simpsons for years...Do you have a favorite line that would be your "go to" to tell your grandkids one day? I'm sure the show will still be running in syndication then, so i'll let them decide. mostly i'll be saying "you see that yellow guy? that was me!"
I saw you in The Farnsworth Invention and I have to say it was one of my favorite theatrical performances I've seen to date. What was it like to work on that production? I really loved working with jimmi simpson. it's always a genuine privilege to say words that aaron sorkin has written down. i was kind of going through a tough time personally during the run of that play, so it was not as much fun as it should have been...but i loved that show as well.
Happy (early) birthday. Loved you in Shattered Glass. That was a great movie. Tell me about your most awkward encounter with a fan who recognized you. There was a really stoned guy in vegas who shook my hand and wouldn't let it go and kept complimenting my shirt. there was a really creepy guy in manhattan who came up behind me and whispered in my ear, "you think because you're carrying a red backpack that no one will recognize you?" took me a while to shake that one off.
Yes, I'm looking for Hugh Jass, please. Hold on, i'll check.
Hold on, i'll check. Wait a minute, if i ever find you, i'm gonna (insert violent Moe joke here)
Hank, You're the president of six-pack-istan! As i get older, i think i might have to just accept a cabinet post.
Do you actually like Jay Thomas or is it just a tolerance for him. I have fond memories of jay thomas on the radio in new york when i was a lad. i don't know him personally. why, is he intolerable?
Last updated: 2013-04-29 04:59 UTC
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About the Memorial Tournament presented by Nationwide. Hosted annually at Muirfield Village Golf Club in Dublin, Ohio, a suburb of Columbus. The Tournament, founded and hosted by Jack Nicklaus, is conducted each year with three goals in mind: to honor the memory of individuals living and deceased who have distinguished themselves in the game of golf; to showcase the world’s best golfers The Memorial Tournament Tips – Featured Bookmaker: Boylesports are attacking this week’s Memorial Tournament, offering an industry-best 10 places each-way at 1/5 odds, with strong prices to boot. If you haven’t already got a Boylesports account then new customers can access their new customer offer using the link below: Tiger Woods returns to play at this week’s Memorial Tournament – which begins Thursday – at Muirfield Village Golf Club in Dublin, Ohio. This will be the second straight event held at the Jack Nicklaus course, following Collin Morikawa‘s playoff win over Justin Thomas last week in the Workday Charity Open. Below, we rank the top-30 fantasy golf picks for the 2020 Memorial Tournament. In-Play Tips - Read Steve Rawlings' in-play thoughts on the Euram Bank Open on the European Tour and the Memorial Tournament on the PGA Tour and bet with Betfair today Memorable moments the Memorial Tournament. While this week is a new tournament to the PGA Tour schedule, Muirfield Village Golf Club is certainly no stranger. The course has hosted the Memorial Tournament since 1976 when Roger Maltbie beat Hale Irwin in a playoff.. In last year’s Memorial Tournament, Patrick Cantlay captured his second PGA Tour title wining by two strokes from Adam Scott.

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