Sports Betting Tips App - OLBG Mobile Betting App

iPhone 8 3D sensor order tips big Apple bet on AR

iPhone 8 3D sensor order tips big Apple bet on AR submitted by tetrimbath to MVIS [link] [comments]

SOS FOMT - Tips to Know Before Your Play (Spoiler Free )

SOS FOMT - Tips to Know Before Your Play (Spoiler Free )


Starting Your Game
Unlike more recent SoS games, you will not be able to change your character’s face, hair, or skin tone after starting (you can change skin tone when you first start the game but not after), so choose wisely.
You can choose any day for your birthday. It can be on the same day as a festival. If you choose the same birthday as a bachelobachelorette, their birthday will move to an alternate date.

Daily Tasks
Give a gift to the goddess every day! You can give her flowers that you forage. One merchant only unlocks after she receives gifts on 30 different days, so try to get that done quickly.
Attend church confession 1:00 - 4:00 every Monday and Wednesday and on rainy days. I can’t find clear information on how this works, but after you confess you may get a message that you’re forgiven and get a boost to villager or animal relationships, or a reduction in fatigue depending on your confession..
Give gifts to harvest sprites to get them to three hearts which makes them hireable. They all love flour, but each have individual items they like as well.
Watch the cooking channel every Tuesday to start learning recipes. You do NOT need the kitchen to start learning these recipes.
Gift cucumber to kappa daily until you receive the blue power berry.

You can safely walk over your crops in this version of the game.
Unlike recent SoS games, watering crops a second time will not make them grow faster.
There is no fertilizer for crops. Crop rank is based on upgrading your field. You can upgrade it once each year so you cannot get to rank 5 until Y5.
In spring, grow some cucumbers for giving to kappa. You need to give him 10 to get the blue power berry.
There are no winter crops.
You can plant a total of five fruit trees on your farm. You start with one grape tree. You can buy grape, apple, and orange trees. They will be full grown when installed.
You can befriend the Nature Sprite to help you on your farm. Focus on having them tend to your crops, not your animals. If they care for your animals you won’t get the affection increases you get when you do it yourself.

For convenience you can feed your animals in their bins or let them outside in grass, but if you hand feed them you’ll earn affection.
Livestock you purchase max at 5 hearts. You must breed a 5 heart animal to get a 6 heart, and so on requiring 5 generations of breeding to max out. After you get to a 10 heart animal, all animals you buy of that type can reach 10 hearts. If you want to be efficient as possible, only get one breed of cow and focus on raising its affection and then breeding. After you get to 10 hearts, you can buy the other breeds of cow without limited hearts.

You can only get pets one day per season on the 15th, with a different animal available each season: Spring = cat, Summer = penguin, Fall = dog, Winter = capybara.
CRUCIAL: You CANNOT get another pet until your current pet is at 8 hearts. This will take a minimum of 2 ½ seasons so plan your pets accordingly.
If you want to have an adult pet for the Frisbee Contest in Summer Y2, you will need to get a penguin in Summer Y1.

You can earn FP and LP in the usual ways (walking, giving gifts). Each day you don’t talk to a villager, there is a chance you will lose FP and LP so try to avoid ignoring characters for too long.

Save Scumming
Some players may wish to leave their fate to the RNG gods, but others seek more control. That’s where you can use save scumming, or the practice of closing your game out without saving to reload different results. Uses in SOS FOMT include:
WEATHER: Weather is predetermined the day before, but you can use the weather channel to ensure you don’t have to lose an entire day’s work to change it. For example, if you need the pet merchant to be open on the 15th, save right before going to bed on the 13th. Go to bed and when you wake up immediately check the weather channel. If it says rain, close and reopen your game, then repeat until you get a sunny weather report.
CONFESSION: Each time you confess there is a chance you’ll be forgiven and get a bonus. You can save before confessing and reload if you don’t get forgiveness.
MINING: The ladder on each floor is loaded when you get to the floor. If you need to get to lower floors without using up your stamina, save when you get to the floor and dig until you find the ladder. Then reload the game and go straight for the ladder. Repeat on each floor.
BETTING: You can save before you place bets at the horse race and then reload if you lose.

Is there anything I should add here? I left off anything about specific villages or events to keep it spoiler free. If you have questions or corrections, let me know!
submitted by kimoshi to storyofseasons [link] [comments]

[Tales From the Terran Republic] The Poop Starts to Settle Part 3 of 2: Sheloran Moves In

Sheloran moves into her new home, a perfectly normal jail where nothing is HORRIBLY WRONG...
The rest of this series can be found here
“Well, it seems that we are going to get a chance to get to know each other after all!” Pam said cheerfully from behind a thick clear partition. “Goody!”
Sheloran just sat there on her padded cube miserably.
“Quite the scene in the courtroom!” Pam said brightly. “Woo! I have to say it takes a rare individual to tell any Terran judge to get fucked but Judge Thaddeus Carter himself… damn! You really let him freaking have it!”
“Yay me,” Sheloran said glumly.
“Yeah… maybe not the smartest move but if you are going to go down, go down guns blazing!” Pam said brightly. “You sure you aren’t a little Terran in a frog-suit?”
“Nope, just a plath… a very unlucky plath...”
“Oh I’m going to have to call bullshit on that one,” Pam smiled. “Oh, before we continue, I should introduce myself shouldn’t I?”
Pam drew herself up straight in her chair.
“I’m agent Pamela Dawson!” she said cheerfully. “I’m your profiler!”
“My profiler?”
“Yep!” Pam exclaimed enthusiastically. “It’s my job to figure out what makes you tick and let me tell you, that’s going to be fun!”
Sheloran looked at her suspiciously.
“Don’t feel too special. Most people here have a profiler,” she said with a grin. “You guys are just too interesting!”
“We are?”
“Sure!” she replied. “We host one of the greatest collections of… unique personalities, truly gifted humans and kalesh, exotic xeno threats, and the like anywhere in the galaxy! It’s a gathering of extremes, true one of a kinds! Normal humans, or any of the standard races for that matter, are boring! You guys? Not boring! I mean, a plath? Here?!? If someone told me two days ago that I would be chatting with a plath guest I would have told you that you were high… (and to give me some!)”
Pam leaned forward on her desk and whispered into the mic.
“Actually I would have had to look up what a plath was… and THEN I would have told you that I wanted a hit off of whatever pipe you were smoking! Oh! Speaking of...”
Pam tapped on her tablet and a doorway opened. An armed and armored combat drone floated in…
Carrying a tray that had a bottle of absinthe (her favorite brand!) a beautiful absinthe glass, chilled water, slotted spoon, and a small dish of sugar cubes.
“Care for a drink?” she asked. “We took the liberty of sneaking a peek into your hotel and this stuff would be repugnant beyond words to your roommate so we figured it was for you!”
“Um… thanks?” Sheloran said as she walked over. She opened the bottle and took a sniff.
“If we wanted to poison or drug you we would just gas you!” Pam said cheerfully as she pointed up at some very suspicious looking vents in the ceiling. “Or we’d have one of the bots hold you down...”
Sheloran carefully prepared herself a much needed drink and took a long sip. Oh she needed that.
“Is that your favorite?” Pam asked. “You get an alcohol ration. It would have to come pre-mixed though. We give you a drink or six a day, not a whole fucking bottle!”
“Why are you being so nice to me?” Sheloran as she sipped her absinthe suspiciously (still drank it though).
“I was wondering when you would ask,” Pam smiled. “Everyone asks that eventually. The easy answer is because it’s easy.”
Sheloran just looked at her in confusion.
“You are among the elite. You guys are the worst of the worst, the most deadly of the deadly, the baddest of the bad. You guys thrive on misery. Adversity empowers you. Brutality only gives you strength. Hell, most of you actually like it.”
“I don’t like it!” Sheloran squeaked sipping her absinthe.
“We could make this a living hell,” Pam chuckled, “but why exert ourselves so much just to suit you, make you stronger, more dangerous? Tartarus isn’t a ‘jail’ or even a ‘prison’. It’s a warehouse. It is our assigned task to store some of the most dangerous biological weapons in the galaxy, people like you. We aren’t concerned with punishment, or reform. Both concepts are a complete waste of time when we are dealing with individuals like yourself or anyone else here. Do you have any idea who we have in here?!? We can’t do shit to them! What they have been through… what they put themselves through just for fun sometimes… It’s literally impossible to punish them. Beat you down? Seriously? The concept is laughable. What lash would we use on someone like Tiberius Shane? Starve you? What privations would we use on ‘The Maiden’ that could bring her to her knees? Intimidate you? What would we possibly confront Kvash The Wounder with to make him flinch? It’s a complete waste of effort. Shit. You fucks would just view it as free entertainment.”
Sheloran’s eyes widened as she sipped her drink. Who was she going to be tossed in here with?
“The list goes on and on,” Pam chuckled. “Nobody in here is going to break. If they could safely be brought to heel they wouldn’t be here in the first place!”
“I can!” Sheloran squeaked nervously.
Pam just laughed.
“You are actually a prime example,” she chuckled. “I’m still crunching your numbers but you are ‘just a normal everyday plath’, completely ‘nice’, totally ‘docile’ (at least where violence goes)...”
“I am!”
“… until you get ‘pushed’...” Pam smiled wickedly. “Then you enter some sort of fugue state and become incredibly dangerous with the reaction times and target acquisition speed easily equal to that of a ‘sufficiently trained, fully enhanced, human special operative’. We have you on tape, both your own and the restaurant’s footage… would you like to see?”
Sheloran just shook her head.
“Well take my word for it,” Pam enthused, “when you black out shit gets freaky and you can go toe to toe with anyone, not just Harkeen thugs, and that’s before we even begin to talk about your ‘other abilities’. It’s in our best interest to keep you feeling comfortable and even more importantly, safe. I would much rather deal with you, than… you...”
“Other abilities?”
“Your innate technological abilities for one!” Pam exclaimed. “You just throw together the coolest little toys! The stuff you normally make is neat! The shit you made while in the Twilight Zone… The techies are still trying to figure out your Barn-Mart specials! Any info you feel like laying on us would be deeply appreciated!”
“I… I learned it from a video game...” Sheloran stammered.
“I like you!” Pam replied cheerfully. “I’m not sure if you actually believe that or are just a really good liar but I’m going to let you in on something,” she said as she pulled out the pistol she discarded in front of the hospital from a drawer in her desk, “This didn’t come from a video game. We checked them all.”
“It… It was based on one! That’s where I learned-”
“Advanced electronics? Weaponsmithing? High level electric and electronic engineering? Advanced physics?” Pam asked, “And something else that we are still trying to figure out… Even this little toy has some very smart very educated people very very excited.”
“I just tweaked it a little,” Sheloran said uncomfortably.
“Sure you did,” Pam winked. “Those little tweaks have some quite highly paid people not only a little confused, but actually a bit pissed off. Why didn’t you just use this little monster? It was certainly up for the task!”
Because I wanted them to-” Sheloran started to hiss and then clamped her hands over her mouth with a squeak.
“Suffer?” Pam asked her eyes gleaming malevolently? “Oh don’t worry,” she smiled. “I’m not DOJ and we have little interest in supporting their little games. We honestly do not care.”
“Department of Justice,” Pam smiled. “Not me. I don’t get paid to do those people’s jobs for them. I mean if we catch you planning a crime outside of this facility then yeah, we clue them in, but as far as helping them with a current investigation or trial? Pssh. I’ve got better things to do than become an active threat for one of our residents or guests. I mean, we think we got all the bases covered but… we aren’t you now are we? I am NOT going to be the reason you black out next time! They don’t pay me nearly enough for that bullshit.”
“Who… who are you with then?”
“The facility was built by and the exterior and outer spaces are guarded by the Republic armed forces,” Pam replied. “As far as who I and the rest of the internal and administrative staff goes, let’s just say that we serve the Republic and leave it at that.”
“Intelligence?” Sheloran asked in alarm.
“...We serve the Republic...” Pam smiled. “As a guest, all you need to know is that you will be well provided for and are completely safe. Everywhere you will go is covered by auto-turrets and patrolled by combat drones and we don’t use stunners. If someone starts trouble then they will stop… instantly. Even you can’t dodge them. Please inform your alter-ego. Even the most aggressive, violent, combative person here isn’t keen to throw their life away when there won’t even be a fight. No fun, no glory, just… darkness. That plus our two wardens, warden lassitude and warden corpulence, keep most people in line. I won’t bother telling you to relax or try to reassure you further but you will see. Things aren’t bad here at all! In fact, a lot of people are very happy to call this place home!”
A second combat bot entered the room carrying a small athletic bag and a tablet.
“That is your bag,” Pam said cheerfully. “You got a change of clothes, some undies (based on what we found in your hotel), and some slippers that I’m pretty sure you will like. There is also a tablet. You can use that to check the schedule, watch some vids, and communicate with me, of course!” Pam enthused. “You need anything or have any questions… or just want to talk, feel free to give me a call at any time. I do eat and sleep but I check my messages all the time!”
“Um… thanks...” Sheloran said dubiously.
“And if you want to chat with someone out there in the real world you can request a monitored line!” Pam enthused. “Someone’s going to be listening in, of course, but at least it’s something, right?”
“Uh, ok...” Yeah, that wasn’t going to happen. She would send messages through Baxlon. That was probably monitored too but if they acted on it Baxlon would eat them alive!
“Just follow the bot and it will take you to your new temporary home (fingers crossed, right?)” Pam smiled.
“Follow me, ma’am,” one of the bots said in a disturbingly human sounding voice as it hovered off.
Sheloran, clutching her tablet and bag, followed.
After she left, Pam’s friendly smile faded to an expressionless mask, her warm eyes glazing over and turning to ice.
She pulled out a communicator.
“Hello,” a dead, expressionless male voice answered.
“I have a candidate,” Pam replied with a cold purr. “She needs to become a resident. See to it.”
“I will inform the DOJ,” the man replied and hung up.
Pam reached into a desk drawer and pulled out a simple white armband emblazoned with a three-headed hound embroidered in black and silver thread.
She strapped it to her right arm and with near mechanical precision, rose and walked to the door.
As it opened, two guards leveled their shotguns at her.
She smiled at the fear in their eyes. They lived only because she let them and they knew it.
“I’m ready to return to my cell,” she said in a dead voice.
She was shown to a small cell with a bunk bed and a pair of desks… as well as a really really exposed showetoilet/sink combo.
Wow. It was just hanging out right there in the corner, just like she would be whenever she used it.
At least the door could close (and lock?) whenever she wanted it to.
If the door can close and lock that means…
She searched the room and, yep, sensors. Her every single move was tracked.
At least they weren’t cameras. She could at least hope for a modicum of privacy.
She turned to the bunks. The bottom one was occupied so she started setting up on the top one.
“Hey,” a male voice said.
It was one of the guys from the hall that was clapping when she lost her pooping mind (again).
Wait! There were men here?!?
“You’re a man!” she exclaimed in surprise.
“Was last time I checked,” he laughed. “Guys and girls are all mixed together here… I know. Weird, right?”
Sheloran just nodded.
“They say that the place is so secure they only need to make one. If anyone acts stupid…” he put two fingers to his head “Zap! Besides, everyone is fucking deadly here and everybody knows it! They also say it helps keep us ‘properly socialized’ or some bullshit like that. Don’t know about that but it’s nice having women around, even if I don’t have a girlfriend… yet! Name’s Roop, nice to meet you!”
“Sheloran,” she replied.
“I heard you today in the cubes!” he said. “Fucking badass, man!”
“Yeah, I sure told them...” Sheloran said ruefully.
“Oh your cellie is in the day room,” Roop said. “She practically lives in there. She’s one of the Grimdark Fifty-Thousand nerds. It’s almost like you have a private room!”
“Well, that will make pooping easier.”
Roop burst out laughing.
“You’re alright,” he said. “So, what are you in for?”
“Oh I really shouldn’t-”
Roop laughed some more.
“Cha-ka!” he laughed as he mimicked cracking a whip. “Just kidding! Everyone knows why you’re here! Those fucking threen picked the wrong madam to fuck with! Fucking brutal, man! The way you just walked in there… and then just sat down and ordered fucking breakfast!… Invited fucking SWAT to join you!… Didn’t even flinch when they hit you with the flash bangs!… Just raised your fucking coffee mug!… Pure motherfucking class!”
Sheloran winced.
“Hey, you wanna go grab a beer?” he asked. “I have two comin’.”
“Oh I appreciate it but-”
“I know, ‘nothing’s free in the joint’ but trust me, here it fucking is! I get six beers a day not counting all the weed! You won’t owe me a fucking thing!”
“You already sniffing around the new girl?” a husky female voice laughed as a huge human woman loomed into view. “I done told you you will probably have to wait till you become a resident to hook up!”
A gigantic tattooed woman gave Roop an affectionate headlock.
“Don’t mind Roop,” the woman laughed. “Horny little fuck’s been humpin’ everybody’s leg since he got here!”
“It wasn’t like that!” Roop protested. “I was just welcoming the new guy!”
“Uh-huh...” The mountain of a woman laughed. “Tell you what,” she grinned. “If you act right, you can come by my room later and I’ll give you a little bit.”
Roop’s eyes lit up.
“Sure! Why not!” the huge woman said. “Your sack must be about ready to pop! How long has it been?”
“Nine years...” Roop said, almost whining.
“Well no wonder you are so wound up!” she laughed. “Let me take care of business here and I’ll take you to heaven right after!”
“Really?!?!?” Roop replied.
“Get a load of this guy,” the woman laughed. “Yes, Roop, really. Now go to my room and wait.” “Yes, ma’am!” he exclaimed almost in ecstasy.
He started to sprint away but paused and turned to Sheloran.
“I was serious about grabbing a beer with ya!”
“Get out of here!” The woman said swatting Roop’s butt.
He left at a sprint.
“Oh boy oh boy oh boy!!!” he voice cried out as he ran.
“Forgive Roop,” she laughed. “He really wasn’t trying to trick you into owing him. He’s just trying to be nice. Hard to believe he chopped up his entire family.”
“But we don’t judge here,” the woman said. “It’s one of our rules. I’m Lee but everyone calls me Momma Bear. I’m the resident advisor for the block.”
“Resident advisor?”
“Yeah,” Lee replied. “I’m a ‘resident’ here, a lifer, and I live down here with you guests to help you guys out. Are you familiar with the trustee system?”
Sheloran shook her head.
“Well, here in Tartarus, we prisoners operate this place. We keep it running, keep it clean, and keep it orderly. You will only see the guards when you are in the outer ‘shell’. Once you enter the ‘core’ it’s just us… and the sensors, turrets, and bots of course. We trustees are the bosses. We assign jobs, wipe noses, swat butts, and whatever else that needs doing. You have any questions or need something I’m your girl. Just come see Momma Bear and I’ll point you in the right direction.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Sheloran said meekly.
“You can drop that ‘ma’am’ bullshit. Call me either Lee or Momma Bear. We are here for a reason after all! I’m no better than you! I’ve just been here longer, that’s all!” she said with an odd look in her eye for a moment.
She shook herself.
“Anyway, stash your shit and I will show you around!”
“… and don’t screw with the bots,” Lee said as they strolled the block. “They aren’t packing stunners and they will kill you. If they say something, listen. They will only say it once.”
Sheloran just nodded as she looked around.
“And see the bot with the gold markings?” Lee continued. “Those are ‘manned’. There is a guard piloting it. You want to talk to the man, just talk to one of those. If you ever have a problem with someone or feel even a little unsafe and you can’t find me or if you don’t want to talk to me about it for some reason, go to a goldie. Just don’t try to ‘take care of it’ yourself. There are too many turrets and drones. You will die. I’m serious about that. Don’t test them.”
“Ok,” Sheloran squeaked.
“Let’s see...” Lee said as she looked out across the common area. “There!” she exclaimed as she pointed at a specially decorated gold drone. “See the one with the star? That’s officer Jax! He’s the block’s concierge officer. He’s your point of contact as far as the man goes. Between him and me we can take care of whatever you need. Let’s go say hello!”
Officer Jax was really nice.
After they met with him Lee said that she had to go and ‘take care’ of Roop.
With a big grin and a wave she left.
When it was time for lunch Sheloran was amazed. Everything was so yummy! Oh it was so nice! There was this massive salad bar loaded down with apples, and oranges, and bananas and those wonderful tomatoes that Terra had. Everything was so fresh! They say that it’s because they grow a lot of it here!
Oh! And the olive bar! Great Prophet it was so good!
And you could go back as much as you wanted!
They even had these ‘fountains’ that had chocolate pouring down the sides in thick sheets and you could dip fruit and bread and all sorts of things in it! Wow! She had never seen anything like that before!
She didn’t have her dispensary card yet but it was “sangria day” so she could get a glass or two (She discovered that she absolutely adored sangria!) and nobody minded. They just said that she could just ‘pour in’ next time. In fact they insisted and kept filling up her cup until a bot said that she had had enough. (Ok, just one more glass then that’s it!)
She was still nervous as anything but everyone was really nice to her. In fact, she was a bit of a celebrity. It turns out that she was all over the news and everyone knew what she had done and what she had said to Judge Dredd.
There were even people who wanted to be her boyfriend!…
And one person who wanted to be her girlfriend!
Everyone wants to be my ‘friend’ except for a pooping plath! Sheloran thought ruefully as she politely declined yet another offer.
She was a little bit flattered though. When people expressed ‘interest’ before it was because she was a ‘cute’ little xeno. They were interested in ‘what’ she was…
Here, they were offering because of ‘who’ she was, what she had done. They wanted to be with her because she was a badass, one of them.
It was different… and a little bit exciting if she was being perfectly honest. They actually wanted her! It didn’t matter if she was weird… or even that she was “bad”… They actually wanted her!
Maybe she could… No! Absolutely not! Poop! What was she thinking?
And she wasn’t ‘one of them’!…
Was she?…
Completely overwhelmed, she retreated to her room and locked the door.
She hoped that her cellie was nice.
She pulled a really nice blanket over her head and hid for awhile.
[Chatroom UNDEFINED]
[Private Chatroom UNDEFINED]
[Present: Bunny]
[Interpol-2 has entered the chat]
///Bunny: Oh shit! Five-Oh! Five-Oh!///
///Interpol-2: Good afternoon, Bunny :) Keeping out of trouble (at least in the Republic)? ///
///Bunny: Funny you should mention that...///
///Interpol-2: Goddammit, Bunny! YOU PROMISED!///
///Bunny: I promise a lot of shit :D ///
///Interpol-2: So why the summons? You just wanted to gloat?///
///Bunny: I need a teeny, tiny, almost insignificant little favor.///
///Interpol-2: You actually expect me to assist you in… BREAKING THE LAW?!?///
///Bunny: Yep! :D ///
///Interpol-2: I should just log off and issue an alert but I simply have to know. What the hell are you planning and exactly why the FUCK should I help you?///
///Bunny: You know the Tartarus Detention Facility?///
///Interpol-2: Bunny… You can’t be serious!///
///Bunny: :) ///
///Interpol-2: One. It’s impossible, even for you and two… there is no two! It’s suicide!///
///Bunny: Care to make a little wager then? The bet: We hit the place, break out exactly who we want and only who we want and then escape without a trace.///
///Interpol-2: I know we’ve enjoyed a little wager or two in the past but not this time! This is too much! The fucking Cerberus program is in there! Please tell me this isn’t about them!///
///Bunny: Relax, we aren’t touching any of the hounds. Even we have our limits! No, this is just good old-fashioned high treason. ///
///Interpol-2: High treason? WTF? I thought you guys were on our side!///
///Bunny: Relax, it has to do with the Kung-Fu Cunny. ///
///Interpol-2: Oh, that’s cool then! :D I’ll take a piece of that action! (but no touchy Cerberus!) God! It would be GREAT if Tart got taken down a peg or three!///
///Bunny: We’re going after a guest. We aren’t getting anywhere near the residential levels.///
///Interpol-2: And you need me to make this happen?///
///Bunny: Hell no! The day I need your help to pull off a job is the day I start doing people’s taxes for a living!///
///Interpol-2: Then what do you want?///
///Bunny: You want to hear something fucking hilarious?///
///Interpol-2: I could use a laugh. ///
Sheloran entered the dining hall expectantly.
If anything lunch was just a warm-up!
Supper was amazing! She grabbed a plate of grilled veggies and gleefully raided the salad bar.
She paused over the pile of goodies in front of her as she gave thanks to the Great Prophet for the feast. She might be stuck here for well… maybe forever… but at least the food was good!
She wondered what their gardens were like. She bet they were awesome and wondered how long it would be before she could see them.
As she raised the first forkful of goodness to her waiting mouth a blur zipped in and landed across from her.
“Hi!” a slightly built blonde female exclaimed. “I’m Zippo! Your cellie! Sorry I didn’t meet you before but the Bionids were launching a raid and we had to put those foul xenos down in the name of the Emperor!… Sorry… I don’t mean ‘xeno’ like you I mean ‘xeno’ like xenos! I play Grimdark! Do you like Grimdark? It’s awesome! You can read my books if you want! We have a great community here! I hear its even better once you become a Resident! You slash stuff up, huh? I saw the news! Pretty cool! I like fire! I burn stuff! I just can’t help it! I just love to watch flames you know! Did you know that fire meets all of the requirements for life itself? It does! That’s how I got here! I just kept burning stuff! Did you know you can start a fire with just...”
Oh Creators... Sheloran thought in horror. This was her pooping cell mate?… Great…
“… And they were really mean to me there, so I burned them up! Oh how they screamed! It was so funny!...”
Wait. What? Sheloran thought in alarm as she caught that last bit.
“You burned your cell mates?” Sheloran asked her eyes widening in alarm.
“Well, the people in my bay,” Zippo replied. “We didn’t have ‘cells’ we all lived in one big room which made it really easy to get them all! See what I did was...”
I have a killer for a cell mate… Great… Sheloran thought glumly and then chuckled. Of course she did. She was here after all.
“… and then BOOM! WOOSH!” Zippo said as she threw her arms wide. “Everything burned! I used to be a chemistry major! Straight A’s! That’s how I knew you could make-”
“Excuse me.” Sheloran said after she swallowed a slice of perfectly ripe avocado.
“Why did you burn your fellow prisoners again?”
“Because they wouldn’t stop beating on me! They said I talked too much! Anyway, like I was saying I used to be a chemistry major so I knew you could take the detergent and mix it with...”
There it is, Sheloran chuckled. She was wondering where the turd in the salad was. At least she spent most of the day playing that Grimdark game.
“… but don’t worry! I’m not burning anything anymore! I can’t! I don’t wanna die… or worse!”
“You DON’T want to go where they send you if you get ‘voted off of the island’!”
“Where’s that?” Sheloran asked, quite concerned. Knowing the universe’s fondness for pooping on her head she was probably going to go there too.
“Oh it’s bad!” Zippo said with big eyes. “It’s called the-”
Zippo trailed off into wide-eyed silence as four elderly people quietly walked up.
“Good evening, Zip,” an old man said with a smile. “Mind if we chat with your friend here?”
“Sure!” Zippo squeaked and quickly grabbed her tray and fled.
“You’re welcome,” the man said as he sat down across from her. “Five minutes with that girl is more than enough for anyone. I’m Martin,” he said as he extended his hand.
“Sheloran, nice to meet you,” she replied as she shook it.
“Kid,” Martin said, “You got style. You handled your business, yourself. You didn’t send some punk. You even did it with style. Didn’t bother trying to run, just sat yourself down and ordered breakfast, even tipped your waiter. Class act. Much respect.”
“Um, thanks?”
“And you didn’t scrape and beg in front of that judge,” Martin smiled. “Fuck the Republic and Fuck you too… classic! Wish I had said something that badass when I was on trial.”
“That was kind of a mistake, actually,” Sheloran replied.
“Heh… probably,” Martin said as they all laughed. “But some mistakes you just gotta make!”
He leaned forward.
“I just got one question,” he asked. “Why did you do it? Why did you kill those fuckers?”
Sheloran just sighed. Just be yourself, right?
“They hurt my people,” Sheloran snarled. “innocent people, people who hadn’t done a pooping thing to anyone… made her kid watch while they...”
Sheloran hissed.
“Nobody hurts my people and gets away with it!”
The group all looked at each other and nodded.
“Kid,” Martin smiled. “You ever hear of ‘The Saints’?…”
“We are a… professional association… of like minded individuals,” Martin smiled. “From all across the Republic… A ‘union’ of sorts… a union that you might benefit from joining.”
“Look, Martin,” Sheloran said carefully, “I appreciate it but I just want to get through this without getting in any more trouble...”
They all laughed.
“We aren’t some pissant prison gang,” Martin chuckled. “I’m talking about when you beat the rap. You are running a pretty nice little game on your own but as you have found out, it can be hard without people at your back… and with The Saints you can take your little game and make it a lot bigger. We don’t do shit here except our time. The only ‘perk’ you get here is that Zippo won’t crash your lunch. She steers clear of us. She doesn’t want the Orggs wiping out her legion like last time she crossed us.”
“Yeah, little bitch tried playing in the big leagues,” a silver-haired woman snarled. “We crunched up all her tasty little smurfs!”
“It’s the closest thing to a shanking we could manage around here,” Martin chuckled. Krista here does board games, I do cards, Sven handles the FPS and RTS racket. You game?
Sheloran smiled.
“A little...”
submitted by slightlyassholic to HFY [link] [comments]

From 0 programming knowledge to the appstore in 7 months. If i can do it everyone can do it.

From 0 programming knowledge to the appstore in 7 months. If i can do it everyone can do it.

Sleep Analytics for iOS built with Swift UI
I started to learn SwiftUI in December 2019. I had 0 knowledge of programming at that time.
First i have used the playground app from Apple. Then i register for SwiftUI training courses on Udemy.
I found training courses in my native language (french) that helped me a lot at the beggining to understand the basics.
I found a lot of great informations from this Reddit. I followed many tutorials and built differents projects from GitHub to understand how they work.
So After about 1 months i started SleepAnalytics project as a test project. I wanted to learn as much as possible how to use the hardware from the iOS device so i could build interface around it.
I started with the barometer and then step by step added more and more features like location, camera use and more. At the beggining it was very frustrating because i would not understand everything because of my english technical skills was limited.
I had some days i wanted to quit really, but then the next day i was back with full power.
I spent 8 hours a day learning and doing Sleep Analytics project. Even more during the lockdown of corona virus. Then i talked with a mentor to be able to correct me and tell me what i was doing wrong.
I really loved the experience to create something from nothing and i'm very happy to see it today in the Apple app store.
I'm sure SwiftUI can become a new opportunity in my life, specially after this Corona virus pandemic, also i'm waiting my 1st baby in 2 months. I need a new job.
I love challenges, if i can do it everyone can do it trust me ! All you need is motivation and beleive in yourself.
Today the world is changing at fast speed. I'm betting on SwiftUI for my future and i hope to learn more to be able build some more advanced app later.
Download Sleep Analytics for iOS:
Sleep Analytics was designed to use your mobile as a sleep monitoring device, analyse different features such as light effect, pressure change, air quality, location, sound recording and much more. The results give a complete analysis and tips on how to improve your sleep despite all of these factors.
Many things can be be improved in Sleep Analytics but i wanted to share it with you.
Thank you the Swift community ! This project would never be possible without you !
Please feel free to download my first app and let me know your feedback much apreciated.
Thank you for your time. Keep it up !
submitted by furiousteam to swift [link] [comments]

From 0 programming knowledge to the appstore in 7 months. If i can do it everyone can do it.

From 0 programming knowledge to the appstore in 7 months. If i can do it everyone can do it.

Sleep Analytics for iOS built with Swift UI
Feel free to download my first app and let me know your feedback much apreciated.
Download Sleep Analytics for iOS:
I started to learn SwiftUI in December 2019. I had 0 knowledge of programming at that time.
First i have used the playground app from Apple. Then i register for SwiftUI training courses on Udemy.
I found training courses in my native language (french) that helped me a lot at the beggining to understand the basics.
I found a lot of great informations from this Reddit. I followed many tutorials and built differents projects from GitHub to understand how they work.
So After about 1 months i started SleepAnalytics project as a test project. I wanted to learn as much as possible how to use the hardware from the iOS device so i could build interface around it.
I started with the barometer and then step by step added more and more features like location, camera use and more. At the beggining it was very frustrating because i would not understand everything because of my english technical skills was limited.
I had some days i wanted to quit really, but then the next day i was back with full power.
I spent 8 hours a day learning and doing Sleep Analytics project. Even more during the lockdown of corona virus. Then i talked with a mentor to be able to correct me and tell me what i was doing wrong.
I really loved the experience to create something from nothing and i'm very happy to see it today in the Apple app store.
I'm sure SwiftUI can become a new opportunity in my life, specially after this Corona virus pandemic, also i'm waiting my 1st baby in 2 months. I need a new job.
I love challenges, if i can do it everyone can do it trust me ! All you need is motivation and beleive in yourself.
Today the world is changing at fast speed. I'm betting on SwiftUI for my future and i hope to learn more to be able build some more advanced app later.

More about the me and how I did this project:
I work as an entrepreneur since I'm 18, today i'm 39 and i made different business online, I was creating project/ideas and managing a small dev team (only web). Some of this business worked well for some years and some failed. So I have lost my team and closed business. That's the life of entrepreneur. Sometimes you win sometimes you lose.
I always wanted to create iOS applications and the Apple Developer conference last year really gave me the motivation by seeing the unlimited possibility of creativity in iOS. I have watched mostly all videos from WWDC19.
Yes I have a MacBook Pro and an iPhone XR.
Then I started with the iOS13 & Swift 5 course by Dr. Angela Yu :
I made about half of this course and then I have met a iOS programmer Move Upwards : He suggested me to start learning SwiftUI.
I suffered a little with some technical terms in English specially at the beginning to understand the difference between "@State" var, "@Binding" and the others. Also the difference with Array, Tuples etc...
I have found a SwiftUI course in French on Udemy by Matthieu Passerel :
I finished this course and this helped a lot to really understand the basic of SwiftUI.
From there I have used the 100 days of swiftUI :
Then I decided to make a small app to use the camera of the device to mesure the light obscurity. Then create another service to use the barometer, and then came the idea to make the Sleep Analytics project.
I used to draw a prototype. It is still available here:
And then I asked MoveUpwards dev if he would be ok to be my mentor for this project. He said yes.
I have started to design the app and the different section using what I have learn from the previous course. This course often provide exemples so I could go back and check at my samples. 1 time per week, sometimes more 2-3 times per week, I had a private session with my mentor and he was explaining my error, help correcting, also explaining how to do things properly. Creating services etc ...
Every day SwiftUI for all this time. 7 months after here we are.
I may take a break a little and spend a little less time at computer but I will be back full power soon ! I will update this thread in 1 year to see how things went :)

Sleep Analytics was designed to use your mobile as a sleep monitoring device, analyse different features such as light effect, pressure change, air quality, location, sound recording and much more. The results give a complete analysis and tips on how to improve your sleep despite all of these factors.
Many things can be be improved in Sleep Analytics but i wanted to share it with you.
Thank you the SwiftUI community ! This project would never be possible without you !
Thank you for your time. Keep it up !
submitted by furiousteam to SwiftUI [link] [comments]

I'm finalizing my portfolio for this year.

It's been a while since I made a big post. Lots of people are still messaging me about the energy sector post, especially for the ENPH tip, so I'm here to show my portfolio. I don't own all companies yet, this is partially hypothetical. I'm holding on to a reasonable cash position for a possible new downturn, but I have starting positions in most companies and will DCA.
I will try to keep it summarized, as I have done quite a lot of analysis on each of them. I'll draw the main picture and give the most important arguments for my choices, but I'm not expanding too much. If you're interested, you can DM me to talk about them more.
Let me start by saying I'm a growth investor. I always look for a combination of growth with a great track record, if possible at a reasonable price. There are exceptions as you will see below, but the main balance stays the same. I'm not a defensive investor, but no aggressive one either. My timeline is 2-5 years at least (due to a possible start of a small business), but I would gladly hold on to these companies 10+ years.
TLDR; For you guys not interested in my portfolio, I've added a short list of interesting smaller cap companies at the end, most of them trading at decent values.
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This one is becoming a blue chip, but has more than enough growth potential to live up to those high valuations. Preferred by gamers and beating their biggest competitor in the CPU market hard. While AMD and INTC were close competitors at the beginning of the 21st century, INTC took the lead by a lot. Since 2017, they introduced 7nm CPU's and GPU's and they are closing the gap fast. Not only are their chips more performant, they are also cheaper. Market cap $60B vs $261b.
Those next generation chips lead them to new partnerships, often beating INTC. Microsoft, a long time Intel customer, began using AMD chips in their Surface laptops. Lenovo using AMD for their new servers. Nvidia started using the chips in their AI products. AMD is also used by Apple's high-end laptops, while Intel (used in the budget range) will probably get replaced by Apple chips made in-house. Apart from laptops, AMD has government contracts to deliver supercomputers in 2021/2023 and they are used in both PS and XBOX consoles, to give a few examples.
For the CPU market, AMD is destined to take over, but they're also taking on NVDA for their GPU's. They have been catching up for years and in 2019 they finally made a better performing GPU in the $350-400 price range. There is a possibility to gain GPU market cap since NVDA has been pushing their prices due to the lack of competition. Therefore, with AMD stepping up their game, they need to give up market share or lower their margins.
Assets over liabilities are x1.88. Cash to debt ratio well above industry average, debt to EBITDA well below IA. ROE 17.12% and ROIC 28.06%. Earnings were growing fast before Covid (125% in Q3, 78% in Q4). Yes they're overvalued, but with their future outlook, I would always buy below $49.
Now that they are done catching up, the question is, will they outperform in the future. To gain more market share of Nvidia, they need to be better, not equally good. AMD also needs to control the heating better, as it is one of their long term problems.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
Fintech companies like SQ and PYPL are a great investment. However, a lot of big companies will (and already did) implement online financial services. MA is able to easily work with multiple of those companies and they're using their global presence pretty well, that's why they're my pick for the fintech industry.
They launched Mastercard Accelerate last year, implementing those online paying platforms and letting start-ups take advantage of their global presence to grow and transform very fast. Last year they acquired Ethoca (managing e-commerce fraud) and Vyze (platform to connect merchants with multiple renders, giving them the opportunity to get those financial needs for start-ups). MA is basically helping start-ups to grow faster, which will result in more financial transactions in the future.
Last but not least, they like to focus on expanding to countries where there isn't much competition yet. They are expanding their exposure to Middle East and Africa, working with local networks and e-commerce platforms. They are in a strong position to capitalize those regions in the future and take on market leader Visa even more.
They get compared a lot to Visa, so I'll expand on that subject a bit as well. While V is focussing on performance and speed, MA plays the cyber security card. They are already working on ways to implement cryptocurrency and Mastercard tend to have more growth potential vs stability from market leader Visa. While V is in the lead, MA is more widely used by fintech companies, which shows potential take-over in the future. Next to their credit services, they also own debit service Maestro, which is widely used in Europe.
Returns as high as 150% (ROE) and 60% (ROIC). Very large margins and perfectly stable balance sheet. High EPS growth YoY, 53% and 42% in the last two years. Quick ratio 1.87. V has more assets and even bigger margins, however MA wins in returns and cash. In terms of more growth, I like to focus on those last numbers more.
It's a blue chip at a $300B market cap. Their growth potential might be limited, although I see them as one of the better picks between blue chips.
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I already talked about solar energy in another post, so I'm gonna skip the explanation. As some of you know my choices were ENPH and SEDG, so I'll explain a bit about why I choose ENPH here. Mainly it's because of their financials, so I'll dive that straight away.
Quick ratio - 2.35 vs 1.74
ROE - 142.94% vs 21.51%
ROIC - 85.51% vs 25.81%
Net margin - 25.81% vs 10.28%
However I think SEDG balance sheet is a lot better and safer, ENPH is working on their future more efficient. They are paving the way smoothly with bigger margins and return on investments. Although SEDG might be the better pick right now, ENPH will be the better one in a short while. ENPH is also a bit less overvalued and their PEG ratio is lower, which makes them the better pick to get in right now.
Diving into the products as well, ENPH just has the better and more efficient product. Their micro inverters are more durable (20 vs 12 years) and give the chance to increase or decrease the amount of solar panels easily, depending on your personal situation.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
I'm not a big fan of biotech companies, but these guys have my attention. Not because they're working on Covid vaccines, but because of two reasons. First one is them getting back-up from Gilead Sciences. That's the push they needed to start operating worldwide, increasing their potential market cap. Now that they have the cash from GILD, they can keep on buying interesting divisions and increase their growth. While having almost no long term debt, they are set pretty well with about $4 billion extra in cash.
Second, they have multiple medicines in later trial phases, with Filgotinib as their biggest one. They had a setback on those results, but the company is very confident, giving an opportunity to get them at a decent price. I wouldn't be surprised if they partner up with another big pharmaceutical company in the metabolic disease section.
High PE (84 vs 44 average), but PEG ratio is 1.2. Quick ratio 9.28. ROIC 75.91% and ROE 7%. Became profitable this year with 16.25% net margin. 38.7% YoY EPS growth.
Like all biotech players, there's a lot depending on medicines getting through phase trials and being commercialized. If Filgotinib will fail, their stock will obviously fall. However since they are backed by a big US giant, they can commercialize the product faster and on a bigger global scale if trials succeed. That's what gives them the advantage in comparison to other biotech companies for me.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
This one has got me doubting a lot. I've taken them off and put them back on my list multiple times, but eventually I decided to keep them at least 2 years to see how they will evolve into streaming.
Biggest advantage they have on their competitors is they basically have a monopoly on kids entertainment. Kids are growing up with electronic devices and content, so they're creating customers at a very young age. That's how Coca Cola used to work. They targeted 14-16 year olds, dumping loads of money into advertising which resulted in life long customers, as people didn't change cola brands often.
Disney+ is a big hit and they won't get so much competition from other streaming services as Netflix and Roku will. They have one of the strongest defined brands out there and they know perfectly how to build and maintain their company. It's also still unclear how sports with public will evolve, but it's certain streaming will become even bigger after Covid. Therefore their money-losing ESPN acquisition could even turn into a moneymaker.
I can't really say great things about their financials. ROE is 12.67%, above 10% is decent. Assets over liabilities are x1.85 and debt to equity is 0.61. You could apply the saying "too big to fail' here, but that's about it. The bad financials are mainly caused by their big investment to streaming of course and they're working on it hard. They doubled their cash position, increasing their quick ratio from 0.75 to 0.89.
I would say financials are their weak point here. They still have to go through some bad weather this and next year I would say. Them doubling their cash position in Q1 was soothing, as I see it being the biggest issue for the future. It might be better to wait it out and keep an eye on them for next year, but I wanted to take a position already. Not higher than 8% of my portfolio though.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
They don't really an introduction I guess. 2nd biggest player for cloud services with Azure. Naming Satya Nadella as CEO and making the transition from hardware to software in 2014 were the best decisions they could've made. Acquired the government contract with Pentagon, however there's still uncertainty about it. In short, Amazon is claiming they were about to win the contract, but Trump criticizing the company would've lead to calling off the deal. For me, that's probably the main reason why MSFT didn't fly as high as their fellow cloud competitors yet.
Assets over liabilities x1.67. ROE and ROIC respectively at 43.82% and 28.88%. Quick ratio of 2.88, 0.65 debt to equity and 1.86 cash to debt. Decent financials, great returns. Talking about blue chips, I would say MSFT is still fairly valued with a PEG ratio just below industry average. Also paying a small dividend.
The Pentagon contract allegations could be pretty negative for the company. They will probably not come back on their decision, cause if they do, MSFT will claim they already made big investments towards them and things will just keep on dragging on. Even without the contract, MSFT should be a 10 year hold while buying on dips.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
Haven't read a lot about them here on Reddit, but they're a very decent investment. Basically, they buy properties from cannabis companies and leases them back to the sellers, giving them the cash they need to grow faster and IIPR keeps the long term advantage of renting out those properties. They need to buy about 6-8 properties a year to keep their growth rate going and they already bought 7 this year. They still have a lot of cash ready to take advantage of the crisis.
Not only are they 20% undervalued right now, they have a lot more growth potential after that and on top of it, they pay close to 5% dividend. I'm not a big fan of betting on the best cannabis company for the future, but IIPR is a great buy to have exposure in that industry. It doesn't happen very often I come across a company that combines growth potential with a high dividend, but IIPR does.
Quick ratio 6.75, cash to debt 2.8 (while REITs have an 0.07 average). Net margins 13% above average. Assets over liabilities x4.88. Annual EPS growing by more than 150% and about 41% in the last quarter before Covid. They just missed Q1 estimates, but it was only an 8% drop from Q4, performing way better than other REITs.
IIPR has held a lot of new investment rounds, diluting shares. Of course extra capital will result in higher growth and will eventually be positive in the long run. There has been a drop in these last few days due to the announcement of selling 1 million more shares soon. I would look at it as an opportunity to get an even better price on them.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
It's the only company I don't own yet. I can't force myself to invest more than $140 per share for them, although I really like their business model. A lot of people are skipping doctors visits these days, going straight away to get medicines and counting on the advice of pharmacists. A lot of times, there's more examination needed.
Not only do I see them succeeding in their field, I see them as an essential part of the automation of the pharmacy industry. It's a useful tool in emergencies, giving advice and deciding how serious the condition is, if (fast) medical care is needed. Teladoc will also play a role in insurance and giving the employers a checking tool. 98.9% of their shares are owned by institutions.
In terms of profitability and returns, not great of course. They are estimated to get profitable in 2023. Great balance sheet, assets over liabilities x2.66. Quick ratio 6.14, cash to debt 1.06, debt to equity 0.48.
It's hard to see if a company is well managed before they are profitable. Their moat isn't very narrow, however I feel being one of the first ones gives you a big advantage in this field.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
Gonna keep this one pretty short, there has been enough posts about Donkey Kong. For me, the most important factor for choosing them in this industry is their fantasy sports section. They are widely popular and that division will only get more interesting while online gambling, and especially in-game betting, gets more and more legalized in the US.
Although they realized major revenue growth in 2019, they almost doubled their earnings loss. Main reason of course having to develop their platform and system. Good thing is, their technology is highly scalable, meaning they margin will grow massively while expanding in to more states and countries. Not many ratios available yet, so that's about the only financial information I own atm.
The only negative I see is their pretty wide moat, so this one should be monitored more closely in the future. But for now, they have the momentum and are one of the most popular choices, great investment.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
As many of you know, two great companies (UTC and RTN) merged together in April. While United focussed on aircraft engines (Pratt & Whitney), Raytheon manufactured weapons, military and commercial electronics. They always delivered advanced technologies and them gaining multiple government contracts in the last decade is confirmation of their performant products.
Raytheon will continue to grow their leadership in different segments. Because of their diversity, they seem perfectly in place to grow even more into an aerospace & defense giant. Engines, aerostructures, avionics, sensors, cybersecurity and other software solutions are just a few examples of their working fields.
With a PE ratio of 13.58 and PB ratio of 1.41, this is probably the most undervalued stock in my portfolio. Assets over liabilities x1.43. The rest of their financials isn't that great. UTC was carrying a lot of debt, but because of the merger, it will be better balanced as RTN was only carrying $2 billion net debt. If they can decrease their debt and optimize their merger, they are set to be the new number one in defense.
It's still unclear how the merger will work out financially and logistically. In theory, they should be very well armed (pun intended) to take on LMT as market leader. Their exposure to commercial aircrafts is also a big threat, but it's less of an issue because they can make up with their other practices.
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As you can see, I've tried to get the best blue chips with still some growth potential and stable growth companies together. Since a lot of companies already got mentioned on this forum, I'll include a bonus round of interesting companies I came across during my search for the best companies. I didn't include them in my portfolio mainly because I feel the chance of them succeeding and living up to their future potential is more risky than others. For you looking for higher risk, higher reward, check out these companies below.
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So, that's about all I have to share. This will also be my last big post a while. Analyzing stocks has been my main occupation for the last three months, but it's time to work on opening up the hotel and bar again. I hope some of you get something out of this. I'm not a professional so always check again for yourself. I'm gonna hold on to these companies for a while now. Will add some extra capital at the beginning of 2021, so you could expect another big post about my newest findings then. For now, I'm gonna take a break from following the market day in day out and enjoy the weather a bit more.
Have a good one!
submitted by CapitalC5 to stocks [link] [comments]

How To Actually Get Over A Breakup and Get Your Ex Back (Based on Science) [Revised Edition]

I know you are going through hell right now. You are sad, confused, angry, depressed, and sometimes numb. You go from sad to angry then to numb. Or you are just sad all the time or even just angry all the time. I am here to tell you that whatever emotions you are going through is normal. It is totally normal to feel these painful emotions and even be confused by them. You don't go from grief to anger, you switch around a lot. Your emotions are basically all over the place. Guilt, shame, disappointment, and hopelessness are quite common too. You might be also experiencing panic and anxiety attacks, heartache (literally), episodes of depression, headaches, stomach problems, loss of appetite, insomnia. You can't stop thinking about your Ex and what they have done to you.
To make matters worse, our friends and family aren't being the most helpful. At first, maybe they were supportive. And then later they just started being dismissive to our feelings by saying things like "Just move on already" or "There is a lot of fish in the sea". This causes us to feel like there is something wrong with us, that we should have moved on already. This notion makes us blame ourselves for feeling this pain. I am here to tell you that there is NOTHING wrong with you for feeling this way. There is no RIGHT amount of time to take to "move on" and none of it is your fault.
Heartbreak is universal and has existed for more than thousands if not millions of years of our existence (Fisher, 2017). You can trace poems about broken hearts from the ancient Egyptian pyramids to ancient Inuit cave dwellings. Look at the top 100 songs on the billboards right now, the majority are songs about our broken hearts. Where there is love, there will be heartbreak. Your experience is excruciating, but fortunately not unique. Our species has survived and thrived after getting their hearts smashed into bits for thousands of years. So, YOU can too.
You don't feel like yourself. You don't think you will ever be happy again. Fortunately, you are going to be OKAY. It will take a while but you will get back to who you were before. I promise on our broken-hearted ancestors. I prepared this guide so this process is much easier. This guide also outlines the best way to get your ex back, if you want that. These tips are not in chronological order, you do not need to follow them one after another.
1) Acceptance
Maybe you realized before it happened or maybe the break up got you by surprise. Either way, it’s devastating. You hope this is some nightmare and you will get up and everything will get back to normal. But no, this is your reality right now. The relationship is over. It’s okay to be in shock and denial in the first few weeks but eventually, you will just have to accept it. It will be difficult to accept it, but you have to do it to get to the next healing stage. Accept what happened. Denial will only prolong your suffering.
2) Grieve your loss
Cry your heart out, doesn't matter if you are a guy or a girl. Start your day with a good cry. It lifts a huge burden and you walk lighter throughout the day. Break up music, pictures of your ex, old texts are all good things to use to start bawling if you are having trouble crying. Angry? Punch a pillow, yell into the pillow! Do whatever it takes to get your anger out, as long as it's not harming anyone else. This grief will come in waves. Some days you might not feel it as much, but some days it hits you hard. That is normal. So cry! Process your emotions, don't hold it in. Holding it in will compound it and it will come out in different ways. There is no timeline for you to process grief. Don't let anybody tell you "In 6 months you will stop crying". Your healing process is YOUR healing process. Take however long. It might also hit you unexpectedly, a year into the healing journey when you think you are doing great then you hear a song you both liked and boom. You are hit with sadness. It does diminish over time so, be patient. The intensity and frequency of "grief attacks" and "anger attacks" lessen over time.
Sometimes we are disappointed not because they left but because they did not fulfill our expectations. Such as getting married to us, having our babies, etc. These dreams can be fulfilled by somebody else. You are not sad because they were the one, you are sad because you THOUGHT they were.
3) Understanding what is going on in your head right now
Humans are social animals. Our survival depended on our ability to forge relationships with others (Buss, 2019). Hence, our brain evolved to instill mechanisms that would help us keep these relationships. So when a prehistoric bear tried to kidnap your mate, you would enter fight or flight mode which would make you jump into action and do everything to save them. As you heard the cries of your mate, your cortisol would shoot through the roof, adrenaline and norepinephrine would pump into your body which helps you to run faster, fight harder and feel less pain. These chemicals motivate you to take massive action. You might scream at the bear while chucking rocks at his head or run back to the village super fast and call for backup. Were they always successful in warding the bear off? Nope, but they were successful enough to pass this evolutionary advantageous trait to us since our ancestors who did not possess this trait died off. Therefore it would make sense if you have an eerily similar reaction if some random guy in a trench coat tried to kidnap your little brother. Unfortunately, for people going through a breakup, this mechanism gets triggered since a relationship is potentially ending and our brain is freaking the fuck out. This mechanism might make us call them a 100 times, scream at them, make big romantic gestures, hold on to their leg while they are trying to walk away (metaphorically or even LITERALLY). We try reasoning with them, we try everything to get them back to calm our head but it doesn't work. (Will get into why it doesn't work later on). Even if it does work, it does not last long. This fight or flight response persists because we failed to keep our relationship. Our body is riddled with agonizing anxiety all day because those stress chemicals I mentioned earlier are still doing their magic on your system. This may persist, days or even months. This phase won't last forever. You just need to make sure to not do anything stupid, you know like CALLING THEM A 100 TIMES but even if did do something stupid. Don't be too hard on yourself.
4) Be patient
I know hurts. It's horrible. It is going to be like this for a bit but you will get better eventually. People don't take 2 weeks to 'Get over it'. Be patient, trust the process.
5) Cut off all contact, go No contact (For your own healing)
Don't text them, don't call them, don't snap them, don't like their photos, don't do anything to contact them, don't even try to send a pigeon. If they message or call you, let them know straight up that if they want to try the relationship again they can call or text you. Otherwise, tell them not to contact you under any circumstances. No need to be mean, do it politely. "If you ever want to give another try with our relationship, only then contact me. Otherwise refrain from contacting me. I want some space, thank you." Why are we being so cruel?
Love activates all your happy chemicals. Dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, endorphin (Zeki, 2007). When the person dumps you, they cut you off all these happy chemicals causing massive withdrawal symptoms. Interestingly people going through a drug withdrawal show the exact same symptoms (Fisher, 2017). Why? Because love is the ultimate drug and you are addicted.
Your brain is addicted to your ex. To cure this addiction you have to go cold turkey. Will it be dreadful? YES. Is it necessary? Yes. You might think keeping in contact as friends will cushion the blow. In the long term, it will be more painful to be their friend because you will see them moving on without you. Talking to them is like re-opening a wound over and over again.
This is actually the hardest part since you are literally fighting against your basic human instinct I talked about earlier that prevents the loss of a loved one. Your brain is screaming at you "WE NEED TO GET THEM BACK! CALL THEM, TEXT THEM etc". Once we fear we are losing a loved one our brain will try to do everything to get them back. If a bear was running off with them, then it would have helped but in this case, reaching out to them will further push them back. They want some space from you right now.
This includes stalking them on social media, don't do it. It complicates your healing since you are reopening a wound over and over again. Easier said than done though. If you really struggle with this, maybe try to ween off it slowly. Let yourself see their fb twice a week at first, then twice in two weeks etc. Slowly ween off doing it at all. I suggest unfollowing them at least.
Coincidentally, No Contact is the same move to make if you want to win them back. It is a double-edged sword. Whether you want them back or heal your heart OR BOTH. Your best move is to go No Contact.
6) Using No Contact to get them back
You might be wondering that if you do no contact, they might actually forget about you and move on. WRONG! How many times do you think about water a day? Not a lot. Lets just imagine that your house runs out of water, the whole city runs out of water. All you can think about now is water. You are thirsty, you want to take a shower, you want to cook....the lack of water has forced you to think of it. Its the scarcity effect, we long for things that are scarce more than we long for things that are plenty (Cialdini, 2014). Hence, no contact makes your ex think about you way more than they would have if you kept badgering them. You need to be completely out of the picture for them to miss you. They must feel your void.
You might feel that begging them to come back would work, it won't. They have already made the decision to leave you and prepared for you to react like this. You think you can reason with them to take you back. You can't. Because right now they aren't emotionally neutral enough to hear any logical arguments.
Why can't you convince them? Its because they have made a decision already. Humans want to stay consistent with their decisions due to the consistency principle (Cialdini, 2014). The decision to break up is not made logically, its made emotionally, hence using logic to reason with them is useless.
Hence, you can't change their mind right now. The only person that can change their minds is themselves. You help them do that by going No Contact.
Show yourself that you respect yourself enough to NOT chase after someone who left you. Neediness is unattractive, show your ex that you don't need them. Here are more reasons to not chase them.
- When they broke up with you, they expected you to still be in the sidelines as a friend or something. So they don't have to fear losing you. Well, don't give them what they expect, leave the situation. Vanish out of her life completely. So they start actually fearing that they might lose you. Fear of loss is a great motivation for action in humans since we are loss averse (Kahneman, 2011). This will make it more likely they will want to get back with you.
- You not being in their loop anymore, causes them to get curious about you. After curiosity comes attraction. When their attraction towards you has reached a level, they will contact you.
- They actually start respecting you since they assumed you were going to beg and plead. Respect is essential for attraction.
- Over time, they will forget all the negative things about you and the situation that made them break up with you. Negative memories lose their intensity faster than positive ones. As more time passes, you will look better due to the faded affect bias (Gibbons, 2011)
7) How to actually do "No contact"
When my ex broke up with me I could not believe what was happening. This was the closest thing to hell I have ever experienced. I have been hit hard by life many times. But this punch, it nearly killed me. Nothing could ever prepare me for this. It was absolute agony. I would go to sleep and start dreaming about being together with her. I would wake up and realize the reality of the situation and start bawling like a mad man (thats a positive though, you should cry it out). All my dreams I had with her were all shattered. I didn't know what to do. The life I planned with her is nothing but a sad memory now. I started researching and went down the rabbit hole of "Win your ex back". I found out about the no contact policy and started doing it.
The first seven days were brutal. The only thing I told myself was "Just survive the first 7 days". Every inch of my body wanted to reach out to her. To beg her to come back. I knew it wouldn't work. So through sheer will and determination, I didn't reach out to her. As I explained before, my brain was in fight or flight. I was also suffering from withdrawal symptoms of love. I just told myself, "Survive 7 days". That is all I did. I survived 7 days at a time. Maybe you can only survive 1 day at a time. Do that! Tell yourself that "Okay okay, I will contact them in a month". Then when a month rolls by "Okay, next month I will contact her". Then when the next month rolls by tell yourself "Okay, I will contact her in the next 3 months". The trick is to lie to yourself that you will contact them eventually but you never will. (That includes not contacting them on birthdays, holidays, valentine's day, death of a loved one etc). People that join the '12 steps program', are not told to NEVER drink again. That is putting the goal post way out of your reach. The addicts are instructed to NOT drink one day at a time, then a week, then a month, then a year, and then finally for a lifetime.
Another trick I used was to believe that if I did contact them. I would push them farther back and lose them forever. Which is true, breaking no contact will lower your chances of getting them back.
Another trick I used was the progress meter. For every month I took a piece of A4 size paper and drew 30 squares (Each square represents a day). I hung it on my bedroom wall. After each day was over I would put a tick mark on one of the 30 boxes. The tick mark is meant to signify that I have finished another day while following no contact. Once you complete 7 days, it looks really nice, like you have completed a streak. Keeping your streak can be a huge motivator for not breaking no contact (Clear, 2018). It gives you a sense of accomplishment and keeps you on track, you will think twice before breaking your streak. After you tick marked all 30 days, take yourself out for a date, and treat yourself. Then hang up another A4 size paper and keep repeating the process. One day you will tell yourself, "I really don't care anymore to tick mark a box for not contacting my ex", that's the day you can stop. You will stop when you become completely indifferent. The opposite of love isn't hate, its indifference.
This will no doubt be the hardest thing you have ever done. You are fighting against your basic human instincts (to connect and reunite) that has been instilled into us since the beginning of time.. You are fighting the neurological mechanism that was set in place to KEEP your loved ones. Hence, the difficulty.
Bonus trick to keep doing no contact (Might not be the healthiest way, but it works). Use only if you are really struggling with no contact. You need to get into the devil mindset.
Realize they have stabbed you through the heart. You are in pain because of them. Time for you to strike back. The best way for them to feel the pain and consequences of losing you is to keep NOT contacting them. Put them in a state of doubt about their decision by not reaching out to them. Let them feel the pain. Remember, if you break no contact. You will stop their pain but we don't want that, do we? In the first few months, they will be fine but slowly they will start feeling the hurt. Is this mindset petty? Yes. But it is way better than contacting them and ruining the chances of healing and/or getting them back. Your last words before starting no-contact should be kind, not anything mean. If you insult or demean them, you will come off as immature and petty. Making them less doubtful about their decision.
For true healing, your no-contact needs to come from a healthier place. After a period, abandon this "devil mindset", see your ex with compassionate curiosity and forgive them. The last thing they wanted to do was to hurt you but there was no other way.
8) Why you should reject their offer of friendship
Sometimes the dumper doesn't want to be so cruel so they try to be your friend. To reduce their guilt and reduce their pain of losing you. Don't give them that. Let them feel the pain of losing you. If you want them back or if you want to move on, the best way is to let them go. They need to miss you, to want you again. The dumper has all the power in this breakup, since they are rejecting you. Take back a little of that power by rejecting their offer of friendship. Do you really want to see them dating new people and asking for your advice? You might think that if you are around her she won't move on and she will realize what an amazing person you are and get back with you. WRONG! What ends up happening is they start categorizing you as a friend rather than a romantic interest. Let's avoid that. You need to let them know that if they want to get back into your life. They can only get back as a romantic interest. Nothing less, nothing more.
9) Stop trying to find the "Real" reason for the breakup
You are going through every conversation you had with her. You are analyzing her texts, you are asking your friends "Could she have left because I didn't share my custard with her on our 12th date ?" You feel like you are Sherlock Holmes, figuring out clues that will lead you to the "real" reason. In reality, they don't even know why they broke up with you. They have an idea of why, but the reason is more emotional than logical so they can't give you a really good reason. I get it, you want closure. The only person that can give you closure is you! Think, think hard why they left you. Write it down on a piece of paper and just learn to accept it. General incompatibility? Poor communication? Lack of time spent? Circumstance? Mental health issues? What do YOU think the reason was? What does your heart tell you? Mystery solved. Remember, if you do reach out to them and try to get closure, no matter what they tell you. It will never be enough.
10) Don't blame yourself
We tend to blame ourselves and our imperfections for the breakup. This person didn't just reject you, they rejected you after knowing you inside out. That is why it hurts so much. There is nothing fundamentally wrong with you! Yes, you aren't perfect. You have your flaws. You deserve someone that stays with you regardless of your flaws, not someone who refuses to work on them with you. Sometimes people break up because of the circumstances. It has nothing to do with you. It might just be a bad time and place. All that being said, you deserve someone that makes every excuse to be with you. Not someone who makes every excuse to NOT be with you. Life is hard and complicated, relationships aren't ideal all the time. It's easy to stay in a relationship during the good times, but hard to stay in it in the bad times. The bad times are the times that show you if the other person is worth it or not.
11) Don't idealize your Ex and put them on a pedestal
Drug addicts in withdrawal often highlight only the positives of the drug they were addicted to (Winch, 2018). They conveniently forget how that drug turned their life upside down. People who got dumped do that too. I am not saying your ex turned your life upside down but they weren't perfect. Write down their flaws and things that annoyed you on a piece of paper. Write down what may have attracted you to them but later made you feel like shit. For example, you might have liked the fact they were dominant, but later on it just felt like they were very controlling. When you think about her again, focus on her flaws.
Them dumping you might intensify your feelings towards them. This feeling is not based entirely on love, it's based on adversity. Scientists made a monkey expect treats at a certain time. When they stopped giving them the treat to study its effect on dopamine in their brain. The monkeys thrashed around in fury. Nothing odd about that, but the odd thing was the monkey's brain produced more dopamine when the monkey did NOT get the treat. This extra dopamine meant that the monkey's want for the treat increased when he did not get his treat that he expected. This is called Frustration Attraction (Fisher). We long for things way more when we expect it but don't get it. You expected your ex to be in your life, them not being there anymore made you want them even more. Your love did not increase. This is frustration attraction in play. Don't confuse this with genuine attraction.
12) Don't change your life to avoid pain
Don't avoid the restaurants you used to go to. Don't avoid the activities you used to do together. Yes, when you go to the restaurant you used to go to together might be painful at first. But after a few times, you bring your friends there or even a new date there. Your brain starts creating new memories with that restaurant and the new memories override the old memories and you feel much better. Sure, it was where you and your ex used to have tea but now its where you and your friends spill the tea. You guys used to do yoga together? Try doing it alone or with someone else. Obviously don't resume activities just after the breakup but eventually get to that point.
13) Get rid of the reminders of them
Your ex already occupies your mind a lot. let's not let them haunt you physically too. If they have given you gifts, love letters, old pictures of them etc. We need to remove them. Yes, for the time being at least. Keep them in a box and shove it down a room or place you don't go to. *However these old mementos are very useful to induce crying. I used my ex's love letter to cry my heart out, I read it over and over. Then one day it wasn't really helping me cry, so I decided to get rid of it. Yes, I burned it. It felt pretty awesome and cathartic. So do get rid of these old mementos eventually, no rush. Holding onto vivid reminders of them does not let your wound heal properly. Getting rid of them signals your brain to let go. Its a short term sacrifice for a long term gain. A lot of people report an immediate boost in mood after they purged the physical reminders (Winch, 2018). This also includes their photos on your phone. YES, even the nudes. Let it go.
14) Be compassionate to yourself
Develop a non-judgmental inner voice that is actually kind to you. Instead of beating yourself up with insults, talk to yourself kinder. If you have a thought like "I can't even open a ketchup bottle easily, I am such a wonder she left me", counter this thought with "I am only human and these ketchup bottles are really complex these days, I am not a dumbass.". Respond to the mistakes you make with compassion. Write down all the bad things you say to yourself in a day and look at it. Think about it. Would you ever tell a good friend these things? No. Then don't tell them to yourself.
15) Fill the void with Self Improvement
Now you feel like there is a huge void in your life. Your ex might have been a big part of your life. Fill that void up by adopting a new hobby, learning a new skill, or any passion of yours you wanted to always try but didn't have the time to. Don't fret if you don't have a hobby or a new skill to learn. The journey to finding these things is an awesome adventure on its own. It took me a long while to realize that I really love human psychology and self-improvement books. Read! READ! Increase your knowledge and unlock your full potential. Commit yourself to become a better person. So you don't make the same mistakes you did in your last relationship. Life is about growth but that can't happen without failure. A child doesn't learn how to walk without falling a hundred times first. I will have a recommended book list at the end of the article.
16) Don't "Get busy" to avoid thinking about them
All you are doing is delaying your pain by distracting yourself from thinking about them. Let the thoughts about them come. If you can't cry. Close your eyes and focus on the pain. Be with the body, don't judge the pain. Just notice it. Keep noticing it, till it goes away. That is how you process your pain to go through you and not get buried.
17) Battle the obsession of your ex with mindful meditation
Every waking moment of your day is filled by ruminating about your ex. You will think about them 24/7 for a while. No need to panic. It's totally normal. One thing that can help you do this less is mindful meditation. Mindful meditation is linked to a million other benefits for your physical and mental health, so it's a no brainer (Cho, 2016). You also need to understand that it takes a while for you to get the hang of it. Try using the headspace app's trial feature to learn how to do it.
18) Talk to a professional (therapist)
A break up is a tumultuous time for anyone. Hence seeking professional help isn't the worst idea. When someone breaks up with us, we don't just grieve for our ex. We start grieving for every attachment trauma we ever endured in our lives. Grief is like picking up a paper clip that is connected to other paper clips. You can't grief for your ex alone, you will unconsciously end up grieving about all your attachment trauma. A good therapist can help you through that process.
19) Rely on all your social support systems
Feeling sad? Reach out to friends and family to vent. Sometimes just straight up tell them that you just want to vent and don't want their advice. Your loved ones are here for you to utilize them. But do give them breaks from venting here and there. They are human and they sometimes can get tired of your break up story.
20) Rebuild your identity
When we are in a relationship we tend to merge our identities with our other half. That is why we feel so lost when they leave us. We are so used to having them as our "better" half's that we forget who we were when we never met them in the first place. Maybe you gave up a hobby or activity when you were dating them to have more time with them. Now is the best time to reclaim that part of yourself that you lost when you guys were dating. It is also the best time to figure out who you are and what you truly want. If you always wanted to travel and live in some country for a few months but you couldn't because you were in a committed relationship, now is the perfect opportunity to do so. You aren't tethered by anyone, fly free.
21) Get some physical exercise
Well, the first few months of the breakup I guess its okay if you don't work out at all since you might be too depressed to get out of bed or have any motivation to do anything (I couldn't get up for two months, some other people were fine after a week. So heal in your own time, again there is no timeline to grieve). But eventually, I want you to start exercising regularly to pump your brain with all those feel-good chemicals. 15 to 30 min a day is a good start, hell even just 5 min is great. You can try yoga too if working out isn't your thing. Becoming a bit sexier in the process is a pretty good bonus too.
22) Write letters to them but don't actually send it to them
Write however many letters you want. Write whatever you want to write. Whatever you ever wanted to say to them. Go ahead and say it in the letter. Pour your heart out, leave nothing unsaid. I personally used tape recorders rather than letters. I got too lazy and used the voice recorder on my phone to have a "pretend" one-sided conversation. It felt really good afterward. It cleared my head and gave me a bit of closure. But eventually, burn these letters and delete these recordings by also "Thanking them and forgiving them" in your own words. Every time you burn a letter, thank them and forgive them. You don't need to hold this grudge your whole life, it's not good for you. Forgiving is not for them, its for your own healing. No matter what they did, you have to be able to forgive them eventually. In your own time! There is no time limit. Remember to forgive yourself too for the mistakes you might have made, you are only human after all.
23) Start Journaling
At the end of everyday write or (record your feelings). It helps you process your feelings better. Write about how you feel. Are you feeling sad? Angry? Confused? Putting them down on paper takes a bit of the emotional intensity off you. The first few months you should journal every day but as time goes on, decrease your frequency. After a 3 or 6 month period read your early journal entries and compare them to your most recent journal entries and you will notice how much better you are doing, which will give you a much-needed boost to healing.
24) Start a gratitude journal
Yes, I bet you heard that a million times already. It does increase your happiness quotient (Connor, 2010). Make a habit of listing three things you are grateful for before you go to sleep. When you say these things actually feel it and let the joy of that thing warm you up. It could be as little thing as the dinner you had that day or it could be something really special such as being grateful for your parents.
25) Set ambitious new goals for your life
Is there something you always wanted to do or be? Set your horizons on it and start chasing your new hopes and dreams.
26) Start Dating again
You would eventually want to start dating again. Have fun with your single life. Have some exciting romantic encounters with some girl on vacation. Flirt with that handsome guy at the bar. Have fun, enjoy yourself. Take it slow and be wary of any early red flags. Trust your gut. Maybe you knew your ex was an alcoholic but still went out with him. Don't make the same mistakes you made last time. But if you want to stay single for a while, that is okay too. Do you, there is no right or wrong here. Think of dating as a source of possible romantic interests, it keeps the pressure off you.
27) Antidote to Suffering
In my lowest moments after the breakup. I had symptoms of clinical depression. I couldn't get out of bed. All I would do is sleep. Some days I would lie in my bed awake riddled with agonizing anxiety. To make things worse my obsessive-compulsive disorder was acting up too. I simply did not have the energy to manage it anymore as I used to. I gave up my will to live a couple of times. I stopped eating and drinking. I just couldn't take it anymore. I wanted to die but I didn't have the energy to commit suicide so I thought it be best to die starving in my bed. Waking up was a pain, going through my days were a pain. One morning a thought occurred to me that gave me the will to live again "I have to save others from this pain and suffering, I can't do that if I am dead. I am going to become the world's greatest therapist and help people with OCD and breakups, I have to live!" From that moment on, I started getting up and eating and drinking water more regularly and then going back to bed to sleep all day. Slowly but surely, I would sleep less on the day and get more things done. I didn't get this thought because I am some Mother Theresa or anything. It was for selfish reasons. I needed a reason to live. I needed meaning for my suffering to survive and withstand it.
The antidote to suffering is finding meaning in it. This is not my wisdom. Its what I learned reading Viktor Frankl's Man's search for meaning. "A man who has a why can endure any how", this famous quote of Nietzsche gives more support to this idea. The meaning of your life must be more specific though. You have to have a meaning and purpose that nobody else other than you can fulfill. You can't just say "I want to help people", sure that is noble but it's not specific enough. You want to help people? But how? There are millions of ways to help people, what's the way you would like to help them? Which way would let you help them the best? My purpose and meaning are helping people with a very specific kind of OCD. Its called Purely obsessional OCD, this ocd has no physical compulsions, only mental ones. A lot of therapists and psychiatrists don't know how to address it properly. I want to change that. I also want to help people going through breakups. Especially dumpees who are anxiously attached. Breakups are extra hard on these types of people. To achieve this goal I am happy to suffer. I will keep on going regardless of how bad and hard it gets.
Find the meaning of your suffering. Do you want to create amazing art that will make people think deeply? Do you want to direct a documentary exposing a problem? Do you just want to make old people at the nursery home smile more? It can be whatever you want it to. Ask yourself, if you would gladly suffer for this purpose? If the answer is 'No', don't pursue that. The agony you are experiencing currently will be more bearable after you start taking steps to find and pursue your meaning.
However, you might be in the team who thinks everything is inherently meaningless. Nothing really matters. There is no meaning in life. There is no meaning in our suffering. All the pain and agony our ancestors went through to build the foundation of this world is meaningless. All the people that suffered without surrendering their morals in the holocaust were wasting their time. All the people that refused to turn in their friends in the face of brutal torture in the gulags made a stupid choice.
All the people that died for a better world wasted their lives because it doesn't mean anything. How about all the people that sacrificed their happiness for the good of humanity? Were their lives meaningless? The only reason we still exist is because of the sacrifices that were made by our ancestors through blood, sweat, and a lot of tears. We are only standing because we are standing on their corpses. Billions of billions of corpses. Is it all meaningless? Are their lives and deaths meaningless? NO! They weren't. It is us, the living that must give their suffering meaning! After we are dead, our future generations will look back to us for their meaning. Therefore I think it is our responsibility to pursue meaning to respect our ancestor's sacrifice. If we don't, it will deem all their suffering meaningless!
A prisoner in Auschwitz was told to get into the gas chamber. At that time it was just a rumor that people died in the showers. Most of the victims didn't know or didn't want to believe that it was true. But somehow this man knew what fate awaited him. He smuggled a piece of paper and wrote "Shema Yisrael" (it's traditional for Jewish people to say this as last words) and stuffed it in his shirt, then he undressed. He walked into the chamber upright and with dignity and before the gas was released his last words were also probably "Shema Yisrael". In this context Shema means "listen", Yisrael means "people (or congregation of Israel)". Its a prayer in Judaism. It's traditional for Jewish people to say this as their last words. But why did this man have to write it in a piece of paper? Couldn't he just have said "Shema Yisrael" before he died? Why did he need to go through all the trouble to smuggle a piece of paper and use his own blood to write this?
He was trying to send a message to humanity as a whole. He was trying to talk to the people that survived. He was trying to talk to us. He was trying to say "Listen people, do you see me? I have been through a lot here. But it didn't ruin my faith in god. Don't lose faith. Don't lose hope. Suffer with dignity." This is how I interpreted it to fit my own narrative. You can do the same. Every time I reach a very low spot mental health-wise and I don't think I can take it anymore. I say to myself, "Shema Yisrael" and remember this man and his message. After I say these words I immediately feel better. It doesn't lower my pain, it increases my ability to withstand it. He found meaning in his death by sending this message to us. I took his message and used it to handle my pain. I am writing this article because of my own pain, if this article helps you. You give meaning to all the pain I been through. Thank you for giving my pain meaning. I hope this breakup teaches you things that you can pass on to someone else so they give meaning to your suffering.
Loved this post? Give my podcast a listen. I go into more depth, share more advice and interesting personal stories. (Its FREE!)
Inspiration for this paragraph
- Man's Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl
- The Gulag of Archipelago by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
- The Story Of Civilization by Will and Ariel Durant
- Attack on Titans season 3 episode 16 "Erwin's Speech"
*I will also make individual posts about all the points I made here in the coming weeks.
Book Recommendations:
- How to Win friends and Influence people by Dale Carnegie
- Atomic Habits by James Clear
- Can't Hurt Me by David Goggins
- 12 Rules for life by Jordan Peterson
- Subtle art of not giving a fuck by Mark Manson
Buss, D. M. (2019). Evolutionary psychology: the new science of the mind. New York: Routledge.Cho, J. (2016, July 14).
6 Scientifically Proven Benefits Of Mindfulness And Meditation. Retrieved from
Cialdini, R. B. (2014). Influence: science and practice. Harlow, Essex: Pearson.
Clear, J. (2018). Atomic habits: tiny changes. New York: Avery, an imprint of Penguin Random House.
OConnor, R. (2010). Happy at last. New York: St. Martins Griffin.
Winch, G. (2018). How to Fix a Broken Heart. Simon & Schuster.
Zeki, S.(2007), The neurobiology of love, FEBS Letters, 581, doi: 10.1016/j.febslet.2007.03.094
Kahneman, D. (2011). Thinking, fast and slow. New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux.
Gibbons, J. A., Lee, S. A. and Walker, W. R. (2011), The fading affect bias begins within 12 hours and persists for 3 months. Appl. Cognit. Psychol., 25: 663-672. doi:10.1002/acp.1738
Fisher, H. E. (2017). Anatomy of love.New York: W.W. Norton & Company.
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First Contact Second Wave - Chapter 177

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T'Nok was born a warrior caste male. As large as a Terran warborg at just over three meters, his blade arms were thick and highly honed, his gripping hands were strong, and his legs were thick and powerful. Before the P'Thok Liberation he would have undoubtedly been eaten during his first mating, his coloration and physique and intellect making him highly desirable. His cranium was well developed and his school scores put him at the top of his classes. The tattoo on his abdomen from the Bongistan University of Lumbering Meat Beast Ford was a source of pride for him and his sash proclaimed to every female and male who saw him that he was not only a prime physical specimen but his intellect made him highly desirable. The fact that he was a reknown crysteel architect made him wealthy and highly sought after to grow the elaborate living crystal domiciles the higher caste females so preferred. More than a females would see him and clean their bladearms while they stared at him.
Which was why he was glad that birth control and ice cream was a thing. He liked his head.
He had been designing a particularly challenging birthing chamber for a shipping company matron and decided to go out and enjoy a bowl of ice cream, perhaps even a banana split, to relax and sweep load bearing computations from his mind. On the trip in his comfortable travel-disc he loaded his favorite game and spent time arranging coins just right for a virtual Terran monkey to grab as it bounced off of walls and objects. It helped discharge the formula from his datalink implant and reset his nervous system.
The ice cream parlor that he preferred was high end and upscale. The bench seats were made of red dyed animal skins in an arcane process that produced soft but firm red leather. All of the edges of surfaces were made of chrome. Each table had a delightful radio that ensured that those sitting at the booths could listen to old style Treana'ad music as the waitresses, wearing large wigs and elaborate white costumes, would roll around on the skates on all four of their legs. He liked the coloration of the ice cream artist working that day, her skill with carving ice cream floats with her sterilized bladearms made him hum in satisfaction.
The sight of the backdrop, showing a Treana'ad on a long board, balancing with an ice cream cone in one hand and a cigarette on the other, as he used the board to skim along the inside of an ocean wave, reminded him that he was going to go foot-disc or foot-board surfing with some friends next week. He double-checked his implant to make sure the appointment was locked in. His friends had all certified their RSVP's and while he waited for the waitress he made sure to order high quality bonfire wood, special order ice cream, and actual Terran Dark Continent Wonderbeast steaks to cook over the open flame.
The waitress took his order, a rainbow tower of sherbet, left him a complimentary cigarette and book of matches, and skated away, tapping her bladearms together in tune with the jaunty song that was playing.
"Hey, T'Nok," came a voice.
Crap, it's J'Vik, T'Nok thought to himself. He found the other Treana'ad somewhat boorish, with poor taste in ice-cream and worse taste in poetry that he tried to inflict upon everyone around him. The problem was, like T'Nok, J'Vik was warrior-caste born, which meant that T'Nok had to be at least polite to him in public. Only J'Vik fancied himself a 'warrior poet' and suffered a fundamental misunderstanding of what that actually meant.
T'Nok looked up and saw that J'Vik was wearing a beatnik on his head. One of those flattened hats the humans called berets. Which T'Nok thought was funny, since the phonetic sounds of 'beret' meant 'delicious looking' in his native language.
Only J'Vik would walk around proclaiming that his head looked delicious with his hat, T'Nok mused, managing to keep from laughing by lighting a cigarette.
The other male sat down and T'Nok made a mental bet with himself that the other male would try to stick T'Nok with the tab.
"Did you hear the news? Everyone is talking about it," J'Vik said, completely unaware of the three barely mature females in the next booth over snickering about his hat and wondering if his head was as delicious as J'Vik was claiming. All three of them had the shiny carapaces of someone who had molted within the last week.
Two of them were wondering if they should lure the 'warrior poet' back to their nests, share him, and then discuss on the satisfaction they got from the taste, consistency, and volume of J'Vik's head.
T'Nok calmed his anxiety over the three females, who would undoubtedly eat a male's head, birth control or no birth control, just because their just matured primal instinct told them too, and enjoy a nice bowl of chocolate fudge cheesecake ripple afterwards.
Barely mature females were dangerous, everyone knew that, but there was always 'That Guy' who thought that his head was armor plated.
All of his life T'Nok had been careful not to be 'That Guy'. He'd known a few.
J'Vik definitely fell in the "That Guy" category.
"I have been busy with my work. My client is most eager for me to complete my work," T'Nok said, exhaling smoke through his forward legs.
"Got a smoke?" J'Vik asked.
"Alas, I did not bring a pack along. Perhaps when you order?" T'Nok said.
"Here, I have one," one of the females said, leaning over the back of the bench and offering a menthol cigarette. "You can have it," she said, staring at J'Vik's beatnik.
The other two slowly cleaned their bladearms with their mandibles, their compound eyes sparkling as they watched their friend offer the cigarette.
"Thank you, pretty," J'Vik said, fluttering his antenna at the female.
She turned around with a titter and rubbing her wings together, looking smugly at her two companions, as J'Vik lit the menthol.
Don't be That Guy, T'Nok thought to himself.
"I'm surprised you didn't hear. It's pretty big news, especially for your caste," J'Vik said somewhat smugly.
"You are too concerned with castes," T'Nok said, shaking his head. "We are free of castes."
"Mm-hmm,' J'Vik said, making T'Nok want to roll his eyes but his eyes weren't designed in such a way. "Easy for you to say."
J'Vik preened for a moment.
Oh, warrior, who has everything he pleases
Cannot I have a bowl that you have not cleaned
For I am but a worker
In this society of ours
J'Vik said. He preened for a moment, ignorant of the giggling of the three females and the flat out laughter from two matrons watching over a clutch of a dozen little hatchlings.
"I wrote that," J'Vik said.
"You're not worker caste," T'Nok reminded him.
"Poetry transcends caste," J'Vik said, smugly cleaning his antenna with his bladearms.
T'Nok tapped his bladearms in a shrug. "I am not one for poetry," T'Nok said. Not quite true, he quite enjoyed Hard Core Rigellian Saurian Gangster Rap. He particularly enjoyed the recent poetry-song 'I got yer eggs right here, suckah' by the Big Tail Ganstas.
"You caste often is not," J'Vik said. "Still, I would have thought that you would be excited by the news."
T'Nok gave a sigh. "What news?"
"The Confederacy voted to go to war this morning," J'Vik said, excitement in his voice.
T'Nok froze. He had to close his opaque eye-shields for moment as the horror rolled through his mind. History requirements in school had ensured he'd been exposed to plenty of media he would have preferred to avoid.
Only someone like J'Vik would be happy that uncounted sentient beings will kill each other, he thought to himself.
"You're excited, I can tell," J'Vik said. "I knew that news would speak to you and excite you."
"Have you ever been to TerraSol?" T'Nok asked carefully. He signalled one of the waitresses to bring him a pack of smokes, changed his mind, and asked for a powersmoker, a 'vape' as the humans called it along with a swamp-apple flavored cartridge.
J'Vik gripped his hands together in a frown. "Why? Oh, because the Terrans will undoubtedly be fighting in the war?"
T'Nok had to resist the urge to hold the smaller male down and allow the three females to eat his head.
"I take it you'll be signing up right away?" J'Vik asked.
T'Nok managed not to sigh, turning and thanking the waitress for the power-smoker and tipping her a handful of credits for her ability not to snicker at J'Vik's beatnik.
"Why would I do that? I don't know one end of a power-rifle from the other," T'Nok said, shrugging again. "I'm sure the Confederate Military can get along just find without me dropping my rifle and accidentally shooting off my own genitals."
That made the three girls snicker as they slowly cleaned/sharpened their bladearms, still staring at J'Vik's hat.
"But the Confederacy is going to war," J'Vik actually sounded confused that T'Nok hadn't jumped up, ran out into the parking lot, and immediately fired off a power-rifle into the air.
"Which is a profession and activity best left to skilled professionals," T'Nok shrugged. "The closest I've been to warfare is I watched the episode of The Nitrogen Seven when they robbed the Terran Army base only to discover that they'd just stolen a bunch of Terran pornographic magazines instead of the Commander's secret ice cream recipe, and that series is a Tri-Vid comedy."
"Well," J'Vik preened with smugness for a moment. "I heard they're going to start a draft. I'm sure such a prime specimen of the warrior caste such as yourself will be right at the top of the list."
T'Nok shook his head. "A draft is as likely as," he stopped himself from saying 'You writing decent poetry' and instead got out "the Digital Omnimessiah appearing in the bathroom to bless the faucets."
The females giggled to each other.
"It's all the talk on the Net Boards," J'Vik said.
"I would suggest not spending so much time on the Boards," T'Nok scoffed. "Just last week you were telling me that there was going to be a chocolate shortage by now, but here we are and the prices are the same."
"Peak chocolate is real," J'Vik said, straightening up, his wings rubbing in anxiety.
"Pfft, you sound like a Precursor," T'Nok said. "There is only enough chocolate for me."
The girls snickered again.
"Well, of course, you wouldn't notice any shortages. Your caste never does," J'Vik said.
T'Nok took a long pull off of the power-smoker and exhaled through his legs, feeling irritation rise up.
If we were still having castes, I'd tear your bladearms off by now, he thought to himself. No, not my education, not my years of study and hard work even sacrificing social gatherings, but no, it's all my caste, all my coloration and size. It doesn't even matter we're the same caste to you.
"Hmmph, you're feeling annoyed because you know I'm right," J'Vik said, his antenna flicking with smug assurance.
"You realize you're warrior caste too," T'Nok pointed out. He didn't point out that J'Vik would have been eaten as a hatchling if the caste system was still in place.
J'Vik might have been warrior caste but his coloration was poor, he was small for a male, and his vestigial wings were off pitch when he rubbed them. Worse than that, his poetry was execrable and he had put off education to create poetry and live off of his parent's wealth.
That made J'Vik sit quietly for a moment. The waitress came by and J'Vik ordered a triple chocolate destructor bomb with double-fudge.
She didn't leave a complimentary cigarette and T'Nok almost busted out laughing.
"When are you signing up for the war?" J'Vik said once both of their ice cream had been delivered. The three barely mature females had ordered half-bowls and were giggled to each other, still eyeing J'Vik's head. J'Vik, of course, started eating his ice cream like it was going to vanish while T'Nok savored his, letting it partially melt and mix properly.
"Never. Me joining the military would be suspected of an enemy plot," T'Nok answered. "I would be so incompetent as a warrior they would suspect me to be an enemy agent."
"I figured you'd be braver," J'Vik said, pushing his empty bowl away. "Where's your caste pride?"
That made T'Nok sit up straight, reaching for the power-smoker to mask his pheromones of anger. "Don't go there, J'Vik. You and I are the same birth-caste, but that does not give you the right to insult me."
"Insult is never given only taken," J'Vik quoted, sounding smug. "I thought a prime example of the warrior caste such as yourself would be more inured against perceived insults."
Really? Quoting Terran stoicism at me? Well, let's see about that. I've about had it with your subtle insults, T'Nok thought, not bothering to pick up the power-smoker in order to let the other male realize how angry T'Nok was.
"J'Vik, if you feel your ability to attract mates is so threatened by my very existence to the point of attempting to goad me into joining a profession I would be incompetent at, in hopes I would be killed in some far off struggle, then perhaps you should attempt to reconcile that with the obvious issue that you are too cowardly to sign up to go to war despite being warrior caste yourself," T'Nok said, tapping the edge of his spoon on the bowl.
Every female in the ice cream parlor, even the waitresses, burst out laughing. The high pitched squeals, the humming of wings, even the chirping of matrons rubbing their back legs together filled the parlor.
J'Vik went completely still.
Finish him! T'Nok heard in his mind and he tapped his ice cream bowl with a bladearm tip making it ring as he continued speaking, delivering the final bladearm thrust.
"I'm sure if the enemy attacks you can drive them off with that detestable whining you insist is poetry that you instead inflict upon us all every time you see another male that appears to be content with his own life due to the glorious fact that he is not you," T'Nok finished.
Even the other males joined in with the laughter.
"Ice pack for table nine to treat that burn!" A male called out.
"Confederate statutes don't allow you to own someone like that!" a female laughed.
"Quick, molt your shell and run off before he realizes your husk isn't you!" another female giggled.
Someone threw the image of J'Vik up on the ice cream parlor's display with the caption "LOCAL MALE MURDERED BY WORDS" underneath. The image of J'Vik looked up as a shadow covered him just in time to be crushed by the words "U R PO-EHT!"
J'Vik didn't move the entire time, pheromones of anger rolling off of him.
The three barely mature females sniffed the air and perked up, clicking their mandibles and rubbing their bladearms together in excitement. One dipped the tip of her bladearm in the ice cream in front of her and carefully cleaned it as she stared at J'Vik's head.
When the laughter died J'Vik slowly looked around, then back at T'Nok.
"You're caste..." he started loudly.
"We're the same birth-caste, J'Vik," T'Nok answered slightly louder. T'Nok held up his gripping hands and flexed his fingers.
"Insult is only taken never given," T'Nok quoted back.
"How dare you insult me in such a manner," J'Vik said. "That quote is not meant for someone intentionally insulting someone the way you have."
"Put up," T'Nok said, raising his gripping hands and flexed his fingers. He flexed his wrists. "Or shut up," T'Nok finished.
J'Vik clattered out of the booth. "A Gripping Hand Challenge it is, then, T'Nok. In the parking lot. Right now."
"Traditionally I would choose the location," T'Nok said, moving out of the bench seat. "But that's fine with me."
J'Vik was opening and closing his gripping hands, obviously trying to impress everyone with his grip.
The matrons, mature females, and the three just mature females all hurried out of the ice-cream parlor with almost unseemly haste. The mixing of anger pheromones of two males making the veins in their wings flush with blood.
Even the waitresses and ice cream sculptors came out.
The males of course, hung back. Not wanting to get involved.
A matron, a half-dozen small hatchlings hanging on her abdomen, moved forward with grace and elegance. She sniffed at the air, tasting the anger pheromones in the air.
"Can this only be settled by challenge and not a cigarette and conversation?" She asked. "Perhaps a cigarette or two will mask the scent of your anger and allow you to discuss your emotions with more cultural maturity than you are feeling now?"
"If J'Vik wishes to submit I will accept," T'Nok said, looming over the smaller warrior-caste male.
Several of the females breathed deep.
"Insulted I have been
"Words cutting most cruel
"I will not remain
"Insulted without response," J'Vik quoted poetry that made several of the females snicker. He looked around almost smugly. "I created that."
More giggles and J'Vik went rigid.
"Gripping hand challenge it is," the matron said. The little ones one her back raised up their bladearms in joy, their immature minds reacting to the angry pheromones in the air.
One had ice-cream on his head, between his eyes.
T'Nok held still as J'Vik moved into position. They locked hands, interlacing fingers. Their bladearms clashed, held away from each other's bodies and pointed away from one another.
The matron lifted up a handkerchief and waved it between the two males.
Several cars had stopped to watch. Challenges were exciting to witness. They were less common over the last few centuries, but still occured with enough frequency that they could not be outlawed.
The handkerchief fell from her hand and danced away on the breeze. The larger of the three just-mature females hurried over and picked it up, bringing it to her face and inhaling deeply as she moved back over to her friends and passed it to the next biggest one.
T'Nok didn't notice. He just locked his wrists and tensed his fingers as he pushed out and down with his bladearms.
You're grip is nothing. I used to play this with my drunk frat-brothers in Bongistan, T'Nok thought to himself as the other male squeezed tightly, attempted to twist T'Nok's wrists backward, and pushed ineffectively with his bladearms.
Getting a Doctorate in Architectural Engineering with a minor in Materials Science had required over a decade of study, and during that time T'Nok had tempered his natural aggressiveness by socializing with his Terran Descent Human school mates.
A matron tittered as J'Vik had to open his wings slightly to breathe as he kept struggling to move T'Nok's wrists or bladearms.
"Yield," T'Nok ordered. The sun was shimmering down, warming him, and the sweetness of the day's nitrogen level gave him strength.
"No," J'Vik's feet ground against the tarmac as he attempted to lean into the gripping contest. The way his back feet scrabbled on the pavement made several females giggle and the smell of his anger increased.
T'Nok began to bring his hands forward, squeezing tightly.
He knew that J'Vik had figured that T'Nok's grip would be weak, that T'Nok spent his days working with architecture and computer programs.
T'Nok also shaped the crystal of his creations with his own hands rather than robots. The tiny imperfections is what gave his works their beauty.
J'Vik's hands began to bend back and his bladearms were forced down and outward to the point of pain and still T'Nok just stared at the other male as he increased the pressure.
J'Vik's legs gave out and he crashed to the ground, giving a high keen of pain. T'Nok released his hands and stepped back as J'Vik moaned and lifted his hands and arms protectively against his thorax. The thick sour smell of defeat emanated from defeated male.
The matron stepped forward, an ornate and bejeweled power-smoker held up to her mandibles with one beringed hand as she inhaled deeply and expelled smoke from her legs and abdomen. The smoke covered the two males, wiping away the smell of anger, contention, and defeat.
"Thank you, your grace," T'Nok told the wealthy matron.
"Of course," she replied. The little ones on her abdomen raised their bladearms and gave small shrieks of victory to him.
"And thank you, little ones," T'Nok said.
The three just matured females, their just-molted carapaces shining and glittering in the sun, rushed forward to comfort J'Vik.
The gathered Treana'ad moved back into the ice cream parlor, gossiping about what they'd just seen, many of them showing one another the recordings they'd made of the contest, admiring one another's angles or artistic filters.
T'Nok was thinking. He had been struggling with nitrogen release in the garden of the birthing chamber. Enough to encourage the eggs to hatch and the grubs to mature, but not exposing it to the air or depend too much on computerized systems.
Tantervellian ferns. They uptake, fix, and release nitrogen on a steady pattern, he mused as he returned to his table.
The ice cream parlor's central air system had cleared away the heavy pheromones of anger and T'Nok sat down, moving the holo-emitter from next to the radio to the center of the table. He transferred his planning file to the holo-emitter and idly moved things around with one bladearm as he slowly ate and savored his ice cream.
J'Vik left with the three females, who were comforting and praising him. One of them had a fancy hover-disc, painted bright attention getting hyper-blue with ultra-violet accents. All four of them sat on the comfortable seats and the bigger female activated the privacy screen as the hover-disc floated away.
Paying attention to his work, T'Nok didn't notice J'Vik leaving or the interested looks from the females. He went through another bowl before he was finished, leaning back and looking at the chamber. The ferns provided just the right edging. The grubs, which would burrow under the ground and eat roots, would avoid the ferns due to dirt, sticking to the sand of the middle of the chamber.
It would give the chamber the right nitrogen cycle in the right levels without requiring HVAC systems that the matron was concerned might harm her grubs.
On the way home, relaxing in his hover-disc, one of the public warning billboards caught his eye.
J'Vik was featured prominently.
Right as he passed the huge sign a stamp appeared across J'Vik.
T'Nok laughed all the way home.
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I Dated a Scammer for 5/6 Months - from August 2019 till January 2020 - [LONG]

So I don't have any other place to post this since the person in question has NO idea about my Reddit account, but one way or the other, this needs to come out because I have a right to tell my story and to spread awareness of people like this who live in this world. If you THINK you know this person, think again! After you finish reading this, you'll never look at them the same way again.
Let me set the stage first. It all started in 2019. I got out of a bad long-distance relationship with a trans female who wound up ghosting me for 12 months after that. Quick side-note, we wound up talking and worked things out to get closure (she dumped me). ANYWAYS, I was feeling so alone and so empty after not only being ghosted by that person but also from being stood up by another person where they made me waste a whole night waiting on them.
After getting fed up over the situation, I did as any sane person would do and go to the MeetMe app, as well as sift through Facebook Dating. It was then that I finally found someone, someone I went to high school with, in 10th grade, someone who went by the name of Krista. Krista was a girl who was interested in me, but at the time, I wasn't interested in her. It got to a point where she left my school because I kept turning her down. Up until last year, I felt bad for doing that to her, and you'll see why this is no longer the case - me not feeling bad about it.
This started in August. We started talking and wound up exchanging phone numbers to text because let's face it, who on earth would want to invest time into messaging for days on a dating app? It all started pretty normal, but not for long, as things start to get much, much weirder. It started when we were trying to make plans to meet. As I've already outlined above, I went to school with this person for a brief time, so I know they're real - or at least that's what I was hoping. The verdict is still out on that one, and likely will forever be the case. But anyways, making plans made me realize this was no simple task, and here's why. Spoiler alert, we never ended up meeting. Do you think that's the end of this twisted story? Oh man, there's SO much more we have to cover.
So, back to making the plans. Since she lived no more than 20 minutes away, I didn't see it as being much of an issue, but here's where the problems STARTED. Just so this isn't repetitive for you, let me summarize this in a nutshell. We would make plans (oftentimes the plans being she'd come to meet me at my house and we'd go from there), then for some reason, she would always take a long time to text me back. When she FINALLY did text me back after leaving me waiting for what felt like hours, she would claim that she had to go to the hospital for some arbitrary reason, whether it be: seizures, car accidents, or just about every excuse under the sun. In the end, my hopes would be let up, hours would be wasted, and we would never meet. Oh, you think I'm done yet? NOPE! I've got SEVERAL more paragraphs to go. This is only the tip of the iceberg!
Now, I know I haven't mentioned this yet, but there will be at least two names mentioned here - Krista, and Kira. Make a mental note of these, because they'll be important later on. One day, I would get a text from Krista, saying that she is low on iTunes credit to pay for her Music subscription, or to - and let's be honest here, waste money on games with micro-transactions. I decided to be a nice person and send her a $25 iTunes card via email. You would think that that would be the end of it right? RIGHT??? Wrong! This turned into a DAILY thing, where I would wake up to her asking for MORE and used the SAME excuses as before. I of course sent it, thinking her requests were genuine. This went on for quite some time until she claimed that her Apple ID was "hacked by her friend". This "friend" of hers, also went to my high school at the time, so I knew them quite well too, to a degree. Anyways, Krista claimed that she got her account back, so being a person that knows a LOT about security, I told her to enable 2FA ASAP so that it doesn't happen again.
That's enough about Krista for a bit. Let's move on to this "Kira" person for a brief moment, as this whole money thing also extends to them. I would get a text one evening from this Kira person, asking me if I could send them guessed it! - an iTunes card to "surprise Krista" with, which was a $25 card. Mind you, I never gave this person my number, so this was only the beginning of the sketchiness of the situation. I initially told this person that I was extremely high on my credit card because of all the expenses (50% of them were from Krista constantly asking) but that I would be able to send it to them in a few days. It looked like they had agreed to the deal since they said they were okay with it. I woke up the next day to a text from the same person, asking me if I could send the card "now". But wait, didn't they agree to wait? I pointed this out to the person, and also pointed out how things just didn't line up very well with everything else.
Anyways, to get this person off my case, I sent them a $25 card, despite my fragile situation. Mind you, this whole time, Krista was "sleeping" and was "feeling sick" - this all took place the night after one of the failed meetups. This then escalated to Kira (who I'm convinced was Krista the whole time) asking for ACTUAL FUCKING MONEY via bank transfer. This meant that she was required to provide me with an email address to send the transfer - no banking info/routing info was needed. It started at $80 for "food" and even "promised" to bring Krista to me if I sent more - $100. To poke holes in this logic, I asked what would happen if I didn't meet the $100 threshold since it was implied that no $100=no Krista. The response I got implied that even if I did $80, she would "still bring Krista to me" so that honestly made no fucking sense, as you would have to give an incentive and double down on that to make such an incentive effective.
Anyways, I wound up sending the $80 - because I felt like there was no real incentive to go higher than that. Fast-forward into later in the evening, some texts were exchanged between me and this "Kira" person, where Kira was threatening me not to tell Krista anything about what was being said, and that Kira would be "very unhappy" if she found out I was telling Krista any of this. Krista was also texting me at the time and was "in the hospital" again because of a "fever". Her "cousin" Kira was also messaging me, asking for more money. I'm pretty sure I ducked out on this one since I gave statistical information, such as how much was on my credit card, how much money I had in my bank account, etc. She wasn't hearing ANY of it. She also called Krista mean names, like a "big fat cow" and talked about her in a way that no real cousin would ever talk about their family.
It was at this point when I had it with this Kira person and stopped responding to them for a while. I took the time to do a carrier lookup of their phone number, and sure enough, the results came back as a VoIP company that provides services to texting app companies (think of it like TextNow, TextPlus, etc). This person was using a FUCKING texting app to text me - which is why I said earlier that am convinced that this was Krista the whole time. I tried to confront Krista about this, and all Krista was able to tell me, was that her "cousin" was using that as her "main number" because they "couldn't pay for their phone bill". Seriously, what normal person uses a texting app for their main number? - not to mention the fact that texting app numbers are generally not for life, and that they get recycled and reused by other people.
Oh, but I didn't stop there, as I had done the same for Krista's number, but luckily it came back as an actual Canadian carrier, so there was some genuineness with this number, and that I had reason to believe that Krista was the one using a texting app to pose as another person.
The next day, Krista/Kira (from Krista's number) tried asking for more money, but I wound up standing my ground for once and saying no. It was at this point, that "Kira" said she was going home (Kira claimed to have been from the UK) so I would "never hear from her again" and I was like "good!" because I was done dealing with that bitch.
About a week passes by and I was told that Kira was put away for "trying to kill herself". And what do ya know, a few days later, Krista would then tell me that Kira "killed herself". But WAIT a fucking minute! How could Kira kill herself if she's been put away in a mental institution? Her "uncle" even confirmed it (this was coming from Krista's number too btw) This immediately confirmed that Krista was the one behind all of this.
A month passes by this time and it's October. There were more requests for money, each of which I denied. It got to a point where I had to blacklist Krista from asking for money for the next 3 months and made her verbally agree through texting, that she wouldn't attempt to break the ban, nor would she attempt to scam or extort me for money. This was going well for about 2 months until 25 days were remaining on her ban. Keep in mind, the whole time she would promise to pay me back after each transaction, but guess what? She NEVER did.
Fast-forward to about January (Christmas was a bust btw in case you haven't guessed) and I would wake up to see a text from her asking for - and you're gonna shit your pants, $200 for "surgery" at a hospital for a "brain tumour removal". I gave a friendly reminder that she was breaching the agreement by asking for, not only a LOT of money (more than her weekly and monthly limits combined) but also asking for it DURING her ban. I, of course, stood my ground and referred her to the different sections of the agreement (I'll probably put it at the end of this for those interested) that outlined how much she was allowed to ask for during any specific time, and that during her ban, she was NOT allowed to ask for more. She kept pushing and pushing, and. and I kept standing my ground.
When Krista didn't get what she wanted, she brought her "friend" into the situation (it was implied that Krista gave this friend her phone - but we all know what's going on) and tried to bribe me (also a breach of agreement) by saying they'll "pay me back" and "bring me my game". Side-note: Krista allegedly bought me LM3 for the Switch, so I was waiting since OCTOBER for the game. This friend, or should I sai Krista, also sent me sexually suggestive content to try to seduce me and give in to their "friend's" demands. I kept holding my ground and didn't even give two shits about what I was seeing in said content, because I was beyond pissed that this was happening again.
Anyways, to make a long story short, this "friend" of hers was trying to pay for surgery with CASH, and assumed that I would help, even though I kept saying that I wasn't willing to help for obvious reasons. Plus it wasn't like I had $200 just laying around. This person attempted to use guilt tactics on me, but they weren't working because I built up a defence against them after having been subjected to them from others. It was claimed that they were "taking the tumour out" but that they also couldn't proceed without payment. What????!!??? Two contradicting statements right here!
Anyways, after a day or two, I decided that enough was enough and that I was FUCKING DONE with this person. I sent them a text which read (and I still have it):
"Okay look, I’m not going to beat around the bush or sugarcoat things. Instead, I’m going to tell you how it honestly is from my point of view.
Over the past 6 months, I’ve been nothing but patient, and understanding to the best of my abilities. I’ve even tolerated the most unusual things, all because of the glimmer of hope you kept giving me about our meeting. Every time you cancelled or ghosted me, it was a stab in my heart and needless to say, it was torture for me. My mom hated to see me go through the same thing every single time.
I also feel like you took advantage of me. Asking me for iTunes cards daily, telling me they were all for emergencies, and then 4 months later, telling me it was all fake, made me not able to trust you as closely as I did. It was at that point that I wrote up an agreement, that you verbally agreed to.
Speaking of the agreement, I felt like ever since I put it into place, and restricted you for 90 days, that your communications with me had slowed. Starting, we used to talk for hours. Later on, it got to the point where I would only be so lucky to talk to you for only a 10th of that time, forcing me to wait all day (to be fair, I sleep for the majority of it) and all evening.
It feels as if the only reason you used to text me so much, is because I used to give you money of some kind, and that kept you coming back for more. As soon as I put restrictions on you, and the fact that you’ve been texting me less and less, is only further evidence to support my original theory, especially after you violated and attempted to work around the rules I had set out for you to follow.
I’ve talked to many friends about the scams I’ve been victimized in during the last 6 months and even described some of the events that have happened. A lot of people are feeling a little weary, stating that this isn’t how a normal and healthy relationship works. I’ve had my suspicions, such as me betting on you cancelling on me, even weeks before our scheduled dates, and I’m right 100% out of all those times.
What I want to tell you, is that I can’t keep going like this with you, and as unfortunate as this is for the both of us, I’m going to have to terminate this relationship. I haven’t been happy for over 4 months, and I’ve always made it a point not to hide that from you. I’ve noticed that the frequency of our fights have increased, and I feel like if we keep going, it’s only going to get worse over time.
As much as I love you - and believe me, I still do, this is just too painful for me to deal with. I know I made a promise, but realistically, I can’t keep it, not when this is going to destroy me on the inside.
All I’m going to say is if you want me back, come find me IN PERSON. I expect to still get what’s rightfully mine: the game you got me, the money you owe me, and whatever else you want. I’m sorry, but I honestly feel like it’s for the best. All these health problems and cancellations are taking an emotional toll on me, and I just don’t know if I can take it any longer. I’ve held out for as long as I could, but I’m afraid that, that time is nearly up."
She then came back and said that it was "all my fault" and that she "did nothing wrong". She then promptly told me to "delete her off of anything" - uh yeah sure, wipe away the evidence why don't ya! She also made an excuse that she was "scared" that she'd get hurt again while AGREEING to have a relationship with me. Like, bruh, if you weren't ready, you should've told me sooner, and not let this drag out for 5+ months.
I then broke off communication with her, until a month later when she messaged me on IG, asking for more money for "food" and that she "got her surgery" that she was too poor to pay for at the time.
I, of course, kept holding my ground and not giving in. At this point, things were pretty much over as far as trying to talk sense into this person. It was then that I made a Facebook page to expose her by uploading all kinds of screenshots and videos about her. She caught wind of this, and threatened to charge me for "harassment". She claimed to have talked to the police AFTER I did what she asked of me - because she threatened to do it if I didn't. So I feel like this is the only safe place I can post this and hopefully get some recognition for my trouble. I'll be attaching the agreement, for proof of everything talked about here. I'm sorry this was such a long read, and honestly, it took over 2 hours to write this, but I feel like this NEEDS to be out there so that others don't fall victim to these types of scams. Now for the agreement:
"Agreement Between [my real name] & [scammer's name]
Please READ the following Agreement carefully. The term “AGREEMENT” will reference this entire document as a whole. The term “BOYFRIEND” will make reference to [me]. The term GIRLFRIEND will make reference to [scammer].
These terms and conditions will be effective upon being agreed to. Below are the Terms & Conditions of this Agreement. Any breach of these Terms & Conditions may result in Termination. (please see TERMINATION section)
SECTION 1 - Sending Money to Boyfriend
Sending money to Boyfriend is optional and is often not required, unless otherwise stated outside of the Agreement. For example, if an outstanding amount is owed to Boyfriend, then Girlfriend must pay Boyfriend back to avoid a breach of this Agreement. Boyfriend will not ask, beg, bribe, guilt, manipulate or extort money from Girlfriend for any reason. It is Boyfriend’s responsibility to manage their finances.
SECTION 2 - Receiving Money From Boyfriend
Girlfriend may request under the following conditions. These conditions also extend to any friends, family or acquaintances.a) Transactions are NOT guaranteed 100%b) Girlfriend must not ask constantly, beg, bribe, guilt, manipulate or extort money from Boyfriend for any reason. It is Girlfriend’s responsibility to manage their financesc) Girlfriend may request money within the following amounts below:- No more than $50 per week- No more than $100 per monthIt is advised that Girlfriend stays within these limits to avoid breach of this Agreement.
SECTION 3 - Fraud Prevention
This Section of the Agreement is effective as of October 31, 2019. Either party will not participate in scams or other fraudulent activities, or involve other parties outside of this Agreement. For example, Boyfriend will not scam or extort money from Girlfriend, nor will Boyfriend be permitted to use an outside party. Breach of this section will result in immediate Termination of this Agreement.
SECTION 4 - Termination
This Agreement is subject to Termination at any time from either Boyfriend or Girlfriend if breach of any part of this Agreement or Contract occurs. Termination of this Agreement may include restrictions on asking either party for money for a set length of time. The length of time is determined at the sole discretion of the party member initiating the Termination. For example, Boyfriend initiates Termination. It is up to Boyfriend what restrictions to apply, and for how long. Optionally, either party may impose an “Appeal Date” (see Appeals section for more info) in which the party being restricted can appeal on that date. Otherwise, the restricted party must wait out the number of days until said restriction is lifted.
SECTION 5 - Appeals
Appeals may be offered at the discretion of the party member in this Agreement who initiates the Termination. The restricted will not appeal before the Appeal Date. Appeals before the Appeal Date will be automatically denied.
SECTION 6 - Changes to Agreement
Boyfriend or Girlfriend may adjust any terms of this Agreement at any time. Doing so will require a THIRTY (30) day Notice to the other party in this Agreement. The changes to the Agreement will not be effective until the Notice period has passed. For example, Boyfriend proposes a change in Section 2 on November 12, 2019. Section 2’s changes will not be relevant until December 12, 2019, and therefore can not be used or enforced until such time.
By replying with “I agree to these terms”, you are agreeing to this Contract as well as the Terms & Conditions, and that this Agreement will be effective immediately. You also agree that the terms of this agreement may be changed at any point with proper Notice."

I realize that the above agreement was poorly thrown together and that this was not run by a lawyer, but I needed something to keep this scammer at bay for a few months and test their loyalties when it came to what they cared more about - me or money.
Anyways, that's all I have to say about this. Because of this experience, I'll never be able to trust anyone ever again, and I now have PTSD because of this. If you're Krista and you're reading this, go fuck yourself. For everyone else, I thank you for taking the time for reading through this. I realize how much of an idiot I was, and I am very disappointed in myself for not only letting this go on for the length of time that it did, but that I would even send money to someone I haven't met in person. It's safe to say that going forward, I will be much more strict and far less forgiving since I'm DONE with taking people's shit. Yes, I've blocked this person on everything I've ever talked with them on, and yes, I still have all her info and every shred of evidence on her if it's required in the future.
Anyways, I wanted to post this to not only tell my story but to spread awareness on this sub that there are psychopaths out there like Krista. Thanks again for reading, I really appreciate it.
submitted by therealbeanjr to Scams [link] [comments]

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Apple & Onion Have Some Tips - Sing Along Cartoon Network

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